Change
by tonnie2001969
Summary: JJ/Rossi - “Wow. We didn’t have that ten years ago.” Now complete...but the story continues in "A Happy Chance."
1. Chapter 1

When David Rossi graduated summa cum laude with his first degree from Yale, Jennifer Jareau was still learning her multiplication tables and practicing simple scales on the piano, showing no musical talent whatsoever. But her math skills were exemplary.

It was a Tuesday in July when JJ kissed her first boyfriend while at summer camp, hiding behind the arts and crafts cabin, the smell of pine needles being what she remembered most. Later that same year, on a Thursday in August, Dave met three children who lost their parents to senseless trauma, never forgetting their screams that still shattered his dreams.

On the day that she made captain of the soccer team and scored her first goal of the season, with her parents cheering in the stands, he married the second in a string of three women, all brunettes with violent tempers and lofty expectations. They were all sorely disappointed, carrying his name but never understanding the man.

While Dr. Rossi, jaded holder of not one but two post-grad degrees, was in the process of happily divorcing the third soon-to-be ex-Mrs. Rossi, Agent Jareau entered the halls of the FBI with a newly-minted diploma and a zeal to overtake the world. Bureaucracy aside, she succeeded far more than she failed.

And two months after he published his seventh book, another moneymaker to be sure, he received a call from an old friend, a rare thing in his world, and walked back into the Bureau, Erin Strauss be damned. JJ stepped into Hotch's office minutes after him, and fate, which Rossi heretofore didn't believe in, caused a cosmic collision that neither one of them would ever recover from.

******

It was Hotch who officially introduced them, although Rossi wasn't paying much attention to the actual words. He was too focused on the clear, intelligent eyes staring back at him, something just snapping at her direct gaze and oh-so-professional smile. Damn, she intrigued him, and that was saying a lot. Reaching out to take her proffered hand, he bit back a smirk when he felt her shiver for just the barest of moments.

For her part, JJ was just trying not to act like a star struck teenager in the presence of a rock idol. But when his fingers firmly clasped around hers, twice, she suddenly realized she hadn't felt strength like that in a really long time. A really, really long time. Dealing with the amenities and stating her case, she made what she hoped was a graceful exit, her mind still reeling from Rossi's intense stare. She wondered for the rest of the day if the man could actually read her mind or if she was hallucinating.

Watching long blond hair swinging as she walked through the bullpen, Rossi momentarily forgot that Hotch was even in the room, let alone on the same planet. "Wow. We didn't have that ten years ago."

"What do you mean?"

Hotch's words shook him out of his self-imposed introspection. Rossi recognized that tight, controlled tone; he had used it himself on suspects with questionable motives. Putting on the innocent expression that never actually worked for him, he answered quickly but calmly, "Communications coordinator."

But it didn't take an above average intelligence or multiple degrees to realize that his old friend, now supervisor, didn't believe a word that he said.

"Right." Hotch answered slowly, mentally cataloguing the response for review at a later date. "Well, a lot's changed. Come meet the team."

His mind still focused on blue eyes and blond hair, Rossi laughed to himself as he followed Hotch down the metal stairs. Change was in the eye of the beholder, and, damn, he liked what he saw.


	2. Chapter 2

Post-ep for 3.06

Carrollton, Texas

JJ considered herself a sane, rational person, placing great store in her abilities to consider various options and choose wisely.

She was not easily offended. Decades of experience dealing with older brothers and various cousins tended to cause one to develop toughened skin and strong fortitude. It helped that she was her grandmother's favorite.

Years spent on a sports field taught her how to take multiple hits, to fight through the pain, to persevere under pressure. She had the bruises to prove it, and the X-rays to confirm the broken ankle that almost derailed her scholarship. But her SAT scores more than compensated for any physical shortcomings.

Countless hours making life-altering decisions for the BAU team had influenced her ability to discreetly choose her battles, knowing that every phone call she made, every word she spoke, could infinitely affect incalculable lives.

But all of that experience failed her now. Jennifer Jareau was mad as hell, and someone was going to pay for it. David Rossi was a dead man.

*************

The value of a good pair of running shoes could not be truly measured until proven. Every time her feet hit the treadmill, JJ thanked her lucky stars that she invested prudently. Running at least twenty miles every week required the best equipment.

She would have preferred to be outside in the seemingly nice park she could see from her hotel window, but wisdom outweighed preference when she was in a strange town. Enough pictures of enough dead women in enough small towns tended to create a sense of paranoia. At this time of night, the empty hotel gym would have to suffice.

Glancing down at the lit display, she jabbed the appropriate button, accelerating her speed to match her current thoughts. Self-aware to a fault, JJ knew that she needed at least five miles of hard effort before she would even be able to rationally consider any options. She had blown off drinks with Emily and Morgan, for the first time ever, in order to regain her sanity.

But those five miles came and went quickly as she continued to increase her speed, no longer bothering to even acknowledge the display as she pounded against the moving machine. At mile six, the desire for David Rossi's head on a platter still outweighed all other needs in her life at that moment. She kept running.

Her thoughts were faster. Who did he think he was, anyway? To her way of thinking, slightly distorted as it may currently be, David Rossi's unpardonable sin was not that he placed himself above the team, but rather that he contacted HER media. She was the media liaison for this team. Under no circumstances did she like having her methods or judgment questioned, especially by Hotch, her boss and her friend. She was trained, she was informed, and she was relevant, damn it.

It didn't take a rocket scientist or a genius with an eidetic memory to recognize that the man in question apparently didn't possess a working knowledge of the team concept. Rossi's methods were archaic at best, deadly at worst, and likely to cost her hours of valuable time. Visions of Erin Strauss on the Milwaukee case danced in her head as she contemplated how much she truly missed Jason Gideon.

But she had to be honest with herself. Her pace faltered for a second as she realized that something about David Rossi drew her like Jason Gideon never had. Gideon had been her mentor, her friend, her self-appointed protector in a still male-dominated field. Rossi, however, was the reason that fathers locked their daughters in towers and threw away the keys.

At mile seven, her legs informed her brain that muscle failure was imminent unless immediate action was taken. Not bothering to consider the option of slowing down gradually, her fingers slammed the red stop button as she bent double, struggling to catch her breath as she stared at her pink and green shoes.

The click of the door behind her snapped her out of well-deserved recovery. Glancing sideways, her loosening ponytail partially obstructing her view, she blinked twice, quite certain she was hallucinating.

David Rossi stopped dead in his tracks as he took in the sight in front of him. Long blond hair covered part of her face, but he caught her glance and held it as she slowly straightened, her blue eyes flashing.

David Rossi was a dead man, and he knew it.


	3. Chapter 3

After the day he had, all Dave wanted to do was find a bottle of scotch, aged and mellow, and a soft pillow, preferably down-filled. But he knew from personal experience that if he succumbed to those desires right now, he wouldn't achieve the deep sleep that he so desperately needed, unable to turn off the thoughts in his mind. Sleep was only his friend when the nightmares didn't invade it. The only thing that would help him tonight would be pushing his body beyond physical endurance, forcing himself to a point where exhaustion would overtake him and erase all rational thought. In other words, he was going to pound the hell out of a treadmill.

The case itself was not the worst that he had ever investigated, nor would it even make the top twenty in his career. Because a serial killer was a serial killer, he had no doubt that he could solve this case successfully. What bothered him most, however, was this team. Today had not been one of his more stellar performances, at least not in the eyes of his new teammates.

He knew he was a loner. He knew he was arrogant. And he knew he could find this killer, with or without advanced phone traces, group thinking, or the latest technological gadgets and gizmos. He understood his laptop, conquered email, and mastered cell phones. That was enough for anyone, as far as he was concerned. He was old school, and proud of it.

The last forty-eight hours had given him an entirely new view of the world around him. And try as he might to ignore it, part of that world involved a certain petite blond. Regret did not enter his thought processes as he mentally reviewed the day; it rarely did. And no matter what his three ex-wives might say, he knew he didn't have misogynistic tendencies. So he knew that his actions were not motivated by anything other than the desire to successfully resolve this current case. But something about the look in the eyes of the communications coordinator had stuck with him, long after his meeting with Hotch.

Walking down the empty hotel hallway, his thoughts were still jumbling in his mind as he reached for the doorknob to the hotel gym, sliding the keycard quickly. Glancing at his watch, he was mentally calculating the mileage he would need to cover in order to be finished by midnight when he pushed the door open and came face to face with Jennifer Jareau.

Two younger sisters, an extended Italian family, and three ex-wives had conditioned him to respond quickly but cautiously to that certain look that he recognized in JJ's eyes.

He was a dead man. And he was fairly certain that he knew why.

*****************************

Forcing herself to control her breathing and ignore the pounding in her ears, JJ straightened slowly and watched Rossi walk into her workout room, suddenly realizing that seven miles were not nearly long enough. Maybe she should have had those drinks with Emily and Morgan after all.

No matter what she was still feeling at that moment, JJ was savvy enough to recognize that the man in front of her was technically one of her supervisors. Speaking her mind would not serve her best interests, or those of the team, at that exact moment. However, there was no way in hell that she was going to allow her skills and talents to be ignored or taken for granted, no matter how legendary the man may be. She was professional and poised, and she would be treated as such.

But once again, fate, which she often ignored or relegated to the realm of coincidence, chose that exact moment to prove otherwise. For as she was forcing a smile on her face and about to greet Rossi, the pink shoestring on her left shoe was loosening, catching slighting underneath her feet as she stepped forward.

To his credit, Rossi moved quickly when he realized what was happening, and in less than three seconds, his body took the brunt of her fall. His arms automatically wrapped around her, tightly pulling her to him.

JJ's eyes widened as she suddenly realized that she was no longer on the treadmill, her breath catching tightly in her chest. All she comprehended was that she was up against something solid that wasn't moving. She didn't know how long Rossi was talking to her before she finally responded to his questions concerning her safety. "Thanks, I think."

Rossi slowly loosened his grip, keeping his hands on her shoulders, allowing her to regain her balance. Smirking at the shocked look on her face, he responded, "I think it's the least I could do today, Agent Jareau."

He watched her eyes narrow, and wondered for the barest of moments if he should have just kept his arms to himself and let her fall. But his mother had raised him to be a gentleman, and gentlemen caught falling women. It was in the gentleman's rule book.

Her feet solidly now beneath her, JJ focused her remaining energies on choosing her next words wisely, partially comprehending his fingers touching the bare skin on her shoulders. Her smile was tight as she answered, "I don't think either one of us really wants to talk about today right now, Agent Rossi."

Rossi returned the smile, forcing himself to maintain an even tone. "I'd say that's a fair assessment of the situation." But instead of stopping there and removing his hands, like any rational man would have done, his brain couldn't stop the next words that came out of his mouth. "I guess you think I owe you an apology."

To his credit, he recognized his faulty words once they were spoken. But a part of him, the part that he normally tried to tightly maintain, wanted to provoke this blond slip of a woman and to see her response. He would question himself about that at a later date.

Her eyes never blinked as she kept the smile plastered on her face. Her subconscious screamed loudly, attempting to warn her that her actions were definitely not those of a rational person. She ignored it. "Now why exactly would I think such a thing, Agent Rossi? Surely you're not referring to that moment this afternoon when you completely ignored my status on this team and overrode my influence and authority with the local authorities?"

"Agent Jareau…"

Her soft, even voice continued, overriding his attempted interruption. "Or are you referring to the moment when my Unit Chief questioned my ability to maintain control over my area of responsibility, holding me responsible for what he perceived, and rightly so, to be a grievous breach of protocol?"

"JJ…"

Her eyes continued to flash, and he was reminded for the barest moments of his first encounter with this woman. He had been right. There was something there that intrigued him.

Her words came faster. "Or perhaps there's something else troubling your conscience, sir? Who knows what else you might have done while I was attempting to recover some sort of order out of the chaos that developed as a result of your …"

"Jennifer." It wasn't the use of her given name that startled her into silence, but rather the tone with which he said it. A cross between anger, humor, and something she couldn't identify wrapped around the one word, causing her eyes to widen as her brain suddenly caught up with her words.

"Well, this has been fun, but I believe it's gone on long enough." Rossi felt the tic in his upper lip move into hyperdrive, forcing himself to mentally count to ten as he maintained eye contact with the flashing blue ones. His hands still gripping her shoulders, he pulled her closer.

And they both heard the door once again click open behind them once again.


	4. Chapter 4

For years to come, Rossi would always harbor ill feelings toward the hotel employee who unsuspectingly entered his domain at that moment. It didn't matter that the young man came from a single parent home, was working his way through college, and had a promising career ahead of him. If Rossi had learned his named, he might have privately arranged for him to conveniently disappear from the face of the earth. Rossi knew people who could accomplish very interesting things, and they owed him. Big.

For his part, the young man paid no attention to the bearded man and the blonde woman. Headphones firmly attached, his entire world was focused around the lyrics of the latest Shakira tune, which he mangled badly and loudly. Dropping off a stack of white towels, he was in and out of the gym in less than fifteen seconds.

Those were the longest fifteen seconds of Jennifer Jareau's life.

Reality slammed back into focus with meteoric speed, all of her senses suddenly hyper aware. Every cell of her skin registered his touch, the heat from his fingers seeping toward her bones. Her mouth suddenly felt dry, as if she had been walking in a desert rather than running in an air-conditioned room. Part of her mind tried to recall her last few words, but her subconscious was actively burying that information, only to be remembered with great pain and agony.

All of that paled in comparison, however, to what she saw as she stared into his eyes.

JJ was not a stupid woman. She had seen more than her fair share of pain, torture and agony, and her job required her to be able to read the responses of the people around her. And what she saw in the eyes of David Rossi at that exact moment caused her to shiver, from her top of her head to the bottom of her untied shoes.

He was not unaffected. Her shudder ran through his fingers like an electric shock, and he dropped his hands as quickly as he had first grabbed her. But he never took his eyes off of her, drawn to the depth of emotions he could still see playing just right below the surface. Suddenly, after fifty two years of life, he understood why man explored the bottom of the sea, searching for hidden treasure.

She blinked first, breaking the spell. Smiling self-consciously, she stepped backward, needing to place some sort of distance between them. Swallowing hard, JJ wondered if she would even be able to speak, not trusting her throat or her words. Risking it, she murmured, "I think I'll call it a night."

He nodded once, acknowledging her words, his eyes still watching her every move. His mind went into overdrive, quickly determining that there was no way that he was going to let this woman leave without him getting in the last word. Waiting until she was almost to the door, he called out her name. "Jennifer."

Damn. Her hand was on the door, her escape almost complete. She stopped in her tracks, turning slowly to face him. "Yes?"

His eyes glanced down at her feet, and she automatically followed his gaze to stare at her sneakers. The offending shoe string hung loosely, out of place, just waiting to once again bring chaos to her normally ordered life.

His voice drew her attention again. "You might want to take care of that, Jennifer. I'd hate for you to fall when I'm not there to catch you."

Apparently, the powers that be were wrong. Exercise was NOT healthy for physical or mental well-being. She really should have had those drinks.

*************

That night, no nightmares invaded Rossi's dreams. But his sleep was still disturbed.

When he finally closed his eyes, visions of a beautiful blonde were imprinted on the inside of his eyelids. He went to sleep, deeply, with a smile on his lips as soon as his head hit the pillow.


	5. Chapter 5

For those of you who are wondering, I messed with the timeline in 3.06 "About Face." But we're back on track now, so enjoy! Thanks to everyone who has been reading and reviewing.

Post Ep for 3.06

"About Face"

JJ lived her life by the motto of "when it doubt, check it out." From choosing the right college to buying her last car, she had devoted hours to research, determining exactly the pros and cons of each situation before she invested her time or money. This trait had served her well over the years, and she didn't see any reason to change now.

Which is why she found herself still sitting at her desk at 1 AM on a Saturday morning, deep into research in various databases, some belonging to the Bureau and some not. Garcia had been very helpful in the past, teaching JJ a few tricks that were now of great benefit.

The hallways were dark, and the last person she had seen was Manny, the weekend janitor. She was alone, and that's how she wanted it at that moment. The last thing she needed was for any of her team to find out what she was doing.

The object of her search was not nearly as straightforward as she might have first thought. For the past three hours, she had learned more about the life and times of David Rossi than she thought possible. Yes, she had been expecting reviews, letters of commendation, and reports of legend and grandeur. But what she had not realized prior to this little exercise was that the man seriously possessed a once-in-a-generation mind, comprehending and expounding on issues that were far beyond the realm of normal comprehension. She had just spent twenty-three minutes reading his in-depth analysis of the communist response to nuclear proliferation as it related to defense strategies, and found that she agreed with it.

According to her research, he apparently collected specific works of art, his name showing up on many successful bids at well-known dealers. His weapon skills were spoken of by those in the know with a slight tinge of admiration or jealously, the envy expressed by those who failed to best him at the recent International Firearms Competition in Denver. And a questionable search of a few questionable databases revealed that his financial investments were sound, prudent, and phenomenal. She wasn't sure she had seen that many zeroes in a long time.

She filed all of this information away in her mind, recognizing its importance but not allowing it to deter her from her final goal. What interested her most about David Rossi was not his finances or what his editor thought about his latest book. Jennifer Jareau wanted to know what made him tick. And that involved three ex-wives and a place called Ruby Ridge.

Information was power, and she needed all the ammunition she could get.

***************

After two long days on the road with his new team, all Rossi wanted was to find his way back to his farm and his dog. A glass of scotch would not be out of the question.

David Rossi considered himself to be a creature of habit. Adaptive when necessary, he understood and employed new techniques and methods when the situation required, but only as a last resort. He placed great faith in tried and true routines that had served him well in the past.

Which is why he was not surprised to see a brown-wrapped package waiting on his front porch. A quick call from a Texas hotel room had ensured him that he would have the information he needed about a certain co-worker, and he had not been disappointed. Years of consulting and contacts had taught him to trust a small, non-descript research firm that specialized in finding information that others couldn't. He knew what this package contained.

It was midnight when he finally sat down in his study, a dim light the only lumination he needed as he started reading the well-prepared information. He was about to become intimately acquainted with all areas of Jennifer Jareau's life, and he was going to take his time.

Two hours later, he finally closed the file and placed it on the plank floor beside him, pulling off his glasses as he reached for the long-ignored glass of scotch. He was informed, but not satisfied. She was a contradiction in terms, and that did not fit well in his world.

Jennifer Jareau was a genius in her own right. Her SAT scores were nearly perfect, guaranteeing her a free ride to almost any college in the country. Yet she had chosen a small, private in-state school that allowed her to remain close to her family. Excelling at sports, she had organized summer camps for poverty-stricken youth, and she apparently still spent one week each summer leading a portion of the camp herself. The only gap he could find in her history was a missing two months approximately ten years ago, and no explanation had been provided.

The week after she graduated with a 3.99 GPA, she had passed up five job offers at various prestigious advertising firms, instead choosing to enter the Academy. She had been recruited heavily, her skills and her appearance both considered an asset in the growing field of inter-departmental relations. Her master's degree came two years later, and her thesis was an in-depth advanced analysis of public perceptions as influenced by criminal actions. She had quoted HIS third book in the bibliography.

Her condo was paid for, and she had never bounced a check or missed a credit card payment. She donated large sums each year to two specific charities, both tax-exempt, that she never claimed on her tax returns.

Her health was excellent, her FBI physicals always glowing and complementary, and she took nothing stronger than over the counter pain medication. But there was a standing prescription in her name at an out-of-way mom-and-pop pharmacy just across the state line into Maryland, and he recognized the drug as a popular anti-anxiety medication.

She had an active social life, if he was any judge of social lives. But no long term boyfriend had been in the picture for the last ten years, and he chalked that up to her career and the FBI. He was the first to admit that the job was not conducive to maintaining relationships.

He closed his eyes, leaning back against the leather chair as he pondered the information. She was hiding something, and he wanted to know what it was. If he understood her, he could catch her.

David Rossi was going hunting.


	6. Chapter 6

Mid-ep for 3.06, "Identity"

Somewhere in Montana

Glancing at the clock on the lower corner of her laptop screen, JJ was shocked to realize that midnight had come and gone ten minutes ago. She blinked her eyes several times, wondering if she could just wiggle her nose and wish the time back. But apparently that only happened to would-be witches in black and white sitcoms, not for exceedingly tired FBI agents.

The day had not been good to her. Hell, it hadn't been good to a lot of people, especially three women that her team had literally dug up earlier that day. Their first day in Montana was not looking promising, and the thought of tomorrow did not offer much hope.

JJ knew that she should have gone to bed an hour ago, but she was bound and determined to finish the press release and prepare for the press conference that was certain to occur in the morning. Multiple phone calls to countless paramilitary and militia groups had yielded little if any assistance in their search, no matter how many times she omitted references to the FBI. Helping the families of the four known victims had taken up most of her afternoon, costing her valuable hours that she was now compensating for.

Not that she would have had it any other way. She was willing to do whatever she had to do in order to help those who could no longer speak for themselves. Looking into the eyes of the husbands and children that were left behind had taken its toll on her, though, and she recognized the signs of mental and physical fatigue. She had just typed the same word twelve times, and misspelled it every time. Perhaps her brain was trying to send her a message. Or perhaps she needed to update her spell checker.

Leaning back in the borrowed plastic chair in the borrowed office, JJ pressed her thumbs against her closed eyelids, rubbing slowly as she tried to imagine a world filled with rainbows and flowers instead of death and sorrow. Opening her eyes slowly, she wasn't surprised to find herself still in the drab county sheriff's office, darkened offices all around her. Saddened maybe, but not surprised.

She wondered for a moment if she would even be able to go to sleep if she tried. Some nights were much worse than others, and she was fairly certain that tonight would be one of those. Dealing with the deaths of women her age always made her question her own mortality, and the nightmares didn't help. This case would certainly add its own horrific contributions, visions of tortured women already imprinted on her brain.

And she doubted the bed at the only motel in town, a low-budget lodge with twenty units located next to the sheriff's office, was going to be conducive to a good night's rest. Experience had taught her not to expect much when dealing with cheap motels. But her face would be the one on the television cameras tomorrow, and it would be fairly obvious if she didn't have at least four hours of sleep.

Protocol dictated that she and Emily room together whenever the accommodations were considered to be less than ideally secure, and their current motel certainly met those conditions. JJ privately thought, however, that this rule was just the Bureau's way of saving the taxpayers' money while trying to appear protective of its female agents. Whatever the case may be, she knew that Emily would be expecting her soon, and she didn't want to keep her roommate from a well-deserved night of rest.

Sighing softly to herself, she started the process of shutting down her laptop, sliding her Blackberry into the case on her hip, touching her gun in the process. Her hand stilled, fingers still against the metal, as her mind flashed back to the confrontation earlier that afternoon. Following Rossi's orders earlier that day, she and Morgan had entered the local bar, primarily to gain information from a local militia group leader. For just a moment, she had been certain that she would have to use her firearm, and she also had been certain that the outcome would not be pretty. A shootout with an armed militia never ended well. The FBI could teach seminars on that theology.

If she was honest with herself, she would admit that she had not appreciated being chosen for that particular job based solely on her looks any more than Morgan had. Morgan's little pep talk had not helped instill confidence in the situation, but she understood his concern. She didn't like it, but she understood it.

Her mind took that opportunity to focus on the other members of the team. Well, one team member in particular. Rossi was not responding well to their time in Montana, and she wondered how much of his reactions were a result of still adapting to the team. She suspected that the percentage would be small, possibly negligible, when compared to other options, specifically Ruby Ridge. Reid wasn't the only one who had read and memorized Rossi's books.

In between all of her other dealings today, she had carefully watched him, noticing his responses to the various people they had encountered. He was the consummate agent, but there had been an underlying current of something she just couldn't identify. And she had to ask herself why it even mattered. There were no apparent answers to that question, but she knew that it did matter.

Shaking herself out of the memories, she grabbed her bag, loading her computer and everything she needed in order to continue working at the motel. Having had enough sleepless nights in the past, she always prepared for the possibility of insomnia, planning ahead to finish certain pieces of work if necessary. There was nothing she hated more than staring at a blank ceiling for hours on end, especially in a nameless motel in a nameless town.

Wondering if Garcia was still awake back at Quantico, she mentally calculated the time difference and decided not to risk it. Even an insomniac like their technological goddess had to crash every now and then. JJ knew she was prolonging the inevitable, trying to avoid sleep, and she forced herself to start moving.

The small, dark office was deserted and quiet as she made her way to the glass front door, stepping out onto the old-fashioned wooden porch. The night air was cooler than she expected, the sunny day long gone. Stopping outside the door, she just stood for a moment, taking a deep breath as she listened to the sounds of crickets and the occasional owl. Living in the middle of the chaos that was Quantico didn't often allow for moments like this, and she was content to just stare into the night sky, the moon bright above her.

Hitching her messenger bag higher on her shoulder, she turned, intending to walk the few hundred steps to her new home away from home. Instead, she found herself face to face with a very pissed off David Rossi.

Apparently, her night was not going to be any better than her day.

*********

It had been a little after midnight when Rossi realized that JJ was not in her room at the motel. He and Hotch had just finished a last minute meeting of the minds, determining various plans of attack for the next day. Hotch had asked him to take the lead in certain areas, recognizing Rossi's experience in dealing with some of the finer subpoints of the case. He had agreed, reluctantly, knowing that it was necessary for their success.

Finally heading toward his own motel room, Rossi stopped when he heard a noise, turning sharply toward the offending sound. Midnight in Montana, surrounded by various militia members, was not a place that he felt safe and secure. He watched, slightly in shock, as JJ stepped out onto the porch of the darkened sheriff's office, alone.

Rossi often prided himself on maintaining his composure, realizing the importance of such control when dealing with often-emotional people and potentially stressful situations. That control completely failed him at that exact moment.

His feet ate up the ground quietly, his eyes on her the entire time. JJ's blonde hair made her an easy target in the bright moonlight, and he resisted the urge to pull his weapon. By the time he reached the porch, she was turning toward him, and he stopped directly in her path, just waiting for her.

The shock in her eyes was evident, but he really didn't care at that moment. His words were ground out, harsh in the otherwise quiet night. "What in the hell do you think you're doing?"

Her computer bag slammed to the floor of the porch as she threw back her shoulders, automatically spreading her feet and dropping her hand. Staring into his eyes, she answered in the same tone, ""Don't EVER do that to me again. Do you understand me?"

It took him about three seconds to realize that her right hand had automatically dropped defensively to her gun, and her fingers had already grabbed the handle. His left hand shot out, wrapping around hers and holding it tightly in place as he pulled her closer. "Don't ever do what, Jennifer? Don't ever keep you from getting yourself killed? Don't ever stop you from placing yourself in a vulnerable position? Any of those things sound important to you, little girl?"

The moonlight bounced off of her face as she tilted her head in order to look at him, mentally filing away the fact that he had called her little girl. She would deal with that at a later date. "Don't ever scare me like that, David Rossi. I was perfectly fine until you came charging in to save a supposed damsel in distress. In case you haven't noticed, I'm not a helpless damsel and I'm not in distress. If you had bothered to ask, you would have found out that Emily knew where I was and when to expect me at the motel."

"I don't give a damn what Emily knew or what your plans were." He forcefully turned her, pressing her up against the log wall of the building, placing himself firmly into her personal space as he stared down into her eyes. "Jennifer, you don't know these people. You don't know what they are capable of, but I do. And you have no idea how much they hate what you and I represent, and to what lengths they will go to prove that hatred."

She stared back at him, slowly watching every emotion possible pass through his eyes, her anger slowly dissipating. Knowing that she had to ask the one question that had been on her mind for days, she whispered the words, wondering if either of them was prepared for the answer.

"David, what did Ruby Ridge do to you?"


	7. Chapter 7

_Thanks to everyone who has been reading & reviewing. It helps to know that people are interested in this little universe! If you haven't watched Episode 3.07, I want to encourage you to check it out (it's on YouTube if you don't have the DVDs) I learned a lot about Rossi from this episode._

**Mid-ep for 3.07**

**Identity**

**Somewhere in Montana**

For a space of time, it seemed as if the entire world stopped as soon as she asked the question. If she hadn't known better, she would have claimed that even the crickets stopped chirping, seemingly waiting for his answer.

Rossi had gone stock still at her words, every muscle in his face freezing in place, just bare inches from hers. She could feel his hand still wrapped around hers, pressed tightly against her gun, his fingers suddenly gripping tighter as he continued to stare into her eyes.

Never blinking, she let him look for whatever he needed to find in her gaze. Startling herself, she slowly began to realize that her entire opinion of the man was changing before her very eyes, and she wasn't entirely certain what that meant in the scheme of everything. Only someone who had experienced a great loss or pain could have reacted like he did earlier, and she suddenly understood the protective streak that had emerged in him. A look of shock seemed to be settling in his features, and she just didn't know what to make of that.

For his part, Rossi was astounded at the look of pure understanding that he saw in her eyes. He knew that sooner or later, one of his new team members would ask him about the militia standoff at Ruby Ridge, if for no other reason than curiosity over one of the worst political disasters in the history of the Bureau. But he didn't see that in her. What he saw was acceptance, and perhaps perception far beyond her years.

Finally, after what seemed like forever to her, he whispered hoarsely, "How old were you when Ruby Ridge happened?"

Her response was just as soft as his, barely loud enough to be heard in the night air. "Old enough to remember what happened there changed the entire way the public viewed the FBI."

If possible, it seemed that he stepped even closer, pressing her tighter against the wall. She could feel the solidness of the wood behind her, but she was far more aware of the solid force in front of her. His words literally whispered against her cheek as he asked, "What else do you remember?"

She turned her hand slowly in his, shifting until she threaded her fingers through his, feeling his larger hand surround hers. Tilting her head slightly, she answered his question carefully. "Ruby Ridge was probably the first time that most of America had to confront their views about militias and an armed society, especially when the death of Vicki Weaver happened. And followed so closely by Waco, it only served to polarize viewpoints and to force unpopular choices to be made."

Three weeks ago, he would have been surprised at her answer, not expecting her insight and discernment. But he had learned things about Jennifer Jareau in that time, and he expected no less of her now. "You know I was there, right?"

She just nodded, her blonde hair shaking slightly against her shoulders. Again, she felt his fingers squeeze hers, and she just tightened hers back in response. Silence reigned again for a minute or two, and JJ knew that what she was experiencing right then was far beyond anything she had ever felt before.

Still aware of his surroundings, Rossi suddenly realized that their location was not the best place to finish this conversation. They were exposed and open, and anybody, including their team, could interpret this in many different compromising directions. His voice was hoarse as he whispered, "We need to finish this conversation somewhere else, Jennifer."

Once again, she nodded, feeling him tug on her hand as he stepped backwards. He reached for her long-forgotten computer bag, slinging it over his shoulder as he kept her hand tightly tucked in his. In less than a minute, they were back inside the empty sheriff's office, automatically moving toward the darkened corner office they had worked in throughout the day.

Dropping the heavy bag on the floor, Rossi turned to face JJ. It had not escaped his attention that she was still holding onto his hand, her grip just as tight as his. The same look was on her face as before, and he knew that he would tell her things that night that he had never shared before.

JJ watched as he seemed to be considering his next words carefully, his jaw clenching periodically. Not able to stop herself, she reached her free hand up to his face, running her fingers against the taut muscles. "David, you don't have to answer the question if you don't want to."

"Yeah, I do." Looking around him, his eyes adjusting to the dark, he made out the outline of a small sofa against the wall beside them. Sidestepping, he pulled her with him, settling them both against the surprisingly comfortable cushions.

There was just enough moonlight coming through the blinds of the window for him to see her face again as she turned her entire body to face him. For a brief moment, he wondered about how she had phrased her question. Most people wanted to know why he made the decisions he had made during the standoff. Others were more interested in the sensationalistic aspect, painting it as a modern day David and Goliath. But his mind reminded him that she has specifically asked about HIM, not about everything else.

Leaning his head back against the top of the sofa, he watched her do the same, her cheek pressed into the upholstery. Stretching his legs out in front of him, he watched her face closely as he said, "You asked what Ruby Ridge did to me. Ruby Ridge caused me to realize that not every point of view needs to be considered when things that you hold dear are at stake. It also taught me that hindsight is not always twenty-twenty when you live in a revisionist society."

This was a David Rossi that she never expected to see, never in a million years. She had expected anger or bitterness, but not bewilderment or sadness. She smiled softly, trying to keep her face neutral. "That's fairly cryptic for one AM in the morning."

"Trust me, Jennifer, what happened at Ruby Ridge is fairly cryptic for any time of the day or night." He shook his head slowly, his eyes flashing in the darkness. "I may not have been the one who fired the actual shot, but it sure as hell felt like it. That sharpshooter acted on my orders and followed the chain of command. And the government that I trusted, that I invested my life in helping, didn't seem to see things the same way."

Those words hung in the air for countless minutes as her mind processed not only the information but the emotion behind it. She knew that he was waiting on her to say something, and she finally asked the one question that she was fairly certain she already knew the answer to. "If you could, would you change your decision?"

Rossi laughed shortly, no humor behind his actions. "What do you think, Jennifer?"

Ah, there was the sarcasm she had been expecting. It wasn't as strong as usual, but there was enough of it in his voice, and she saw the beginning of a smirk cross his face. She realized that there was far more to be discussed about the topic, but tonight was not the night to deal with it all.

Tightening her fingers against his, she felt him respond by pulling her slightly closer until their hands were trapped between their almost touching legs. Doing her best to ignore the rising emotions that were trying to make themselves known, she smiled as she answered, "I think you'd make the same call, knowing that casualties are a part of war, even innocent casualties. You would give the same order, David, knowing that there would be death, because it would mean that other lives would be saved."

This time, his laughter was genuine, if a bit sad, and she knew it. He leaned his head closer as he whispered, "You know, you're pretty perceptive for one AM in the morning."

Their joined hands were now pressed against her waist, and he felt her Blackberry vibrate at the same time she did. Their eyes quickly met, and her smile seemed to be forced as she said softly, "That'll be Emily. I'm late getting back to the room."

JJ reached for her phone as it vibrated again, and he listened as she greeted Emily and assured the other agent that she was fine. He wanted to smile as he heard her say that she was perfectly safe and that she could take care of herself.

Ten minutes ago, David Rossi would have doubted that statement. Now, he wasn't so sure anymore. His foundations were shaking, and she seemed to be the one primarily in charge of making that happen.

Finishing the phone call, certain that she had convinced Emily not to send out a search party, she looked at the man sitting next to her. Just ten short days ago in Texas, this was the man that she would have gladly thrown under a moving bus. Part of her couldn't truly comprehend everything that had happened. The other part was encouraging her to ignore everything and just focus on the present. So she wasn't really surprised at the words she heard him ask.

"So, Jennifer. Where do we go from here?"


	8. Chapter 8

I owe a great deal of thanks to Tracia for her help! Also, thanks to everyone who has been reading and reviewing. I appreciate your comments!

**Mid-Ep, 3.07, Identity**

**Somewhere in Montana**

In his seventh book, published almost three months ago, Rossi stated, with great authority, that an unknown subject would experience a sense of euphoria only upon the final completion of his criminal act. He expostulated that a serial murderer, for example, could find excitement only when the process was complete. His words, firmly committed to black and white, were taken to be the final authority by many who devoted their lives and careers to following in his footsteps.

As he watched Jennifer's eyes flash in the darkness, his question still hanging in the air between them, he suddenly realized that he might have been hasty in his thoughts on that subject. Damn it, he was going to have to issue a revision, and he truly hated doing that. Truly hated it.

And why was he thinking this? Because he had just abruptly comprehended, with more than a bit of chagrin, that the process might bring just as much exhilaration as the final event. Prior to this moment, he would have staked his professional reputation on the fact that the completion of the hunt was far more thrilling that the development of the hunt. Three marriages and multiple short-term relationships, along with the requisite interviews with mass murderers, had contributed to this belief.

But somehow, someway, this petite blonde had managed to completely change his long-held belief system. Chalk it up to an emotional release or blame it on just being in Montana, where hunting was a religious obligation. Rossi wanted the hunt as much as he wanted to catch her.

***********

Multiple thoughts went through JJ's head, quick as lightning, as she mulled over his question. For a moment, she wondered if it was possible to experience sensory overload to the point that one's brain could truly be short-circuited. She seriously doubted it, but she needed something to blame for her inability to formulate an answer. Maybe the adrenaline rush was finally leaving her and the fatigue was coming back.

And, damn it, the man apparently had unwavering focus when he wanted. His eyes had not failed to keep her as his center of attention. And, somehow over the last few minutes, he had managed to magically remove those last few inches that had been between them. She was sitting next to Houdini, but she was fairly certain he wasn't going to disappear.

She finally answered, deciding that she was spiking the ball back into his court. "Where do YOU think we're going from here, David?"

"Ah, answering a question with another question. An excellent stall tactic." His deep voice held a hint of a smile, and she would have sworn in a court of law that he might have sounded impressed for just a moment.

JJ's reply was quick and smooth. "Or perhaps an equally excellent method of obtaining more information to make an informed decision."

Rossi did laugh this time, softly in the dark, at both her tone and her answer. "Point taken. But I believe that I asked first, Jennifer." Pulling their joined hands across his thighs, he grabbed her hand with his free one, taking the opportunity to place his newly freed arm around her.

She didn't allow herself to analyze the situation as she started to slowly settle against him. The room grew darker for a moment as the moon apparently slid behind a stray cloud, and she sighed softly as her eyes adjusted to the change. "Is it acceptable to say that I don't know where I want this to go?"

"Perhaps." He frowned for a moment, hearing the fatigue that had entered her words in the last sentence. Burying his hand in her hair, he slowly stroked her neck, feeling her shiver for a bare moment before she snuggled tighter against him. "Are you at least in agreement that there is somewhere for us to go?"

Her head slowly nodded against his shoulder, and Rossi smiled again into the darkness. In less than a minute, he felt her collapse completely against him, and he tightened his arm around her, not the least bit sleepy himself. Self-analysis may have never been his strong suit, but he was aware enough of his own behavior to know that no one who knew him would believe what was happening. Hell, he barely believed it himself.

David Rossi was falling in love with Jennifer Jareau. And he was actually enjoying it.

**************

Anna Monroe, seasoned secretary for the entire sheriff's office and busy body extraordinaire, was normally not an early riser, but she was smart enough to realize that these were not normal times in small town, Montana. Arriving at the log building that held their office at the unheard hour of 5 AM, she was fairly certain that she would be the first one in that morning. The murder cases had overwhelmed their small department, and she was bound and determined to get ahead of the chaos for at least a few moments.

Slipping into the dark offices, she avoided turning on the lights as she made her way through well-known pathways to her desk. Slipping out of her coat, she turned to hang it on the hook on the wall, stopping suddenly at what she saw through the open doorway next to her.

Stretched out on the overstuffed sofa in the next office were two people, and she would have sworn that the young woman looked just like Goldilocks. Her hair was fanned out across the dark shirt of the bearded man who was holding her tightly, as if he was afraid she might escape.

Anna recognized them both as two of the federal agents that had invaded their office yesterday. Smiling to herself, she carefully closed the door that separated the offices, humming a soft tune as she started making coffee and preparing for her day.

Ah, young love, she thought. What a beautiful sight.


	9. Chapter 9

Okay, my little chickadees, here's the next installment. I really have to thank Tracia…she's been talking me down from the ledge, and I couldn't do this without her. Thanks to everyone for all of your reviews! They make me write faster!

**Mid-ep for 3.08 Lucky**

**Somewhere in Florida**

David Rossi had never met a rule that couldn't be broken. He often considered it great sport to explore exactly how many ways and in how many different fashions a specific regulation, ironclad or not, could be controverted. From speed limits to serial killers, he excelled in stepping outside of the painted lines into the unknown and the untested. In his not-so-humble opinion, he regarded rules as confining, the rigors of a repressed society or the result of an inane bureaucracy.

Jennifer Jareau, however, was not in the habit of openly flaunting the rules. Accepting that boundaries were often in place for a reason, she tried to work inside the limits. She might, on occasion, allow the line between right and wrong to be blurred, but she didn't make a habit out of it. And she might, on occasion, push the confines as much as possible just to see how far they would stretch, but she very rarely broke the regulations with malicious intention.

Until now.

JJ was fairly certain that she was falling in love with her supervisor. The FBI definitely had rules against THAT.

************

Rossi could see the benefits of having one's own private jet, and he wasn't referring to the ease of travel that it afforded the BAU team. No, what was most beneficial to him was the fact that he could sit in leather-seated comfort and stare at a beautiful blonde as long as he wanted, and no one would think anything of it.

It helped that the team was scattered throughout the cabin of the jet, most of them asleep or desperately trying to get there. The case in Florida had been emotionally trying on all of them, himself included. A homicidal maniac who blamed his cannibalistic urges on other-worldly evil influences usually wasn't conducive to creating a positive life-force moment. Then to find out what their killer had done to one of the bodies….almost too much darkness to comprehend, even for someone like him who had seen and heard almost everything.

Which is why he was just content to just stare at JJ, her blonde hair visible over the top of the front seat. She was beauty and light, peace and serenity, all wrapped up in one package.

Rossi did not consider himself to be a romantic, not by any stretch of the imagination. And who could blame him? His first marriage had been a mistake, the dangers of youth mixed with family expectations. His second marriage didn't survive his then-wife's multiple affairs, no matter how beautiful she had been. His third marriage had been a well-sprung trap specifically aimed at separating him from his growing fortune. Thankfully, he quickly recognized this and escaped, grateful for an iron-clad pre-nup, but not without a few scars along the way. Those scars had calloused quickly, and the shell around him had grown deep and hard. Until recently.

JJ knew Rossi was watching her, and she let him, keeping her eyes closed as she curled her legs up in the seat. Her instincts told her that he would make his move before long, and she had learned over the past week to trust those instincts when it came to David Rossi. They were flying below the radar, or at least that's what she fervently hoped.

She was right. Feeling the seat next to her dip slightly, she smiled, her eyes still closed. She had deliberately chosen the seat in the corner that faced away from the rest of the team, anticipating this moment.

His whisper was low against her ear, the dull roar of the airplane helping to conceal. "I know you're awake, Jennifer."

Just as quietly, she whispered back, her eyes still closed. "And how would you know that, David? You've been busy sharing your words of wisdom with Morgan."

"Oh, I've not been too busy to know where you are and what you're doing." Rossi stretched his legs out in front of him, quietly raising the armrest between them. Turning his face towards her, he smiled as her eyes opened slowly, staring at him in the darkened cabin. "You okay?"

She smiled sadly at his question, lowering her eyes slightly, having expected it ever since they left Florida. "I'm fine."

His eyes narrowed at her words, noticing the change in her facial features and the tone of her voice. "In case you've forgotten, Jennifer, you can't lie to a profiler."

Her eyes closed again, her voice still low. "In case you didn't notice, David, I just did."

Rossi's fingers firmly grasped hers, and she let his hand wrap hers, feeling his strength. "Talk to me, Jennifer."

JJ had no doubt when she opened her eyes that she would be staring directly into his. She was right. Barely whispering this time, she hedged her answer, hoping to stall him. "It's just been a long few days and a rough case."

"Yes, it has. But you've had longer days before, and you've had rougher cases." Pulling their joined hands, he tucked her slightly closer to his body until their shoulders touched. "I've read your case files, Jennifer. I know what the BAU's done over the past few years. Tell me what's made this one different."

Like most well-rounded college graduates, JJ had completed the mandatory psychology classes, and she recognized his technique. Hell, a high school sophomore could see through him…and he called himself a master profiler. But she also realized that sooner or later, she would share with him. Might as well be sooner. The man could be relentless when he wanted to be. "It's the whole community cannibalism thing, I guess. It wasn't enough for the unsub to commit the crime himself. He had to involve an entire population of decent people in his crime. People who were just wanting to help suddenly found themselves committing the same horrible offense against nature. It's just wrong."

"All unsubs are wrong in their own way. This one went over the line in a way that we don't normally see, blurring the already blurred lines even further."

Her fingers tightened against his as she asked, "Isn't that what we're doing, David?"

"If we are, does that bother you?" Rossi asked evenly, keeping his eyes intently on hers. He could see the emotions playing just below the surface, and he waited patiently for her answer. Throughout their entire time in Florida, they had barely had a moment to speak to each other outside of the case, rarely alone. He had been expecting this question ever since those days in Montana, and he wanted to know her answer.

"Not any more." She shook her head slightly, blond hair shifting against his shoulder. "I just need some sense of what's happening and how this works. I need to know the rules, I guess."

"Then we need to talk." Once again, he focused on her face, his next words low but sure. "Come home with me tonight, Jennifer."


	10. Chapter 10

Once again, I am unbelievably grateful to Tracia for her advice and her willingness to listen to me moan and whine. If you aren't reading her story "Learning to Love," then you have missed the best epic JJ/Rossi out there. I appreciate everyone who is reading and reviewing. Please let me know what you are thinking!

**Post Ep for 3.08 Lucky**

**Somewhere over Florida**

"I can't." JJ's words came quickly, with a touch of remorse. She smiled softly, her eyes never leaving his.

Lord, she could get lost in his eyes. Jennifer Jareau prided herself on being the type of woman who did not give into daydreams, but over the past week, she had found herself drifting off into deep contemplation about what she saw just hiding beneath the surface. If this kept up, she was going to have to wear a rubber band on her wrist to snap herself back into reality. Like now.

Rossi had to admit, she caught him by surprise, and that rarely happened in his world. His response was quick and blunt, "Yes, you can."

Okay, that tone definitely brought her mind back to the situation at hand. Jerking her head, JJ felt her eyes narrowing at his response. "No, David, I really can't."

He took a deep breath, his eyes never leaving her face. This was not going as he had planned. "What's stopping you?"

JJ sighed as she tightened her fingers around his, smiling as he immediately responded by pulling her even closer. "I promised Garcia I would meet her for coffee following her date tonight. She's a little on edge, and wanted to have the time to decompress and talk through the past few days. Apparently our boy Morgan's been giving her a hard time.

Rossi carefully inspected her eyes, looking for anything that would lead him to believe she wasn't telling the truth. Part of him believed her, but the other part, the part that always won, wanted to push her. "What if her date has other plans for her evening? Would you come then?"

"Probably not, David." Again, she shook her head softly, and he watched her hair softly swish against her cheek.

She hesitated for a moment, watching his jaw clench slightly, then blurted out the one thought that was in her head. "Do you realize that we've never even kissed yet?"

"Oh, yes, Jennifer, I am clearly aware of that fact. Trust me." His laugh was short and still very quite in the airplane cabin, not drawing attention to their private conversation. He knew there was more to her answer, and he felt the urge to shake her out of whatever mood she was dealing with. Leaning next to her ear, he whispered seductively, "But

we've already slept together."

Her eyes widened as she comprehended his words, feeling them against her skin as much as she heard them. Her mind immediately returned to that moment in Montana when she had awakened next to him. Darkness had surrounded them, and the smell of freshly brewing coffee had invaded her brain. His arms had tightened around her when he felt her stir, and she had been content to just lie next to him, which had surprised her to no end. A million thoughts had crossed her mind, but none of them took precedence over just being held by him. And that bothered her, then and now.

But this was the present, and they were surrounded by their team members on a government-funded plane, not hidden away in some out-of-the-way darkness. Glancing down, she laughed softly, self-consciously, "Not in that sense, and you know it, David Rossi."

"Look, Jennifer, ever since I woke up holding you on that God-awful sofa in Montana, I've known that my life was changing." Keeping his head next to hers, he pulled her hand, forcing her to move just a little bit closer. "I normally don't respond well to those types of feelings. Hell, I normally run thirty miles in the other direction at those types of feelings. I think you feel the same way. Am I right?"

Not bothering to use words, JJ just shook her head, slightly shocked at the honesty that she heard in his words. No matter how much she learned about this man, she would never ceased to be amazed when he truly opened up to her.

He continued, his voice strong against her ear. "But neither one of us seems to be running right now. Am I right again?

"You know you're right. We both realized in Montana that whatever this was, whatever was happening between us, that it means something." JJ took a deep breath, knowing that she really wanted to just throw caution to the wind and let herself go completely. But she wouldn't. She couldn't. "I need to take this slow, David. Just like I said earlier, I need to know the rules. Can you understand that?"

Something in her voice made him check his next words very carefully, and he took a moment before he responded. Recognizing easily that she was fighting to maintain control of the situation, he suddenly remembered the few missing pieces in her history. Something or someone had forced her into this position, and he knew that he could easily push her away at this exact moment.

Forcing himself to smile softly, he nodded slowly, keeping his voice even and calm as he answered, "Yeah, I can understand that."

She just smiled up at him, letting her head slowly rest on his shoulder for the barest of seconds as he ran his thumb across their joined hands. Wanting to just close her eyes and let him hold her while she slept, she knew that it wasn't possible, at least not in their current situation.

Hearing a stirring behind them, JJ pulled her head back, knowing he had recognized the same noise. Smiling sadly, she pulled her hand away, not meeting his eyes as she shifted her body back into her seat, settling against the far side.

Watching her actions, Rossi wanted to frown, but he realized the predicament they were in. He didn't like it, but he knew that this was not the time or the place for their relationship to become public knowledge. He lowered the armrest back between them, allowing the separation to easily fall back into place. But before she moved away completely, he leaned over, whispering in her ear so that only she could hear.

"Know this one thing, Jennifer. I'm not going anywhere, and I don't plan on giving up."

JJ's smile was genuine this time, and she met his gaze with the same direct force he was using, her response quick and clear. "I wouldn't expect anything less, David."


	11. Chapter 11

_Thanks to everyone for your reviews! You make me write faster. Again, Tracia, you've been a rock! Thanks!_

**Mid-Ep for 3.09 Penelope**

**Quantico, Virginia**

David Rossi wasn't accustomed to hearing the word "no" on a regular basis. Looking and acting like he did, he very rarely encountered opposition to his plans. From professional to personal, his choices were clear and concise, and he expected others to follow his chain of reasoning with little or no objection.

Of course, not everyone else agreed with his point of view. One of his sisters still called him a control-freak, and two of his ex-wives definitely used far worse descriptions, but he was not deterred. This method had not failed him.

But times, they were a'changing. For the first time in his adult life, Rossi was actively considering the opinions and actions of another person, and it was disconcerting, to say the least. He was letting JJ take control. Well, at least partial control.

These thoughts filled his mind as he stepped into his kitchen, kicking the back door closed behind him as he easily deactivated the alarm system. His long legs eating up the space, he crossed through the darkened room, heading toward the back hallway and his office. Dropping his briefcase and cell phone on the desk, he hesitated, staring at his closed laptop, knowing he needed to start work on the next chapter of his book. But his mind was incapable of processing any more thoughts about psychotic serial killers and their possibly equally psychotic families. At least not until he dealt with the other thoughts that were crowding his head.

Moving toward the bedroom, he knew what he had to do. This night had definitely not gone as he had planned, but he wasn't the type to cry over spilled milk. Grimacing, he remembered his thoughts about wanting the hunt as much as catching her. Damn, had he really thought that? He'd have to seriously reconsider those feelings if something didn't happen soon.

Grabbing his running shoes, he quickly changed clothes, slipping into his jacket as he went through the kitchen and out the back door. His feet knew his property as well as his mind did, and he trusted that he could lose himself in a few miles of hard road. Maybe then he could consider everything else.

*******************

JJ sat with her back against the hospital wall, fighting the urge to follow in Hotch's footsteps as he paced against the linoleum. Her phone held tightly in her right hand, she willed it to ring, as if her mindpower alone could cause such a thing.

As soon as Hotch had told her that Garcia had been shot, she had forced her emotions to completely shut down, depending on conditioning to focus on the situation at hand. Riding in the SUV with her Unit Chief, she had kept her voice as calm as possible while she called the team members, speaking to Emily and Reid, but leaving messages for Reid and Rossi.

Those messages were what were bothering her now. Yes, Morgan should definitely be here, especially considering his strange relationship with Garcia, but she could deal with him later. But David not returning her call, now that was a horse of a different color. A part of her mind, the part that tried to run away with crazy, incomplete, off-the-wall musings, was telling her that she was being ignored on purpose because of what she had told him earlier.

She told herself over and over that she didn't need him to protect her, and she told herself over and over that she didn't need him to support her. She was an accomplished, professional woman with highly-demanded skills, and she had proven her worth in the past. But her mind kept whispering, over and over, that she needed to call him again. This was Garcia that had been shot, and her mind was playing tricks on her, trying to mix her past with her present.

If this was the way a relationship with him was going to be, then damn him, she should have killed him when she had the chance in Texas.

Her mind was still considering those options by the time she recognized that her Blackberry was vibrating. Grabbing the phone, she quickly checked the display, letting out a breath she hadn't even realized she was holding when she saw his name.

***********

After a long and hard forty minutes, spent mostly trying to avoid rocks in his path, Rossi finally made his way back to his kitchen, grabbing a bottle of water from the fridge as he headed toward his home office.

His body was sufficiently exhausted, but his mind was still in fifth gear as he collapsed in his chair. Reaching for his briefcase, he glanced at his cell phone, eyes narrowing as he saw the number of missed calls.

A few clicks showed him that he had missed seven phone calls. Seven phone calls in forty minutes at this time of night usually meant that something was wrong somewhere in the world. A few more clicks provided some missing pieces to the puzzle as he realized that all seven calls had come from his Jennifer.

A smile crossed his face as he interpreted this information, wondering if his hopes were about to become reality. Maybe, just maybe, she changed her mind.

Not bothering to listen to the voicemails, he immediately dialed her number, and waited patiently for her to answer.

Her voice was the first signal that this was not going to be a positive phone call. He frowned as he heard her slightly frantic "Thank God."

Shifting the phone to the other ear, he replied, the smile on his face slowly dropping by the moment. "Well, that's not your usual greeting, is it? I'd hate to think that you answer all of your calls like…"

He stopped talking as her voice cut him off, her words quick. "David, you need to get to GW Hospital now. Please."

Standing up, the smile long gone, he was already moving toward his bedroom before his words came out of his mouth. "Jennifer, slow down and tell me what's wrong. Are you okay?"

"I'm fine. I'm fine." He heard her voice break for a moment, and thought to himself that she was far from fine. Her words continued coming through the phone before he had a chance to comment. " It's Penelope. She's been shot."

He stopped moving, standing stock still for a bare second as he asked, surprised, ""Penelope? Penelope Garcia? Our technical analyst Garcia?"

"Yeah." Her one word answer hung in the air between them as he forced his mind to move back into gear. He could hear her breathing through the phone, and he wondered how close to the edge she was.

"Okay, Jennifer. It's going to be okay." Grabbing his comfortable jeans from the footboard of his bed, he spoke softly while changing. "I'll be there as quickly as possible."

"You promise?"

Now that bothered him. Over the past weeks, he had never heard her voice like that, not even when facing death, serial killers, and psychotic criminals. She sounded almost lost, and that was not an emotion that he would normally associate with Jennifer Jareau.

"I promise, Jennifer." Forcing a smile into his voice, Rossi answered, calmly and surely as he grabbed his keys and headed back out into the darkness once again. "I promise."


	12. Chapter 12

**Mid-Ep for 3.09 Penelope**

**Quantico, Virginia**

Forcing herself to focus on the needs at hand, JJ kept her mind and her hands busy for the next half hour, calling everyone who needed to know about Penelope and actively annoying the nurses for any information. Speaking to Hotch, she found out that he had already informed Strauss, and JJ fervently hoped that the woman would not feel the need to make an appearance at the hospital. That was one thing that JJ was certain she could not survive. Not tonight.

In her heart of hearts, Jennifer Jareau was not a patient woman. Yes, she presented a calm, serene appearance to the outside world, her peaceful words and mannerisms often considered to be a benefit to any situation. But she knew herself well, and she knew that that appearances could be deceiving. She didn't know how much more she could handle or how long she could wait for information about Garcia. And she didn't know how much longer she could wait on David.

She was talking to Emily and Reid when she saw Rossi walking down the hallway toward them. Meeting his eyes, she stifled the urge to run screaming into his arms. Just seeing him and knowing he was there caused a marked difference in her emotions at that moment. She could make it. He smiled at her, questions in his eyes, before turning to Hotch and asking about Penelope.

JJ heard Reid report about not getting through to Morgan, and she heard Emily curse at the information. But she compelled herself to focus on her friend who was currently having her heart cut open, her life hanging in the balance. That was enough to handle right now.

Rossi kept his eyes on her as much as possible, watching her body language as much as he listened to her words. She let Emily offer whatever comfort possible, but it apparently wasn't enough. After about a half an hour of not being able to touch her, he decided that something needed to be done. The nurses had just informed them that the surgery would last at least two or three more hours, and he knew that things were only going to get worse before they got better.

Standing up from the extremely uncomfortable hospital seat, he walked over to where Hotch was pacing, a well-worn path already engraved in the floor. He waited for the younger man to stop, then said evenly, "It looks like we're going to be here for a while. Why don't I go downstairs and get us all some coffee? Maybe some food too."

Hotch nodded slowly, his eyes still looking down at the dull green floor. "Sounds good. You need help?"

Rossi glanced over his shoulder, making sure that JJ was still sitting by herself on the end seat. "I'll take JJ. She can bring me up to date on what we'll need to do on the communications end."

Just nodding, Hotch resumed his previous pathway, and Rossi wondered if the man even realized what he was doing. But, try as he might, Rossi could only deal with one person at a time, and in his way of thinking, JJ definitely came first tonight. He still remembered exactly how her voice had sounded on the phone tonight, and he needed to get to the bottom of that.

Turning back toward his gathered team, he stepped next to JJ, waiting for her to look up at him. He smiled at her quickly as he said, loud enough for the entire team to hear, "Come on, JJ. You and I are going to get this crew some liquid caffeine and sugar-filled nourishment."

Her blue eyes met his, and he watched as understanding suddenly dawned on her face. She nodded as she stood up quickly, grabbing her bag as she walked past him, turning around the corner to reach the elevator at the end of the hallway.

Stopping in front of the elevator doors, she reached out to punch the button to signal the car when she felt his hand wrap around her waist. Jerking her head up, she searched his face, confusion in her eyes. He smiled softly at her, his words quiet in the otherwise busy hallway. "Trust me, Jennifer."

Nodding slowly, she allowed him to lead her past the elevator toward the emergency staircase door. Pushing the door open, his arm still wrapped around her waist, he pulled her with him, leading her down the first flight of steps to the landing, where he stopped.

Feeling his arm wrap tighter around her waist, she let her body settle against his as he leaned against the concrete wall, her bag dropping loudly against the bottom step. His other arm quickly came around her, and for the first time that night, she actually felt like things might be all right.

When she had time to think about things, she was definitely going to ask herself some serious questions, starting with when exactly he had become her source of strength. But she had a feeling that tonight was not going to be that night, and she was content to just let him hold her. She could deal with things later, when she was thinking straight.

His heart beat against her ear as she rubbed her cheek against his jacket. Feeling his hand grab hers, she laced her fingers with his, letting him settle their joined hands against her shoulder.

Rossi frowned as he felt the chill in her hands. Tightening his hand against hers, he murmured, "Your hands are cold, Jennifer."

Nodding against his chest, she whispered, "I know. I'm cold all over."

Unwrapping his arms from her, he reluctantly let go of her hand just long enough to take off his jacket and wrap it around her shoulders. Sliding his hands underneath her hair, he gently pulled it out from beneath the collar, intending to let it fall over her shoulders.

But that changed when he felt her shiver.

It was the touch of his hands against her neck that triggered the response. She felt her eyes widening as she stared into his, and there was no doubt in her mind that she wanted everything that she saw. Fairly certain that he was in agreement, she watched his eyes mirror everything that was passing through her thoughts. Suddenly she realized that she had been right all those weeks ago. He really could read her mind.

But none of that concerned her anymore. All she knew for the next few seconds, maybe minutes, was that time might have stood still and the earth might have stopped rotating. Of course, she could have been wrong, but she would never know.

Because all that mattered to her at that immediate moment was that David Rossi was kissing her. And she didn't want him to stop.


	13. Chapter 13

Thanks to everyone who is still reading! I so appreciate your reviews…they help me write faster! As always, I owe a debt of gratitude to Tracia, who allows me to invade her precious time with my ramblings, doubts and questions. This one's for you, Tracia!

**Mid-Ep for 3.09 Penelope**

**Quantico, Virginia**

David Rossi had kissed a woman before. He had kissed many women before. Hell, to be honest, he had kissed multitudes of women before. From his ex-wives to a few one-night stands along the way, he was familiar with a woman's body, and he prided himself on knowing exactly what to do when he came near one.

But the moment his lips touched Jennifer Jareau's mouth, he knew that he was deeply out of his league. In fifty-two years of existence upon this planet, he had never experienced anything even close to what he was now.

He knew that JJ was battling powerful emotions. He knew that she was vulnerable. But he also knew that she was fighting to maintain control, and she was losing badly.

But he WAS David Rossi, and he wasn't accustomed to losing a fight. He wasn't about to start now, and he wasn't going to let her either.

For her part, JJ had decided that yes, the world had completely fallen off it's axis and she had suddenly entered an alternate universe where nothing in her life made sense. All reasonable thought suddenly escaped her, but she truly didn't care. Part of her mind realized that she should be focusing on her closet friend, who was lingering at death's door just a few floors above her. But her heart suddenly absolved her of all guilt, and all she cared about was the unbelievable, indescribable feeling that was invading her body. All because of this man who was kissing her like there was no tomorrow. Lord, please let there be no tomorrow!

Rossi felt her hand suddenly fist in the neck of his shirt, gripping as she pulled him closer, and he couldn't stop the smile that crossed his lips. Leaning further back against the cold concrete wall, he pulled her tighter as her other hand slid around his neck, insistent, her mouth fighting his for control. She could try, he thought, but she wasn't going to succeed, not this time.

Deliberately, Rossi drew back, his hand cupping her neck as he angled her head, feeling her hair swish against his knuckles. His smile increased, exponentially, as he felt her moan against his lips. The pressure against his neck increased, her hand insistent that he move closer, and he obliged for a few seconds before he pulled back once again.

Breaking the kiss slowly, Rossi swept his fingers against her neck softly, his smile turning slightly predatory as he felt her body shiver once again. Pulling his head back, he just watched her face, content to take in her flushed cheeks and swollen lips. But more than anything, he wanted to see her eyes.

Dropping his forehead to hers, he whispered hoarsely, barely trusting his voice, "Jennifer, open your eyes."

Her brain heard the words, but she knew it was going to take a second for her body to comprehend and respond. After all, a girl could only do so many things at once, and she was perfectly fine focusing all of her energies on just learning to breathe again. Finally forcing her eyelids to obey, she stared up into his face, his eyes mere inches from his, and she asked the first words that popped into her mind. "Why Jennifer?"

His hand continued rubbing her neck as he asked softly, "What?"

She could feel him pulling her closer, his hand pressing solidly against her lower back. Letting her body fall against his, she said again, "Why do you call me Jennifer?"

Smiling, he dropped a kiss against her forehead as he whispered, "It's your name, isn't it?" For the rest of his life, he would remember exactly how her body felt, flush against his. He no longer noticed the hard wall behind him, his entire focus on the soft, warm woman willingly pressing herself against him.

Her forehead bumped against his as she nodded, her eyes still staring into his. "Yes, but…"

"But you want to know why I use it when we're alone." Settling harder against the cold concrete wall, Rossi tightened his hand on her neck, not missing the flash of light that crossed her eyes at that exact moment. Smirking to himself, he realized that he had definitely found on of Jennifer Jareau's weak spots. It was time to find a few more and help her find her strength.

Keeping his voice even and controlled, he asked, "Do you remember yelling at me during the case in Texas a few weeks ago?"

JJ felt her cheeks start to redden as that entire scene played out in her mind. Moaning, she dropped her head to his chest, feeling his chuckle vibrate against her cheek. Did she have to remember those moments? Almost certain that her brain had buried that information behind an unbreachable firewall out of self-preservation, she fervently hoped that those memories were deeply entrenched in some far-flung corner of her thought processes, never, ever to be recalled again. Ever.

"I'll take that as a yes." Laughing softly, Rossi rested his chin against her hair, not missing the fact that her arms had wrapped around his waist. He was going to enjoy this, and he was going to make sure that she snapped out of whatever mood she was in while he was at it. "You kept going full speed when I called you Agent Jareau, ignoring me like I was just a fly on the wall. Using JJ apparently threw fuel on your fire, and I wasn't about to commit that sin again. You only responded to me when I called you Jennifer. I figured if it would get your attention and make you shut up, then that was the name that I was going to use."

Oh no, he didn't. Pulling her head back slowly, she narrowed her eyes as she watched the smile growing on his face. Using her best public-relations voice, the one that she only used on recalcitrant reporters and annoying co-workers, she asked sweetly, "So you think I'll just shut up every time you call me Jennifer, huh?"

"There's been no evidence of it so far." His grin grew larger as he watched her eyes narrow, her blonde locks swinging sharply as she shook her head. Plowing forward, he kept his voice low as he murmured against her cheek, "But have no fear, I've found a far better way of shutting you up now, Jennifer."

"Of all the things I've ever heard in the world, David Rossi, this is…"

And once again, her world stood still and all rational thought left her mind, her entire focus on the man in front of her. Jennifer Jareau was kissing David Rossi, and she liked it.


	14. Chapter 14

**Mid-Ep for 3.09 Penelope**

**Quantico, Virginia**

When asked to describe Jennifer Jareau, most people, looking only at the superficial, might use such adjectives as beautiful or charming. Others, having had some exposure to her intellect, would consider the terms sharp or well-read to apply. But those who knew her well, those that she allowed into her inner circle, were well aware of the only word that truly described their friend. Those in the know knew that when they opened their dictionaries, a smiling picture of JJ was always posted right next to the definition for loyal.

When JJ claimed a friend, she claimed a friend for life. Her willingness to commit to the very idea of friendship was not an action that she took lightly, and on the flip side, she did not dissolve such relationships with ease. Yes, she had passing acquaintances, and yes, she had fleeting connections. But at the end of the day, her steadfast dedication to those that she considered to be her true family and friends knew no bounds, no matter what extenuating circumstances may seem to apply.

Which is why she was currently experiencing a minor crisis of faith. The one man that she had finally let into her life, the one man who apparently understood her in ways that she barely understood herself, was doing his dead-level best to dissuade her of her long-held loyalty for the woman she considered to be closer than a sister. And this man that she was currently in the process of falling in love with, who just happened to be her boss, was telling her that her friend and co-worker was not worthy of her faith. How dare he.

But Jennifer Jareau knew Penelope Garcia. She knew that her friend was eccentric, glib, and confident, not to mention the most gifted technological genius she had ever had the privilege of knowing. More than that, thought, JJ knew that her friend was just as trustworthy as she supposed her to be, having seen this proven multiple times in the past

David Rossi was wrong. And JJ was going to prove it.

***********

The last four days had been trying for the entire BAU team, especially their technical analyst. Medically, Garcia was improving every day, having been moved from the intensive care unit to a private room. But psychologically, her mind was still being held prisoner by a bullet that was no longer in her body. Thankfully, each day allowed new memories to surface, one by one.

Garcia wasn't the only member of the team feeling the stress, but she was the one who suffered the most. From Hotch on down, everyone was focusing on finding the man who dared to shoot the one member of the team who chose not to defend herself with a firearm. They were bound and determined to protect their friend, to bring her some form of justice, and it was putting them all on edge.

JJ knew that the pressure was building, and she didn't know how to find a release. Since that night at the hospital, she barely had a moment to think. Moving from their offices to the hospital, the team was sleeping in shifts, grabbing food when they could, and everything else was considered completely frivolous and unnecessary.

The only light in her dark tunnel had been the few hours each night that she closed her eyes and forgot about the real world. For the past three nights, JJ had slept either on the couch in her office or Rossi's office, the latter at his angry insistence last night when he realized she was still awake, her eyes literally crossing, at 3 AM.

Convincing him to actually rest with her, though, had taken all of JJ's negotiation skills, a few well-placed threats, and a tongue-in-cheek punchy promise that she would still respect him the morning. Rossi had not been amused, accusing her of avoiding sleep on purpose, but in the end, he had ended up holding her once again while she slept, albeit fitfully.

After four days, they were no closer to solving this case, and there was no end in sight.

***************************

Leaning against the wall outside her office, JJ sighed softly as she read the latest update from the ballistics lab. Nothing had changed, and no news was definitely not good news to her overworked mind. They needed a break badly, but none appeared to be on the horizon. Pushing back against the wall, she closed her eyes for the barest second, then straightened her shoulders. There was work to do, and she couldn't accomplish it just standing here in the hallway.

Walking toward the glass doors that would lead her into the bright chaos of the unit, she stopped for a second as she noticed the two dark haired men coming down the hallway, identical expressions on their faces. Years of a strong working relationship with Hotch had taught her to avoid confrontation when he was wearing that look, and she had a feeling that the same would go for Rossi, also. Her intuition was telling her that something had happened, and she desperately needed to know if it would help them find Penelope's shooter.

Watching as Hotch moved toward the elevator, not even stopping to greet her, JJ turned toward Rossi, reaching for the glass door at the same time he did. She forced her voice to remain calm and professional, even though her insides were bouncing. Nodding toward the elevator, she asked, "What's Hotch doing?"

Stopping beside her, Rossi answered, his eyebrows crinkled as he focused on the man in the elevator. "Right now, I'm guessing he's wishing that anybody else was the leader of this team."

JJ followed him into the unit, matching her steps with his as he headed toward the stairs, not failing to notice that his jaw was clenched tight. Passing empty desks, she tossed out at him, "Well, that's about as clear as mud. What are you talking about?"

Rossi glanced sideways, wishing he was not the one that had to tell her about the information he currently possessed. Hell, he'd rather be in Hotch's shoes, on his way to the hospital to place a valuable team member on suspension. But, no, he was going to have to deal with the situation at hand, God help him.

His knew that JJ would not act unprofessionally. The last four weeks had taught him to respect her expert skills, and he had no doubt that she would maintain composure and perform her job without fail, even under great stress and fatigue.

But he had learned a few things other things about JJ over the past four days, and he knew that this newly acquired information would play a greater part in her response. JJ thought of Penelope Garcia as a sister, and she would willingly sacrifice her own life in order to save her. He knew that first hand, having watched JJ almost fall over from lack of sleep and food while investigating this case.

And he was going to have to be the one to tell her that her friend was guilty of malfeasance.

He jerked his head toward his office, and she nodded, silently following him through the bullpen and up the metal steps. Rossi waited until they were behind his closed door and closed blinds before he leaned back against his desk, watching her pace in front on him.

The last four days had taught her a few things about the man standing in front of her, and she knew that he was just as exhausted as she was, if not more. He had invested all of his energies into finding Pen's shooter, and she respected him for that. But more than that, he had held her and comforted her when she didn't think she could keep going, and she relied on that strength to get her through. She trusted him in a way that she rarely trusted anyone, especially this quickly and this deeply.

Which is why she was a bit leery of what she saw in his eyes right then. He was looking at her with a mixture of concern and anger, and those were not two emotions that she wanted to deal with, especially together, especially right now.

Stopping mid-pace, she crossed her arms over her chest, feeling her shoulders tighten as she just stared at him. Finally, she said, her voice flat, "What is it, David? What aren't you telling me?"

His words were clipped, direct and to the point. "We've been ordered by Internal Affairs to stop working this case, effective immediately." Waiting for a moment, he let her process that information, closely watching her face, gauging her response. "And Penelope Garcia has been suspended from the FBI."

She wondered for a moment if maybe the lack of sleep and overload of coffee had finally caught up with her, because she knew that surely she was hallucinating. Looking Rossi straight in the eyes, she said, her voice deadly, "Surely you didn't say what you just said. Surely you didn't tell me that Garcia was being suspended."

Rossi kept his expression neutral, his voice calm but firm. "That's exactly what I said, Jennifer. The new technical analyst we brought in found an encrypted file on Garcia's computer, and they tell me that's against the rules."

Feeling her anger level rising rapidly, JJ grabbed the back of the chair in front of her, her knuckles turning white from the pressure. "So she had a locked file? That's grounds to throw away dedication and loyalty? Who in the hell made that decision?"

Ah, here was the fun part, Rossi thought cynically. Putting his hands down on the desk, he pushed himself up, propping his hip on the corner of the desk. "Hotch and I did, based on the rules of the internal affairs investigation."

"And why would you do such an asinine thing?" Jennifer felt all of her blood rush to her head, and she struggled to hear above the dull roar that suddenly invaded her ears. Shaking her head rapidly, as if to force away the distraction, she asked, her words cold, "And since when did you start following the rules, David?"

"Since Garcia started hiding things." Taking a deep breath, he focused on her eyes, forcing her to maintain contact with him. "She got shot, Jennifer. People don't get shot for no apparent reasons. You know that. I know that. Hell, the kids down the street at nursery school know that."

Shaking her head rapidly, JJ's fingers gripped the chairback even tighter, if that was possible. "Be that as it may, David, there's got to be a way around this. I refuse to believe that Garcia's done anything wrong. I know her, and she's just not that type of person."

"People change, Jennifer. Penelope Garcia is perfectly capable of changing just like anyone else." It was glaringly apparent to David Rossi that JJ did not believe a word he was saying. Watching her face, he saw her expressions move from stunned to disbelief, finally settling on steadfast determination. He had seen that look before, and he was well-aware of the actions that usually accompanied it.

"No. Not Penelope." She knew she was raising her voice, and she just didn't care. This was unbelievable, and she refused to just allow this to happen to her friend. "Not like you're saying. That's just not possible."

"Jennifer, it's been known to happen..."

"Don't, David. Don't try to give me the profiler answer right now." Straightening her shoulders, she looked into his black eyes, wanting to see something that would make her believe that he understood her, but she couldn't find it. Not this time. Turning toward the door, she forced herself to maintain a steady pace, instead of giving into her urge to run screaming from the building. Reaching the door, she touched the doorknob, then stopped.

Turning, JJ stared into his face, wanting him to know exactly how she felt. "You're wrong, David. And I'm going to prove it."


	15. Chapter 15

Again, I owe a debt of thanks to Tracia, who provided some great suggestions for this chapter. I appreciate everyone who is reading and reviewing! Reviews make me write faster, I promise.

**Mid-Ep for 3.09 Penelope**

**Quantico, Virginia**

Maybe it was fatigue or maybe it was just her emotions, but JJ would have sworn that the drive back to the BAU was one of the longest of her life. Settled in the back of the SUV, listening to Hotch and Rossi hash out the latest development in Garcia's shooting, all JJ wanted to do was close her eyes and forget that this day had even existed. That wasn't likely to happen, though, and she forced herself to at least pay attention to the conversation being held around her, responding and commenting enough to stay in the loop.

They had just left Morgan, Prentiss and Reid with Garcia at her apartment, all of them charged with reviewing the files that Garcia had flagged, hopefully finding a common link so that they could get an open door in this case. Please oh please, JJ thought, praying to whatever deity was listening, please let them find something. She wasn't sure that the team could handle another night like tonight, with a wild shooter on the loose, still trying to kill their technical analyst. Still trying to kill her friend.

Finally arriving back at the BAU, JJ was the first one out of the vehicle, quickly slamming the door behind her, heading through the parking garage toward the elevators. She knew that her emotions were playing close to the surface, and the sooner she could get to her office, the better.

But once again, fate had other plans, and she became an unwilling participant in its scheme. Hotch's phone rang as they were waiting on the elevator, and he stepped to the side to answer the call, waiving Rossi and her into the car.

Rossi was well aware of the woman standing beside him, and he was fairly certain that she was ignoring him on purpose, still holding him responsible just because he was doing his job. He sighed to himself, wondering if it was just four days ago that she was wrapped around him in a deserted stairwell, holding on to him for dear life. Hell, just last night she had fallen asleep in his arms once again. No matter how hard he tried, he wondered if he would ever understand this woman.

JJ heard him sigh, the noise obvious in the otherwise silent space, wanting to respond with one of her own. How could she be so aware of his presence, wanting him to be next to her, yet be furious with him at the same time? She needed space AND she needed him; she just couldn't determine which one she needed more. The elevator doors finally opened on the BAU floor, and, letting out a breath she hadn't even realized she had been holding, she stepped out of the enclosed car into open freedom.

Rossi watched her move quickly out of the elevator, and, his eyes narrowing, suddenly decided that this had gone on long enough. If for no other reason, he wanted her to deal with whatever emotion she was tightly suppressing before she went into a full-blown meltdown. Mindful of the people in the foyer around him, he kept his voice professional as he said, loud enough for her to hear him, "Agent Jareau, I think we need to discuss a few things about the case. Do you have a minute?"

That stopped her in her tracks. Well aware of what he was doing, she quickly analyzed her choices, deciding to fight this battle on her turf. Forcing her mouth to smile, she turned to face him, bearing in mind that they had an audience all around them. "Absolutely, Agent Rossi. Why don't you come to my office for a minute?"

He nodded tersely, following her down the short hallway, not failing to notice her stiff posture and clipped steps. Yep, she was still mad. This was going to be loads of fun, he thought cynically.

As soon as she heard him close the office door behind them, JJ turned immediately, staring up into his face as she ground out, her voice harsh with emotion. "You wanted to talk, Agent Rossi, so talk."

Crossing his arms over his chest, Rossi stared back down at her, taking a moment to fully examine her face, not at all surprised to see the dark circles sneaking through her expertly applied makeup. Keeping his voice as calm as possible, he said, almost pleasantly, "You're mad at me."

"Well, that's the understatement of the year." Shaking her head violently, her hair swishing against her neck, she took another step closer to him, her voice still heavy as she said, "You made an assumption this morning, David. A false assumption, I might add. A false assumption about our coworker and my friend."

Propping up against the closed door, Rossi forced himself to hold his emotions back as he defended his actions. "No, Jennifer, I went with my gut. It's what I do, and it works for me."

"You were so dead set on believing earlier that whatever was in that encrypted file was directly related to Garcia's shooting that you didn't stop to consider her as a person." JJ continued talking, ignoring his comments as she warmed to her topic. Taking another step closer, she felt her eyes narrowing as she watched his eyebrows crinkle. "Well, it didn't work this time. By encrypting that file, she was trying to protect us. To protect me. To protect you, David. It had OUR personal information in it, and she wasn't willing to risk OUR lives if it was breached. That's the type of person she is, and I trust her."

Close enough to punctuate her sentences with a finger punch to his chest, JJ suddenly found her hand encased in his, held tightly against his chest, his grip strong. She could almost feel his anger as he bluntly snapped out, "The locked file aside, you can't deny that there was something that Garcia was hiding from us, and that it may be directly related to her shooting. I think I proved that tonight when she admitted flagging those murder files."

Her eyes flashing, she snapped back, holding onto her control by a very thin margin. "By yelling at her? Did you have to treat her like that? She's not an uncooperative suspect who you've got in the hot seat, David. She's Garcia. She's a member of our team and my friend."

Clenching his free hand tightly, he ruthlessly answered, "Damn it, Jennifer, I won't apologize for doing what I think is best in this situation or any situation. And if it had been anybody but her, the rest of this team, you included, would have already done what I did tonight, and we might have gotten results sooner." Pulling a deep breath, Rossi stared into her eyes, his hand wrapping around hers even tighter as he pulled her closer. "Four days, Jennifer. Four damn days that we've been flying blind when we could have had this information."

"You don't think I know that? I know that we need every break we can get." Her face was mere inches from his, and she suddenly realized that she had once again allowed this man to invade her personal space just as easily as he had been invading her thoughts. Shaking her head, she opened her mouth, ready to continue her argument when she heard an insistent buzzing.

This time, it wasn't her Blackberry that so rudely interrupted one of their discussions, but rather his. His eyes not leaving hers, he reached into his pocket, grabbing the offending instrument and quickly answering.

Forgetting her anger for a moment, JJ watched his face for any expressions that might let her know if the call was helping their case or not, but he didn't give away anything.

Finally disconnecting, he placed the phone back into his pocket, and smiled tightly as he said, "That was Hotch. Those case files that Garcia flagged have a common denominator. I need to get to my office and help with the profile."

JJ nodded, moving to pull her hand away to allow him to leave, knowing that finding her friend's shooter was far more important than finishing an argument. "I'm just going to work in here for a while. Let me know if you need me."

But apparently, he had other plans for the next few seconds. His words were low in her ear as he refused to let go of her hand, instead pulling her even closer as he whispered directly into her ear, "Oh, trust me, Jennifer. I need you. I'm just waiting for you to decide how much you need me."

She sat at her desk, staring into space, focused on absolutely nothing for at least five minutes after he left her office. Finally forcing herself to pick up the open files that she had ignored for the past four days, she tried to lose herself in paperwork, but failed miserably.

Realization hit her suddenly, flooding her mind with unanswerable questions. When had he become her ideal of love? When had she allowed him to have such power in her life?

And the worst question of all came with a vengeance, pushing aside all coherent thought from her mind. When had she started needing him?


	16. Chapter 16

For those of you who are following this little story, this is my interpretation of the events that came at the end of 3.09 "Penelope." If you haven't watched this episode, check it out on DVDs or YouTube. As always, I owe a huge thanks to Tracia, who has been keeping me sane. Thanks to everyone who has been reading and reviewing.

Mid-Ep for "Penelope"

**Episode 3.09**

**Quantico, Virginia**

For the rest of her life, JJ would remember the exact moment that she heard her phone ring. When she was old and not-so-happily gray, surrounded by dark-haired grandchildren, she would remember that artificial chirping sound even when she couldn't remember her age. Muscle memory, triggered by stress, would recall the vibration of the instrument against her fingers, usually at the strangest times and with little to no provocation.

And the funny part was, if there could be a funny part to such a horrible event, was that she almost didn't answer the call. She almost let it go to voicemail, not wanting to deal with any interruptions. She almost ignored the display, thinking that if she didn't know who it was, then she wouldn't have to deal with anything else at that exact moment. She almost got another person killed. But this time, it was just almost.

**********

When the phone rang, JJ was deep into another nameless case file, one of many that filled up every nook and cranny of her office. Her mind was actually focusing on the particulars of the case, rather than remembering the so-called discussion she had with Rossi just a mere thirty minutes prior. She wasn't as good as Prentiss, but she could compartmentalize when she had to, and she couldn't allow her mind to drift to either Rossi or Penelope for a while.

The sharp, unexpected chirping knocked her out of her focus, causing her to frown for a second as she decided whether to answer it or not. Finally deciding that it could be important or about Garcia, she clicked the right buttons just in time to hear Morgan's voice, far more panicked than she thought possible. Listening intently, she felt her hands grow cold as the muscles in her upper back clenched uncontrollably. In less than ten seconds, she was out her door and headed toward a set of double glass doors.

JJ's steps were strong and measured as she slipped down the empty hallway of the FBI, fingers firmly gripping the cold metal of her weapon, dropping the safety mechanism as she racked the ammo into the chamber. Her mind completely on automatic, each breath steadily measured, she quickly recalled every tactic she had ever been taught as she replayed the information Morgan had given her. She knew that when she rounded the corner, that she could very well be face-to-face with a cold-blooded killer who was armed and decidedly dangerous. For all she knew, he could have already started shooting. Slamming unnecessary thoughts to the bottom of her mind, she refused to dwell on another fact that Morgan had shared: Rossi was in that room also, and the profile said that the Unsub would likely die shooting.

Jennifer Jareau coldly stepped behind the glass and raised her pistol, lining her sites on a man in a uniform as she deliberately wrapped her index finger around the trigger. And she squeezed.

**********************

If there was anything that David Rossi was certain of, it was that a shoot-out with a psychotic Unsub would never end well. Tonight was not the night that he wanted to put that theory into practice.

But he also realized that they had to keep the man inside the unit where the casualty count would be lower. As long as they contained him, then they could possibly contain the damage. And a part of him, the part that he desperately needed to ignore, reminded him that over and over that Jennifer's office was just steps down the hallway.

He allowed himself to be grateful that Jennifer was out of the line of fire at this exact moment, and in a split second, moved right back into negotiator mode. Out of the corner of his eye, he could see Hotch moving into the secondary shooter position, and Rossi shifted slightly, placing himself in the direct line of fire.

Words coming by rote, Rossi offered the uniformed killer options that everyone in the room knew, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that he wasn't going to take. Recognizing the escalation occurring right before his eyes, Rossi inched forward, his eyes narrowing as he searched for the minutest opportunity to put an end to this.

That's when he heard the glass crashing and watched the sheriff's deputy fall to the ground, immediately recognizing that the kill shot had come from outside the unit. And his gut told him immediately that that there was only one person who could have fired that shot. Jennifer.

*******************

JJ didn't move. Her hand dropped to her side, her gun still gripped tightly in her fingers, knuckles whitening. But she didn't move. Meeting Hotch's gaze and recognizing the shock that flashed across his eyes, she slowly forced herself to unlock her legs. But she didn't move. All of her energies were on slamming the door on the thoughts in her mind, ruthlessly forcing the long-forgotten images back into the locked closet where they belonged. Another shot, another dead body, another time. And she couldn't move then either.

That was how Rossi found her, stock still, grip deadly against her firearm. Glass crunching beneath his feet, he moved into her line of sight, immediately noticing her enlarged pupils, knowing she wasn't seeing him. Taking another step toward her, he kept his eyes on her face as he said, low and calm, "Jennifer."

Her eyes snapped to his immediately, and he watched as her pupils came back into focus, her face suddenly relaxing for the barest of moments. Watching the transformation, Rossi fought back the urge to touch her, not trusting himself to let her go if he did.

Slowly recognizing her surroundings, JJ forced herself to focus on the deep dark eyes in front of her, soaking the life that she could just feel from his body. He was alive. Her fingers just itched to wrap around him, needing his strength, needing whatever he could give her. Swallowing tightly, she finally felt like she could at least talk, even though movement was yet an option. She needed to know the answer to a very important question. "Is he dead?"

Nodding tightly, Rossi never let his eyes leave hers. "Yes. It was a perfect kill shot."

Tilting her head slightly, her blond hair shifting against her shoulder, JJ let out the deep breath that she hadn't even realized she had been holding. Penelope was safe now, and that was all that mattered. "Then it's over?"

"It's over, Jennifer. I promise, it's over." Rossi's voice was blunt against her ears, but his face belied the tone. If this was the comfort she needed at this moment, then he would provide her whatever she needed.

For a fleeting moment, JJ would have sworn that she saw something close to love cross his face, but she was certain she was wrong. It must have been the adrenaline coursing through her body that caused her to imagine such a thing.

Rossi watched her eyes widen for a moment, and wondered what she was thinking. But he didn't get the opportunity to ask, their private moment suddenly interrupted as Hotch moved into the view.

"Are you okay, Agent Jareau?" Hotch's voice was professional, but his eyes were kind.

JJ nodded her head once again, forcing herself to look at her Unit Chief as she consciously moved into professional mode, slowly moving her Glock to the holster at her waist. "Yes, sir. Is everyone safe?"

"Safe and accounted for." Mirroring her nod, Hotch answered, his eyes moving from the older man to the younger woman then back again. Straightening his shoulders, Hotch glanced toward the broken glass, his forehead crinkling as he took in the entire situation. "This nightmare is over, thank God."

The elevator doors opened at that exact moment, the security team finally arriving, late and now completely superfluous. Hotch's attention shifted to his ringing phone, and he stepped to the side, his focus on answering the questions of whoever was on the other line.

"I'm proud of you, Jennifer." Rossi watched as JJ's eyes shifted back to him, seeking his face as quickly as he sought hers. He kept his voice low, not wanting to be overheard by the sudden influx of people. "You made a perfect shot in and extremely difficult situation."

Her eyes narrowed as she heard his words, and even though she understood the sentiment behind them, she just couldn't accept them. Not even realizing she was speaking out loud, she whispered to herself, "I didn't do anything to be proud of. I killed someone again."

His face tightened as he heard the barely uttered words, sending his mind into overdrive. Having been required to read the personnel file of everyone on the team, he was certain that she had never even shot a suspect in the line of duty, let alone killed anyone. Or at least that's what he had thought until this very moment.

The look on her face let him know that she suddenly realized what she had said, and he didn't like the look of panic that was suddenly crossing her face. Keeping his voice even, he asked quietly, "Jennifer, is there something you need to tell me?"

JJ felt the dread rising in her face, and she knew that there was no way he would ever let her ignore what she had just said. Damn her mind. Damn her loose tongue. Surely she hadn't said that out loud, had she? Another glance at his face assured her that yes, she had. Shaking her head, she whispered, fighting to speak, her throat tight. "Not here."

His answer was quick, and she expected nothing less. "Then where?"

Whether the adrenaline rush finally faded or fatigue caught up with her, JJ would never know. But at that exact moment, the moment when she desperately needed to keep up her defenses to keep him away, all of her energy left her, along with her better judgment. Slumping her shoulders, she gave in to the one thing she had wanted to do for days.

Looking up into his eyes, she whispered, her voice almost devoid of all emotion, "Take me home with you, David. Please."


	17. Chapter 17

_As always, I owe an unbelievable amount of thanks to Tracia for her help in this little universe. She's keeps me sane and writing when I want to give up! Thanks to everyone who has been reading and reviewing. It makes me write faster. Really. Would I lie to you???_

**Mid-ep, Penelope, Ep. 3.09**

**FBI Building, Quantico, Virginia**

David Rossi was not a man given to believing in fairy tales. As far as he was concerned, life was wrought with too many horrible outcomes and murderous monsters to allow simple bedtime stories to enter his mind. Up until now, happily ever after had been a lie.

But for the 3.2 seconds that he stared into JJ's eyes, considering what she had just said, he suddenly realized that he knew exactly what the wolf must have been thinking when he looked at the girl in the red cape. The answer to all of his questions was standing right in front of him, offering herself up, his desires about to be fulfilled. She was everything that he could ever want.

For the next two seconds, he damned himself to every level of hell, multiple times, knowing that there was no way that he could ignore what she had previously admitted. Tamping down the feelings that he had for JJ would take every ounce of determination and self-control that he had, and he had definitely strained that resolve to the outer limits over the past four weeks. There was only so much that a man could take, and he felt like he had categorically earned a blue ribbon for his efforts.

Cursing himself again, he then started cursing the whole emotion of love and the whole process of falling in love, but the look in JJ's eyes put a stop to those thoughts. There was a deep-rooted pain hovering just below the surface, and he knew, just knew, that she was skidding close to the emotional edge, ready to slip at any moment. In the middle of everything else, mixed among the fear and the fatigue, her eyes showed him one other thing. She trusted him. She trusted him to be everything that she needed.

David Rossi may have been the big bad wolf in his past, but for Jennifer Jareau, he was willing to become Prince Charming. Now if someone would just tell him how to do it.

**********

JJ was not a weak woman, not by any stretch of the imagination. A strong resolve and guarded emotions usually served her well, providing the protection she needed when her heart wanted her to throw caution to the wind. She excelled at her profession, knowing exactly how to play the games necessary to outwit both psychotic murderers and the brainless bureaucracy.

But mental strength has its limits, and her limits had been exceeded, drastically. She had just killed a man. Yes, she knew that he was a murderous psychopath who would have probably killed again, and yes, she realized that he was responsible for shooting her best friend. But she had killed a man. Again. And therein lied the rub.

Someone else knew her secret know, at least partially, and she was going to have to explain things that she had hoped to never remember again, let alone discuss. But there was something about David, something about his mere presence, that caused her to drop all of her defenses, recklessly abandoning her well-built fortresses. In four weeks, she had let him invade her life and her soul in ways she had never allowed another man to ever do, equally scaring and thrilling her to her very core.

JJ knew that Rossi wanted her. He had made that abundantly clear, leaving no room for doubt. And she was honest enough with herself to admit that she wanted him just as much, if not more. Beyond that, though, she needed him. She needed everything that he could give her, needed to give up control for just a little while in order to gain it again. She needed to forget in order to remember who she was.

Stretched to the point of snapping, she felt her emotions bouncing, flip-flopping her insides in ways she had never felt before. And part of that had to do with the definite predatory look she saw in David's narrowed eyes, a flash for mere seconds, only to be wiped away just as quickly as it came, replaced by a scowl.

Her back was to the elevator, and she could tell by his expression that someone was behind her, someone that she probably didn't want to see. Out of the corner of her eye, JJ could see Hotch moving toward them again, and, frowning, she turned slightly to determine the situation for herself.

Erin Strauss, Section Chief of the FBI, stood in the middle of the BAU, accompanied by an entire crew of minions. And she didn't look happy.

********

Rossi had seen Erin Strauss in action before, and he hadn't been impressed. Watching the woman and her entourage move toward the now broken glass doors, he knew that whatever plans he and JJ were in the process of making were about to be postponed. Drastically postponed.

Quickly glancing at JJ, he wasn't surprised to see her shoulders squaring as she pushed a loose strand of hair behind her ear, her face neutral and not giving away anything. She was a professional, and she would remain that way until Strauss was out of the picture.

Catching Hotch's eyes as he stepped next to him, Rossi raised one eyebrow, nodding toward the Section Chief as he asked, "Were we expecting company or did she just decide to crash our party?"

Hotch pulled at his jacket, dropping one hand into his pocket as he answered, his voice dry, "What did you expect, Dave? We just had a shootout in the middle of the Bureau. I had to let her know. Somebody's gonna have to pay for a new glass door eventually, you know."

Smiling at his friend's attempt at humor, rare as it was, Rossi didn't fail to notice that the woman in question was headed their way, her expression unreadable. With one last glance at both Rossi and JJ, Hotch turned to move toward her, intercepting her.

"Chief Strauss." Hotch's voice was professional and calm, exactly what Rossi expected of him in this or any situation. But Rossi had spent enough time with the younger agent, in the distant past and over the past few weeks, to recognize the wariness that made it's way into his tone. Watching the suit-clad shoulders stiffen, Rossi suddenly realized that Hotch was preparing for battle, his subtle signs a red flag that Rossi was going to take seriously. Very seriously.

"Agent Hotchner." Erin Strauss pulled her sweater tighter as she glanced around her, her eyes taking in the entire situation. Rossi watched tightly as Strauss narrowed her focus, turning toward the petite blonde standing beside him. Her words were clear and left no doubt in anyone's minds. "Agent Jareau, it is my responsibility to inform you that you are to be placed on immediate administrative leave, effective immediately, pending a full investigation concerning this situation. Do you understand?"

JJ did not like Erin Strauss. She tolerated her because of her position, but she did not like her or respect her. A week in Milwaukee, investigating a serial killer who cut out the hearts of women while they were still alive, had showed her the true character of the older woman. Her attitude toward Hotch alone was enough to make JJ hate her, but it was her unwillingness to even try to positively assist the team that sealed her fate with JJ. Strauss had insulted the local police, forced the team to issue a false profile, almost lost it at a crime scene, and tried to stop Prentiss from breaking the case wide open. And she had made JJ's life a living hell, hindering her at every turn.

But JJ was not a dumb woman. She knew the rules of the game, and she knew how the Bureau responded in specific situations. While she hadn't expected the Section Chief to appear and relay this information personally, she had expected to be relieved of duty for a period of time. Nodding her head, she said calmly, forcing all other thoughts from her mind, keeping her eyes focused on the older woman in front of her the entire time. "I understand completely, Chief Strauss."

JJ watched the older woman nod tersely, her face completely void of all emotion as she then turned toward Hotch, opening her mouth to speak. But before any words came out, another voice interrupted, quick and harsh in the room.

"Well, I don't understand." Rossi's voice was strident, and JJ could have sworn that she felt him step closer to her as he said, catching the attention of everyone in the hallway, "Hell, no, she's not suspended, Strauss. Are you out of your freaking mind?"

JJ felt herself wince at the tone she heard and she unconsciously clenched her fist, knowing that this night was not about to end any time soon.

Erin Strauss picked the wrong day to stand in his way, because David Rossi was going to huff and puff until he blew her house down.


	18. Chapter 18

Twelve hours later, the sun high in the clear Virginia sky, Rossi slowly drove up his long drive, carefully maneuvering the SUV across the wooden bridge that covered the creek that divided his extended property. Glancing at his passenger, he took in her curled body, her closed eyes belying her current position. She wasn't asleep, and he knew that well, her hand strongly gripping his across the center console. JJ was wide awake, no matter what she wanted him to believe.

Neither of them had slept in thirty plus hours, and, combined with the previous four days, she was definitely suffering the effects, strain evident in the pale skin around her eyes. The last twelve hours alone had been enough to push her over the ledge, but she had held on. Rossi had been slightly amazed, not that he would admit it, as he had watched the hidden tiger emerge from the perceived kitten.

For him, dealing with Erin Strauss had been an enjoyment, in a perverse, convoluted way. Watching the Section Chief stand in the hallway of the FBI, surrounded by roaming security officers and suited agents, gaping like a fish out of water, was one of the few joys in his unbelievably long day. But he had not completed the annihilation that he had originally wished for. For the sake of the unit and the woman that he loved, Rossi had allowed Hotch to diffuse the situation and move them into a side office, but it hadn't lessened his anger or his desire to see Jennifer protected.

With a few subtle hints, Rossi had carefully insinuated, or perhaps threatened, that Strauss might wish to reconsider her actions or risk facing retribution beyond the pale of her imagination. He was fairly certain that his warning had been duly received and recognized as enforceable. His contacts extended far beyond the Bureau, tentacles sweeping into covert agencies and high-ranking officials that weren't even on Strauss' radar. And, looking at the washed-out face lying against the heated leather seat next to him, he didn't regret a single moment.

For her part, JJ had pushed back, not backing down under questioning from Strauss or the Internal Affairs flunkies. He and Hotch had sat with her while her weapon was confiscated, then throughout four hours of questioning, backing up every answer that she had given and confirming every salient point that that she made. Not even Erin Strauss could fault the logistics or the veracity of the shot, having to grudgingly admit that Jennifer Jareau had successfully resolved a volatile situation in a manner that would have made a Marine sharpshooter proud.

The only doubt that crossed Rossi's mind had been when the IAB agent had handed the Glock back to JJ. Maybe his mind had been on overdrive from lack of sleep, but watching her holster her weapon, he suddenly realized that she was doing her best to barely touch the firearm. Her actions reminded him of a novice who was afraid of weapons, but experience told him that was not the situation here, and he filed that thought away.

Pulling the SUV behind his house, Rossi pulled slowly into the garage, his focus split between successfully parking the vehicle with one hand, and the tightening grip against his other hand. Killing the engine, he leaned his head back against the seat, turning to stare into the now-opened blue eyes.

JJ stared back at the black depths, knowing that they had reached the point of no return. Pulling on his hand, she watched him lean closer, and she met him halfway. Dipping her head, she captured his lower lip against hers, sucking lightly, smiling against his lips as he quickly returned the kiss. Pulling away slightly, Rossi dropped a light kiss against each of her closed eyes, wanting to lighten the strain that was evident. Squeezing her hand once again, he pulled his fingers away from hers as he smiled, kissing the tip of her nose. "Hold that thought for just a minute."

Jennifer watched, eyes drowsy, as he stepped out of the vehicle and walked to her door. Her door opened before she realized it, and his hands were on her waist, turning her carefully as he unsnapped her seat belt. It didn't take her but a second to slide against him, her body fitting perfectly against his. She was home, and her body knew.

For his part, Rossi was trying to maintain the tight control that had recently served him well, but he was failing drastically. Trailing kisses slowly down her cheek, his lips strayed to her earlobe, sucking gently as he whispered, "You know what I want, Jennifer. And I know you want it, too. But I'm not going to start something that we can't finish. You're barely standing up straight."

Her whimper vibrated against his cheek, and he felt her words as much as he heard them.

"David, I'm not that tired. I can guarantee you that I've got enough energy left in me, and I've want this first time just as much as you." JJ cajoled, her efforts bringing her no closer to her goal, a small yawn escaping her mouth.

"Just proving my point there, Jennifer." Rossi's laugh was salacious, bouncing against her ears as he wrapped an arm around her waist and led her across the deck. The sun had warmed up the air just enough to keep the breeze from nipping her skin. Allowing Rossi to lead her through the back door into his kitchen, she took a moment, taking stock of her surroundings as he dropped their bags on the floor. His home was exactly what she had expected…open, airy, and definitely masculine. And not a taupe wall in sight.

Her analysis was suddenly stopped as she felt his arm wrap around her stomach, pulling her back tightly against his chest. She felt his hand push her hair to the side, and the most wonderful sensation of soft kisses covered her neck, the resulting shiver causing her toes to curl inside her sensible heels. All of her energies were suddenly focused on just remaining upright, let alone keeping her eyes open. Damn, that man was good, and she had a feeling that he was well aware of that fact.

His soft, low laugh vibrated against her soft skin, his words slow and warm. "Just so you'll know, it's not the first time that I'm concerned about. If you think that I'm going to be satisfied with just one moment with you, then you are sadly mistaken. When we get started, Jennifer, we're not going to stop. We might make it to a sturdy flat surface, but I can't guarantee that. I will, however, guarantee that I plan to take my time in getting to know every inch of your body, then I'm going to claim amnesia and start all over again. I want to watch you completely shatter in my hands, then I want to put you back together and launch yet again."

JJ felt her breath catch in her chest, her head dropping back against his shoulder. Standing up apparently was beyond her capabilities at that moment, and she felt her knees buckle, her feet suddenly leaving the floor as she felt strong arms completely surround her. Staring up into the dark eyes of David Rossi, Jennifer Jareau wrapped her arms tightly around his neck, meeting his lips as his head dipped toward hers.

Walking quickly down the hallway, his feet heavy against the wooden floor, Rossi carried the petite woman to his bedroom. His mind catalogued the fact that she weighed almost nothing, and he wondered how much weight she had lost over the past few days. Her eyes never left his, and he trusted his feet to know the way to his bed, because he couldn't tear his eyes away. Feeling his knees hit the edge of the mattress, he slowly lowered her to the large plush bed, pushing her toward the center, the comforter rumpling beneath her.

Feeling the mattress dip beside her, JJ rolled toward him, propping her head up on her hand, her other hand reaching out to gently touch his lips, tracing the edges with the tip of her fingers. Rays of sunlight snuck fleetingly through the wooden blinds on the windows, bathing them both in a moment of light before the sun succumbed to the clouds once again.

Rossi felt his control slipping, knowing that he was rapidly approaching the point of no return. His resolve finally snapped when her lips replaced her finger, and he knew that he would have to know her, intimately, immediately.

Feeling herself completely surrounded by his arms, his scent, his presence, JJ felt her world shifting, her tongue fighting his for dominance. She knew that she was going to lose, and she was willing to concede defeat now, all cognizant thought completely escaping her. Her entire focus was on the feel of his hands against her skin, his fingers tangling with hers as they both tried to unbutton her blouse. Murmuring against his lips, JJ whispered, "Just take it off, David."

Realizing the futility of his actions and refusing to admit that eight small buttons were standing between him and the woman he wanted, needed, Rossi finally just pulled, gratified to feel the fabric give way. Tightening his grip against her soft body, he rolled them both so that he hovered overher, his arms bearing his weight, her pale shoulders just begging him to begin his exploration. His tongue and lips burned paths across her bare skin, slipping aside the pastel straps that impeded his way, blazing a pattern that branded her to her very soul.

Feeling her arch beneath him, pushing against him, Rossi smiled, greedily, as he swept his eyes across her face.

Jennifer Jareau belonged to him. And she was about to know it.


	19. Chapter 19

_As always, Tracia has kept me sane while writing this story, providing invaluable assistance and a willing ear. I appreciate everyone who has been reading, and your reviews have been wonderful! Please let me know what you are thinking!_

**Post Ep, Penelope, Episode 3.09**

**Little Creek Reservoir, Virginia**

The occasional clouds had finally drifted away, leaving in the wake a midnight sky sprinkled with the sporadic star. The lack of cloud cover, however, caused the nighttime temperature to drop slightly, leaving a slight nip in the air.

Rossi smiled into the darkness, settling deeper into the plush cushion on the lounge chair, stretching his legs out even farther on the chair. There was nothing that he liked better than spending time on his deck, staring up into the heavenlies, knowing that there was more to the sky than met the eye.

But tonight, he wasn't concerned at all about the cold transcendent nothingness above him. No, he was definitely more focused on the warm, willing woman that was sharing his space and wearing his tshirt. Her damp blonde hair was currently tickling his neck, and he felt himself smile slightly at the sensation. Reaching for the glass of scotch sitting on deck, he took a quick sip, feeling the warmth of the aged liquor slide down his throat.

Shifting slightly against his body, JJ arched her back slowly, languidly, feeling her muscles stretch as she reached for his hand, helping him guide the glass to her lips, the scant sip she took more than enough for the moment. His arm immediately tightened around her the moment she collapsed again, her back comfortably resting against his solid chest, her legs tangled in his. His body made a fairly solid cushion, and he was more than happy to oblige.

The drop of the glass against the wood was loud against the noises of the darkness. His words moved through her hair, his voice warm in the cool night air. Nodding his head toward the open bedroom door that led off the deck, he asked, "You wanna go back to bed and, I don't know, actually sleep?"

"Like that would ever happen, David. We've slept, what, maybe six hours in the past twelve?" Pulling at the comforter, JJ tucked it tighter around both of them, silently congratulating herself for swiping it from the bed earlier.

His chuckle rumbled from his chest to her body, and she wondered it was possible to determine where one body ended and another began. His voice snapped her out of her thoughts.

"I refuse to take all responsibility for our lack of sleep, Jennifer. If I recall correctly, you instigated that little moment in the shower earlier."

Allowing herself a small smile, JJ whispered into the darkness, her voice husky as she turned to place a soft kiss on his neck, his beard tickling her skin, "Well, I'll take credit for that one, but you're responsible for what happened in the kitchen. I think we traumatized your countertops, and I refuse to pay to have them replaced."

"No, I believe that one was you, also, bella. I distinctly remember you were the one who said she was hungry, which caused us to move to the kitchen." Rossi couldn't see her smile, but he knew it was there. Matching it with one of his own, he tilted her head slightly, dropping a light kiss against her lips. "The counters will survive. I'm just not sure my body will. For somebody who hasn't slept in a while, you've managed to exhibit quite the energy level."

Feeling her smile grow against his lips, Rossi deepened the kiss, breaking it off slowly as he tucked her body closer to his, feeling her settle deeper against his skin. He had become well acquainted with her smile, and every other part of her body, over the past few hours. And he realized that, like a child getting his first taste of candy, he would never be satisfied, knowing that he had found the ultimate addiction.

Not that he was the only one eligible for a twelve-step program, which of course they would never take part in. No higher power could cause him to think about giving her up, and he planned, intently, to become even more absorbed in this obsession. He was definite that the woman in his arms was a willing participant, and her responses had categorically assured him that she was just as involved as he was.

More than anything, he wanted to wrap her up tightly in his arms, and fall asleep with her tucked next to him, then wake up and start his process of getting to know her body all over again. Which made what he was about to do even harder, his impulses opposing his better angels, desire competing against logic. Yes, he loved her body, and yes, he would spend a lifetime in exploration. But he was in love with her, mind, body and soul, and that outweighed all other considerations.

Sliding his hand against hers, he slowly laced his fingers with hers, feeling hers smaller fingers align with his, automatically tightening. His thumb sweeping patterns against her smooth skin, he kept his voice even and low in the night air as he asked, calmly but determinedly, "You ready to talk about things yet?"

JJ knew that this moment had been coming for the past twenty-four hours, and she thought that she was ready for it. Maybe. She had been wrong. The mere thought of dredging up memories that she had wanted to forget made her muscles clench involuntarily, preparing for a quick flight, avoidance the main purpose of her life.

But, as luck or fate would have it, she was tightly imprisoned in the strong arms of the man she was in love with, escape not an option. And she realized it. She also realized that, just like Pandora, she had opened the box and would have to try to explain, and perhaps contain, the contents. It was her responsibility to make him understand.

Closing her eyes tightly, she shifted her legs slightly, drawing away, only to feel his legs suddenly wrap even tighter against hers. Her voice was hoarse, even to her own ears, as she whispered, ""I'm not sure how to start."

Forcing himself to keep his voice calm, he spoke directly into her ear, his words warm against her skin. "The beginning usually works for me."

Her sigh was deep, and she winced as she felt herself let out a deep breath. "You know what I told you last night."

"I do." His free hand tangled in her hair, blonde tresses wrapping around his fingers as he slowly combed through the damp tresses.

She knew he was trying to offer her every possible support, but she was afraid it wasn't going to help. Hopelessness was competing with determination, warring in her thoughts and leaking into her voice, her words hesitant, "Look, I don't want you think that…."

His mind registered the change in her body and her voice, and he wasn't about to let her suffer under any false delusions. Words firm but tone calm, he tightened his grip against her hand as he said, "Listen to me, Jennifer, and listen well. Nothing that you tell me, absolutely nothing, will make me think any less of you or doubt you in any way. Whether or not you've realized it, little girl, I'm falling in love with you. Those are not words that I take lightly, and I know you don't either. But I promise you that I'll always be there for you and I'll always take care of you, no matter what you tell me. Do you understand me?"

Nodding her head slowly, JJ bit her lip as she prepared her thoughts, mentally strengthening her resolve. First things first, though, she told herself as she whispered, "David, you know I'm falling in love with you, too." Feeling his breathing stop for a moment, she took a deep breath, feeling his chest suddenly rise again also. The kiss that he dropped against her neck helped. Tremendously.

She could do this. He would help her do this. Wrapping her legs tighter against his, JJ started speaking.

"When I was in my junior year of college, I shared an off-campus apartment with my best friend Molly. We'd been friends since grade school, and I guess we had become more like sisters than just friends. Kinda like Penelope is to me now. We were both taking the same type of courses, and kept nearly the same schedule. The only thing we had different was soccer. I played and she didn't."

Listening to her tone change as she moved deeper into her story, Rossi wondered if he had been right to push her to talk about this. All emotion was leaving her voice, and he didn't like it at all. But he waited, wanting to give her the space she needed in order to finish.

Continuing her story, JJ slid further down his chest, pressing her back tighter against him as she tucked her head under his chin. "That was the problem. I had a match the weekend before spring break, and had to stay on campus to play. Molly went back to our hometown, and I was going to meet her later. Her parents were gone on vacation, and we were going to completely veg out by ourselves, eat chocolate and watch movies all week."

Her voice broke for a bare second as a sudden flash of memory flipped through her thoughts, seeing her friend laughing at a prank they had successfully pulled. Hesitating again, she felt his hand sweep against her cheek, softly, as his voice rumbled against her, "Keep going, you're doing fine."

"I was late leaving campus. We won the match, it had been a tough game, and I chose to stay behind and celebrate with the team rather than leaving." JJ's laugh was bitter, sharp as she muttered, "I was a bit enamored with one of the players on the guy's team, and I knew he was going to be a the party."

Low words rumbled against her. "Anybody would have done that, Jennifer."

Once again, his voice seemed to provide whatever she needed to continue, but her tone was even colder, if at all possible. "Well, not everybody would have ignored phone calls they got, now would they?"

One of the advantages of having her completely wrapped up against him was that he could feel everything she was feeling. And at that exact moment, he knew that she was suppressing very powerful emotions, her limbs becoming more rigid with every word she spoke.

Before Rossi could interrupt, JJ pushed on with her story. "It was the late nineties, and cell phones were still developing then. There was no Caller ID, so I had no idea that it was Molly calling. I just didn't want to be distracted, so I didn't answer the calls, and nobody left a message."

Silence filled the night air for a moment as JJ wondered if she was capable, emotionally, of continuing, long-forgotten visions of a redheaded, laughing girl filling her mind. Snaking their joined hands out from under the hidden warmth of the comforter, she tried to reach for the glass of scotch that she knew, just knew, was waiting.

His strong hand tightened momentarily against her much smaller one, then released, tucking her hand back under the cover. Rossi wasn't inclined to let her use liquor as a shield, but then, he well understood the necessity of a shot of liquid courage. Pulling the cool glass from the deck floor, he wasn't surprised when her hand wrapped around his, pressing the glass to her lips.

It didn't take but a sip or two to satisfy her, and her hand dropped back under the cover as his returned the glass to its temporary resting place. Feeling his even breathing, his chest rising and falling against her back, seemed to calm her for a moment, and she breathed deeply before she spoke again, determined to finish before she lost her nerve. "I got to Molly's house around ten at night, and even though the house was dark, I just thought that she had gone to bed early. It had been a long week for us, what with mid-terms, and we were both tired.

The back door was unlocked, and I just went on in. I knew Molly's home as well as I knew my own, and I didn't think a thing about it. But the moment I stepped into the kitchen, the warm smell of copper hit me."

Feeling herself reaching her limits, JJ forced herself to continue speaking, the warmth from the scotch already fading, a coldness settling in her chest even though the comforter was tucked around her. "It was before the local cops trusted the BAU like they do know. You as much as anybody should know that history. The local sheriff never even considered calling in help, and kept it quiet as much as possible, not wanting to scare the small farming community. Two other women had been raped, but Molly…"

Her voice broke, her breath shuddering in her chest. Rossi dropped his hand to hers again, tightening his grip, feeling her curl tightly into his chest, her legs drawing up to her chest. Pulling the coverlet tighter, he tried to completely surround her with warmth, wanting to keep her as protected as possible while she exposed her past.

Finally, after a full minute of silence, broken only by her harsh breathing, her voice started again. "Molly was his first murder. I don't know if he escalated or if it was an accident, but her death was violent."

Haltingly, sporadically, her sentences came out almost as individual thoughts instead of a cohesive unit. "He was still in the house when I got there, but I didn't know it…. He probably had no idea that I was even expected, and just thought that he would have an open chance at a single woman…..Her parents had let their neighbors know that Molly would be staying there alone for the weekend, so it was definitely public knowledge.

I switched on the light when I hit the kitchen, and the next few minutes were absolutely hell….I remember seeing Molly's body on the ground, half on the linoleum in the kitchen and half on the carpet in the dining room….The next thing I remember, I see a blur coming at me from the hallway, and feel myself slammed against the counter. I know my head hit the cabinets multiple times, but I'll never know how I got my gun out of my bag, but I did."

Damn, it was definitely worse than he had thought, and he had imagined quite a few violent scenarios over the past day. Curling her even tighter against him, his hands feeling the chill bumps on her arms, he somehow maintained a calm voice as he asked, "What happened next, Jennifer?"

JJ's voice was completely devoid of emotion now, and her words were clipped. "I carried a revolver then, a featherweight .38, no safety. My father bought it for me when I left for college. I remember getting my finger around the trigger and just pulling and pulling and pulling.

I must have lost consciousness, apparently I had a pretty good concussion, and when I woke up there were people all over the house, EMTs everywhere. I found out later that the neighbors had heard the shots and called 911. But most of all, I remember watching the coroner put Molly's body in a black body bag, closing the zipper over her face." Her cold voice finally broke, a sob catching in her throat as she viciously forced back the images in her mind.

Allowing her to regain control, Rossi kept his hand tangled in her hair, softly sweeping his fingers against her neck and shoulders. Feeling her body begin to relax slightly, he wondered if she could finish, but knew that she must. Hating himself for a moment, he asked, his words heavy in the darkness, "Who did it, Jennifer?"

Staring up at the midnight sky, stars blinking in the distance, JJ slowly answered, her normally vibrant voice dull against his ears. "The perpetrator didn't die that night. He was the teenage son of a very-well politically connected family, and his father apparently had enough influence to create a cover up, having him moved anonymously to a large medical facility. The sheriff himself helped create a revisionist history, and I was in no shape physically or mentally to protest. It took me almost two months to recover from the concussion, several broken ribs, and a broken ankle. Against my wishes, my family decided it would be best if I spent the time out of state, with a family friend, away from the whole situation. I found out later, overhearing my parents talking about it, that the kid died from gunshot wounds four days after I shot him."

Her voice was so forlorn, so distant, that Rossi was certain that there was more to the story. Sliding his fingers against her cheek, he wasn't surprised to feel the damp tracks of tears. "Jennifer, there wasn't anything you could have…"

The snap in her voice caught him by surprise, slightly, as she ground out, "You don't know that. I don't know that. The local police ran the LUDs off of her phone, and apparently Molly had called me multiple times. I'll never know what she called for, and I'll never know if I could have helped her if I had only answered. Damn it, David, I almost didn't answer Morgan's call last night. You just don't know!" Her voice steadily rose throughout, and she was almost yelling by the time she finished.

Recognizing that she had completely breached her breaking point, Rossi said against her hair, his tone calm yet firm, "Yes, I do know that. Suppositions and assumptions will only distort the past, bella. You gave your friend the only gift you could at that time…justice. Just like you did last night for Garcia and all those other victims. Those killers got what they deserved, and you were fortunate that nothing worse happened to you. I'm fortunate that nothing happened to you. I might have lost you before I found you."

JJ listened to his words, truly she did, but ten years of remorse wrapped up in unmerited guilt was not about to be assuaged in one night. Shaking her head violently against his chest, she whispered, "You don't know how many times I've relived those moments in my mind. How many times I've tried to figure out what I missed. I could have…"

His lips cut her off before she could even think about her next words, let alone speak them. All of her pent up emotion suddenly had an outlet, and she took advantage of the gift, returning his kiss, encouraging him to deepen it. Minutes seemed to pass before the necessity for oxygen overcame them both, and JJ felt a moan rise up in her throat as Rossi slowly broke the connection, softly dropping his forehead against hers.

His voice was harsh in her ears, and she heard the emotion riding just below the words. "I refuse to allow you to dwell on could haves or should haves, Jennifer. You were as much a casualty as your friend, an unwilling victim of a senseless crime and conspiracy. Hell, you saved your own life, and that's the part that means the most to me. Do you understand me?"

Rossi had never experienced what he was feeling at that exact moment, the panicked reaction that he might have lost something that he hadn't even known he'd wanted. But now that his heart had labeled her as important and his body had branded her as his, he was not willing, whatsoever, to allow her to exist in the world of darkness and secrets anymore.

Feeling her head nod rigidly against his shoulder, Rossi tightened his arms around her, shifting her body as he kicked off the comforter. There was only one place that he wanted to be right now, and that was in his bed, wrapped around this tiny slip of a woman who needed to know her worth and value.

His intuition told him that there was far more to this story than had been told, but he also truly believed that JJ had shared the facts as she knew them. She had been young and naïve, caught in a horrible situation made even worse by politics and polluted law enforcement, a guaranteed time bomb waiting to explode. A niggling idea in the far reaches of his brain told him that a few well-placed inquiries could provide him with the missing information that he needed. Tamping down on those thoughts, he focused on the woman in his arms, the woman who was clinging to him in a way that made him want to personally eradicate the people responsible for her past. More important than that, though, was his desire to replace those harmful memories with better ones. Far better memories. Memories that involved him and her and a large king sized bed.

David Rossi was on a mission, and he was unbelievably persistent in achieving his goals.


	20. Chapter 20

_Thanks to everyone who's been reading and responding. You've been wonderful! As always, Tracia has kept me going, her ideas always great and inspired. And, Susan, I promise that your quote will show up in the next chapter!_

**Post-Ep, Penelope, Episode 3.07**

**Little River Reservoir, Virginia**

**Rossi's house**

The middle of the night had always been a hard time for JJ, no matter where she was sleeping. From hotels in forgotten towns to her own well-known condo, no bed was safe and no place was holy. After a few hours of sleep, her mind often chose that exact time to review the events of the day, distortion being the name of the game. What hadn't appeared serious or fearful in daylight often grew to phenomenal proportions in sleep, manifesting in nightmares or extended periods of fitful wakefulness. The darkness, the bully that it was, liked to catch her when she was weak and alone.

Tonight was no different. Well, it was almost no different. Truth be told, it was completely different, but her body failed to recognize that salient fact. The middle of the night had come and gone hours ago, and if she was any judge of daylight assaulting her now opened eyes, the day was well under way. And while she was awake, she wasn't alone.

While she didn't remember the entire gist of the nightmare, she was fairly certain that she understood the underlying sentiment, gunshots overlayed with screams, Penelope's face in the ICU fading into her friend Molly's face in a body bag. JJ wasn't sure how long it had lasted, but it ended the moment she jerked, sitting straight up in a strange bed, her breathing catching quickly. Closing her eyes tightly, she pulled her knees up to her chest, resting her chin on her knees until her breathing slowly returned to normal.

Pulling at the covers, she wrapped them tightly around her knees, careful not to pull them off of the man sleeping beside her. At least she hoped he was still sleeping. A quick glance his way ensured her that his eyes were still closed, his breathing still deep and regular. Just the way she wanted it for a while. His mere presence was enough at this exact moment, comforting without smothering. For just a moment, just a few minutes, she needed to deal with the thoughts in her mind and then hopefully forget them. Hopefully.

She wished she was still asleep like him, beside him. But she wasn't. Red numbers glared at her from the nightstand, letting her know, whether she wanted to or not, that the day was well upon them. Breakfast never even crossed their minds, sleep far more important, and lunch would soon be a distant memory. But at this point in time, JJ really didn't care. She wouldn't have traded the past day for anything in the world. Well, most of the day she wouldn't trade. There were some parts that she would literally give away, namely her confession last night.

Taking a deep breath, she tried to ignore the flashes of memory that invaded her mind as she thought about what she had told Rossi. He might not know it now, but he was the only person on the face of the earth that knew her entire story. Not even her family knew of her long-held guilt, the barriers from that time in her life too great to be breached even by her father's love.

Feeling herself sliding down the slippery slope that would lead her to long-forgotten memory land, JJ jerked her head up, forcing herself to focus on the present. Taking a deep breath, she released it slowly, feeling the air move out her lungs, hoping it carried the thoughts that she no longer wanted in her mind.

Turning her head slightly, she allowed herself a moment to just stare at the man who shared her bed. Well, perhaps she was sharing his bed, but she wasn't about to be picky over semantics at that moment. Just enough sunlight flowed through the blinds to provide a perfect backdrop, and she took her time, soaking in his face, his fingertips, his chest. Shaking her head absently, she wondered how she had reached this point in her life without knowing a man like him before. Her mind answered that question quickly, reminding her that men like him didn't really exist any more. Yes, there were questions that they would have to answer, and yes, there were hurdles to be jumped, the first being the possible roadblock of fraternization. But right now, sitting in his bed, worn out and unbelievably satisfied, she didn't understand everything that had happened, but she also just didn't care. He was the last in a quickly vanishing breed, and she had caught him before extinction stole him away.

A fleeting smile crossed her lips at the thought of catching him. She was fairly certain that the hunter in him, not to mention the male chauvinist that she knew hovered below the surface, would have something to say about who caught whom, and who was she to argue?

Swallowing slightly, her mind reminded her that it had been quite a few hours since her throat had felt liquid, and the scotch from the night before didn't count. Abandoning her moment of silent reflection with one last glance at his still sleeping form, JJ carefully slipped out from the covers, her actions as silent as possible as she slipped from the bedroom. The kitchen was calling her, and she was about find out if David Rossi kept orange juice in his fridge.

**********

Rossi opened his eyes the moment he heard the bedroom door click. Staring at the half-closed portal, he listened closely to her footsteps, tracking her movements on the hardwoods. His mind knew his house well, quickly recognizing every floorboard creak and every settling movement. The tracker in him assured his suddenly overprotective streak that her footsteps had stopped in the vicinity of the kitchen, and he was okay with that.

Contrary to what she had thought and what he let her think, he had been awake from the moment he felt her twitch against him, her body suddenly racked with a spasm that he well recognized. Nightmares were an occupational hazard and a necessary evil, and the signs were universal. His initial reaction had been to reach out and hold her, wrapping her tightly. But he fought those instincts, and that choice had proven wise. JJ needed to regain her bearings, her sense of independence, and Rossi was willing to let her, with some boundaries. His house, his rules.

Just mere hours earlier, though, he had chosen the opposite, and he knew that he had not made a mistake then either. Hearing her voice as she allowed him to see into her soul, to understand her past, almost broke him, and he had called upon every skill he had learned in interrogation and negotiation to maintain his control. While he knew was given to a slightly protective nature, no other woman had ever caused him to react this way, not in fifty two years.

Holding her last night had provided a sense of closure for both of them. From the moment he had carried her back to his bed, the nighttime deck and midnight stars quickly abandoned, he had known that he would never be able to let her go. Her emotions on edge and her composure hanging by a thread, she was fighting the tremors that shook her body as he carefully tucked her under the quilts on his bed. Yes, his original intentions had been to physically show her his love, but one look at her tightly closed eyes, the pain etched into her face, had changed his mind immediately.

Curling his body around hers, he had felt a tightening in his stomach as she literally slammed against him, her skin melding with his. Legs and arms entangled, and two hours passed while he simply held her, no words spoken and no words needed. At some point, he knew that they had both fallen asleep, the events of the past hours finally catching up with their bodies as their minds finally slowed enough to allow it.

There would be time over the next few days to work out the details of this relationship, and there would be time over the next few weeks for him to decide what he was going to do with the information she had haltingly given him. Someone somewhere knew more about what happened ten years ago, and Rossi's hunches told him, insistently, that an investigation of sorts was necessary. But he could deal with it.

Rossi was not a dumb man, and his vast experience told him that the romantic road they were about to travel would not be without its pitfalls. But he considered himself a master navigator, and he was willing to chance the risks in order to gain the rewards. And he was fairly certain that JJ would be a willing passenger. But this time, he knew that he would not be willing to face any detours or obstructions, his resolve strong. She was his now, of her own accord, and he would not give her up.

His eyes quickly narrowed as he recognized movement again, slight vibrations evident only to him. Shifting slightly in the bed, he scrunched his down-filled pillow under his head, closing his eyes at the exact moment that the door opened. A slight brush of cool air crossed his skin as he felt the covers move, and the mattress barely dipped as her warm body slowly rolled toward his.

The smile that crossed his lips was involuntary, but he didn't care as he opened his eyes to stare into her deep blue ones, the matching smile on her face evident. No words were necessary as he slowly, carefully swept her blonde hair away from her face, his fingers sneaking to her smooth neck.

As his mouth found hers, his tongue tasting the faint hint of oranges, he smiled again as a flash of sunlight glittered against her hair. At that exact moment, whatever had been said in darkness was not nearly important as what was felt in the light.

And David Rossi was very good at shedding light on almost any situation.


	21. Chapter 21

Jennifer Jareau was a patient woman. Well, a partially patient woman. Yes, she exhibited calm and collectedness. Yes, she could model self-control with the best of them. And, yes, she could fake a serene countenance when situations mandated. But what she could not, would not, exhibit, model or fake was blind acceptance of an inane idea.

Which is why she was currently ignoring David Rossi. It was either that or shoot him with his own gun. Unfortunately, the latter just wasn't possible at that very moment, and she knew it.

JJ knew she couldn't touch her gun, his gun, or any gun, a panic reaction that her mind told her was perfectly reasonable given the recent events. Perfectly reasonable, and certain to pass. Hopefully to pass.

Too bad Rossi hadn't got that memo. His impression of a bulldozer was becoming better and better by the moment, and she was afraid she was about to be buried.

David Rossi had decided that it was time to target practice.

*******************

Ever since they had returned back to his house, late in the afternoon, Rossi had watched JJ literally flit from place to place. For the past hour, she had moved from project to project, her actions not at all those of the smooth, calm woman he was accustomed to.

For his part, Rossi had a fairly good idea about what was going on in her mind. At her insistence, they had finally left the bedroom after lunch, taking his SUV to visit their still-recovering friend at the hospital. Rossi knew that JJ needed to see with her own eyes that Penelope was still doing well, her recuperation well supervised by the ever-present Derek Morgan. A quick stop by her condo allowed her to pack enough necessities to last through the rest of the week, supplementing the items she had in her ready bag which sat on the floor of his bedroom.

They had a week together, a week that neither of them had expected, but neither one of them was going to turn it down. Hotch had placed their team on stand down, declaring that the mental stress alone from the past few days would keep them from being at the top of their game. And Rossi wasn't going to look a gift horse in the mouth.

But sitting quietly in his favorite chair in the corner of his bedroom, his eyes firmly watching her hang up her clothes in his closet, he mentally started putting together the pieces of the puzzle that were her life. A piece was missing, and he needed to find it in order to determine what was going on in her mind right now.

He started at the beginning. They had just been to see Garcia, so maybe the missing piece dealt with the recovering analyst. In one of their late night conversations, JJ had revealed what she had told Garcia after the shooting, and Rossi better understood her commitment to her friend, knowing that she considered Garcia to be family.

And of course, he'd have to be an idiot, which he wasn't, to not recognize the correlation between the shootings. The blonde in front of him, the one that was still compulsively folding the same sweater for the seventh time, had shot and killed two men who had shot her two best friends.

Now Rossi knew that JJ was not a lightweight when it came to her weapon, no matter what her exterior appearance would lead one to believe. The woman had some serious game when it came to firearm skills, which he had first learned about only because he had been dumb enough to doubt her when he first joined the team. Like an idiot, he had ignored Hotch's smile, thinking the man was just humoring JJ as she calmly called Rossi's hand and challenged him to small contest. And twenty-nine minutes later, Rossi had promptly stood in amazement and chagrin in the basement shooting range of a Texas local sheriff's office as the tiny slip of a woman bested him five out of nine times, totally decimating the hearts and heads of her targets.

And, of course, he had very recent, up-close-and-personal experience with her legendary shooting skills. Less than forty-eight hours ago, the woman had fired the perfect kill shot, through glass nonetheless. Her fears apparently hadn't existed two days ago. Or so it seemed.

But knowing all of that still didn't answer the final question in his mind. What he couldn't understand was her aversion to her gun, once again evident as he noticed that she did not remove the firearm from her ready bag, instead choosing to place the entire collapsible bag in the closet, underneath another bag. Almost as if she was trying to bury it.

Rossi kept his face neutral as JJ turned toward him, a semi-smile gracing her lips as she plopped on the edge of the bed, her feet resting on the edge of his chair, one foot slowly tracing up his leg. "So, David, what do you think we ought to do with the rest of our day?"

It didn't take a super profiler certificate to recognize a diversion, especially when it was being offered in such a nice package. His fingers automatically wrapped around the thin ankle, stroking slightly as he met her eyes and saw her wink. She may be trying to play, but he could see what was lurking, not deeply, in her gaze.

Rossi raised his eyebrows slightly, his mind determined to override his body, just this one. As much as he wanted what she was offering, he wasn't about to let loose of the niggling thoughts in his mind. She was scared. And David Rossi wasn't about to let JJ live in fear. Not if he could do anything about it.

Slowly tracing his fingers up her leg as he stood, Rossi smiled deeply at the woman in front of him, his hand moving to hers quickly. "Let's take a walk, Jennifer. I want to show you something."

_____________________

A smarter woman, JJ told herserlf bitterly, would have realized that he had something up his sleeve, having seen the looks he was giving her earlier as she hung up her clothes. A smarter woman would have been prepared for the sneak attack, knowing that he was a master manipulator trained at getting people to do his bidding in his time frame. And a smarter woman would have surely known that he was capable of reading her mind. Hadn't she thought very thing that when she first met him?

But no. She apparently was not in the realm of the world's smartest women at this exact moment. That was painfully evident as she came face to face with a regulation shooting target and stand. And the thought quickly crossed her mind that only David Rossi, who she currently despised, would have a regulation target just casually hanging in his backyard.

Closing her eyes tightly, she took a deep breath, her entire focus on just maintaining control. And not killing him. Finally opening her eyes, she knew, just knew, she would be staring right into his dark eyes. And she was right.

Sighing softly, she crossed her arms against her chest, her hands tucked tightly against her sides. "Dammit, David…."

His voice cut her off before she could even finish the thought, let alone the words. "Don't even try, Jennifer. Lesser men and women have attempted and been worse for their efforts."

It was time to try another tactic. Maybe, just maybe, she could bluff her way out of this, her exceptional poker skills a plus in this category. Forcing what she hoped was a real-looking smile on her face, she said, "Now David, I don't know what you're thinking, but…"

His eyebrows raised slightly as he fought a grin. Focus, man. "Again, Jennifer, it won't work. Do I look like I was born yesterday?"

Her eyes widened uncontrollably as she watched his hand drop to his holster and the latch unsnap. This was not where she wanted to be. The slight breeze in the air seemed to be much colder than it was just a minute ago, and she wondered if the wind chill could have drastically dropped that quickly.

Rossi didn't miss the change in her body posture, knowing that the task before them was not going to be an easy one. His thoughts ran the gamut of his choices, knowing that he could back down and let her deal with this problem in her own way. He could choose to ignore it all together and let the chips fall where they may. Or he could offer her the opportunity to meet the problem head on and overcome it quickly. He chose the latter, not that there had ever been much doubt.

Pulling his Glock out of the holster, he casually laid it on the stand beside them, all the while keeping his gaze on her face. But her eyes never left his gun.

Irrational fears were not JJ's forte. Normally accustomed to tight control, she just simply didn't have time or space in her life to deal with such things. But she had known, ever since the IAB weenie had handed her back her weapon, that she was not operating in the world of the rational. And now she knew that he knew too.

Rossi forced himself to stand perfectly still, not allowing his arms to reach for her. He knew that she had to at least attempt to do this by herself, just to prove to herself that she couldn't. While he couldn't compartmentalize nearly as well as Prentiss, he could still do it when he had to. Ruthlessly forcing down any emotion, he kept his eyes on her face as she just stared at the gun, as if the force of her mind alone would cause it to spontaneously disappear.

Her hands weren't clenched like before, but her fingers were literally shaking, tapping out unknown patterns against her faded jeans.

"I can't do it." Her voice was weak, even to her own ears, and she truly despised weakness.

"You have to. There is no way that we are leaving here tonight until you fire that gun." His response was strong and quick, exactly what she expected but still didn't want to hear.

Her eyes finally left the gun and flashed at him. "Dammit, Rossi, I can't do it. Not now. Maybe not ever."

Keeping his smile to himself, he knew that she was getting closer. Anger could be her friend for a few minutes, if only she would let it. Bluntly he said, "Well, dammit, Jennifer, you're going to."

Taking the three small steps he needed to reach her, he effortlessly slipped in tightly behind her, positioning his left foot next to hers as his left hand grabbed hers. He really wasn't expecting her to clutch it as tightly as she did, but he gave back as good as he got. Giving her a few seconds to adjust, he gently slid her hair out of the way as he whispered in her right ear, "Okay, bella, okay. Just breathe for a few minutes."

He felt as much as heard the jagged breath leaving her, and he allowed himself to release a soft sigh himself. He knew she was truly in trouble, but he didn't realize until this exact moment how close to the edge she was. "Jennifer, we're going to take this slow. Squeeze my hand if you understand me." Her fingers clutched his again.

She felt his fingertips gently touch her right cheek, and she didn't even realize that she was crying until she felt him wipe away the tears. Dammit, she was stronger than this, wasn't she? But no matter what she told herself, she just couldn't reach for that gun. Logically, she knew that it wasn't the gun that caused the problems. But somewhere in her mind, she couldn't make the jump between fear and logic.

His deep voice invaded her thoughts once again. "Don't overthink this. You're thinking too much."

Her laugh was definitely without humor, and she whispered, "What else am I supposed to do?"

His words seemed to come out of nowhere. "Let me help you."

"You can't think for me."

"Yeah, believe it or not, I can. At least for the next few minutes."

He made a conscious decision not to put on ear protection, partially because he realized that she needed to hear the explosion and partially because he needed for her to hear his voice. "Jennifer, you know what to do now."

Her mind seemed to become tighter, like a circuit board starting to overload. A part of her wondered if David could feel the pressure building like she did. She felt him squeeze her left hand again, and she thought he whispered again into her ear, but nothing seemed to process. Dammit, she hated losing control. His fingertips got her attention again as they gently touched her cheek, and for just a second, something seemed to click.

Rossi felt her shift against him, and he quickly prepared himself to hold on tighter in case she tried to take flight. He felt as much as saw her hand actually reach for the gun, and he kept his mouth shut, for once, as her pale hand hovered above the metal.

Everything she had ever been taught suddenly rolled back into the forefront of her mind, pushing out the foreign fears. Heat flowed from his body to hers, and she reveled in the feeling of warmth as her mind started to clear. Yes, she was still slightly furious with him, but she could deal with that later. Right now, she needed to see a man about a gun.

The target was only 20 feet away, but Rossi wasn't at all concerned about her actually hitting it. That was a moot point at this juncture. His entire goal was to ensure that she actually touched the gun. If she could do that, then he was certain that he could build her up to the next point.

But the legendary David Rossi needn't have worried nearly as much as he had. For while Jennifer Jareau was experiencing a temporary, out of character episode, it definitely wasn't meant to be permanent. Watching as her hand finally closed around the Glock, he felt her pull her arm into firing position. Gazing over her shoulder, his chin almost touching her hair, he knew she was aligning her sites. And then she fired.

Hell, she did more than fire. JJ completely emptied the clip, surprising herself just as much as him. Not quite sure where that burst had come from, she felt her hand gripping the now-empty gun even tighter than before, which was saying a lot.

Reaching his hand out slowly, Rossi gently peeled her fingers away from the hot metal, laying the Glock down on the makeshift shelf. The moment metal hit wood, he spun her faster than she thought possible, slamming his lips against hers.

Her lips met his with equal force, and she just allowed herself to forget everything. Completely everything. She didn't worry about the breeze tickling her hair. She didn't worry about the fact that she would have to let him admit that he had been right. And she didn't worry about how Penelope was feeling at this exact moment.

No, at this exact moment, she was only concerned about the here and now. Not the past. Not the future. Just the here and now.

The necessity for oxygen finally forced them to slow down. Rossi slowly kissed each of JJ's closed eyes as he wrapped her tightly in his arms, leaning back against the wooden pole. Her head tucked under his chin perfectly, and he sighed as he felt her shudder once again. His head knew that she needed to go through the entire process again, but his heart wasn't about to make her. Not when she was barely standing up by herself.

Staring down at her face, he watched her lips slowly spread into a graceful smile, and he would not be content until he knew exactly what she was thinking. "Wanna share what's making you that happy?"

Her smile grew as she whispered, "Oh, just something I remember reading once."

Tightening his arms even more, he took all of her weight against him, feeling her give herself completely. "And what might that be, bella."

Pulling back slightly, she smiled a beautiful smile, one that he would never forget no matter how old he might be. Her words were confident and sure. "Oh, just something about how the couple that shoots together, stays together."

Oh, if she only knew how much on target she was with that simple statement. For David Rossi had no intentions of ever leaving Jennifer Jareau, no matter what explosions may come their way.


	22. Chapter 22

_I have to thank everyone who has been so faithfully reading and reviewing. You have no idea how much I appreciate you! Of course, Tracia is totally responsible for me even considering writing such a thing, and she listens to me whine and complain while offering encouragement and a kick in the rear when necessary. And Susan has been a great help, inspiring and encouraging! Read their stories! They're excellent!_

**Mid-Ep for 3.13, Damaged (Please watch this episode! It's great!)**

**Quantico, Virginia**

For four and a half days, Jennifer Jareau had known something was wrong with David Rossi. The problem was, she just couldn't put her finger on the exact dilemma, partially because he was closing down on her and partially because she was five hundred miles away. She had a feeling that that the latter had contributed greatly to the situation.

Which was why she was exceedingly glad to be back at Quantico. Having been scheduled for a weeklong seminar for over a year, she had just spent the week in boring classes in a boring city, counting the days until she could return to her real life, which was now being shared with the man of her dreams.

Except that the man of her dreams was not exactly cooperating right now. The few phone calls they had over the past few days had been stilted, which was an odd occurrence for the two of them. Using her considerable powers of persuasion and speaking skills, she had attempted to draw him out, but to no avail. Over the past four weeks, from the moment they had moved their relationship to the next level, she thought they had been fairly good at communication, their late night talks becoming a part of their daily lives. But now, she wasn't so sure any more.

She hadn't called him last night when her plane landed, having spoken to him just a few hours earlier from the connecting airport, severe airline delays once again making her wish for a private jet. Flying commercial seemed so pedestrian after spending time on the Bureau plane. The only bright spots in her day had been the car company waiting for her at the airport, and the bouquet of white roses waiting in her bedroom, both surprises that brought more than a few tears to her eyes. Surrendering to the fatigue and emotion, she collapsed in her bed at midnight, her eyes closed before she even thought to remove her makeup.

Her first thought upon waking had been to reach for her phone and call him, but his voicemail picked up immediately. Frowning at the phone, as if Motorola was somehow responsible for the difficulty, JJ then tried his house phone, wondering if he was still at home. Four rings and an answering machine click provided her with the figurative answer she needed, but not with the literal answer she wanted.

Resisting the urge to just pull the covers back over her head and hide from the sunlight, JJ sighed as she threw off the comforter, her feet hitting the floor quickly. Apparently, her brain didn't recognize the fact that she was standing, and the wave of dizziness hit her with great force. Dropping back down to the mattress, her eyes closed for just a few seconds before she once repeated her actions, this time much slower. So far, so good.

Thinking that the fatigue and stress from the past few days were finally catching up with her, JJ promised herself that once she handled a few important items, namely HIM, she would get some proper rest. At least proper as it was defined by an overworked, slightly upset agent of the FBI. Of course, she refused to acknowledge the fact that this was the third morning in a row that the room had been spinning.

Gathering her thoughts, a difficult task for sure, JJ forced herself to finish her morning routine, knowing that the FBI waited for no one. The day was sure to be long if the morning had been any indication, and JJ was going to find out what was disturbing Rossi today if she had to lock him in his office until he talked. And on top of that, she just wanted to see him, to know that he was okay.

Jennifer Jareau would get her answers, whether David Rossi like it or not.

*****************************

JJ was an excellent actress. Talented in hiding her true emotions, she was truly able to play any part necessary in order to get information out of a suspect, victim or bystander. But as talented as she was, she tried not to use that gift on her friends. Until now.

Penelope Garcia was her friend. As a matter of fact, she was probably JJ's best friend, as close as a sister. Hadn't JJ recently put her life on the line, shooting the man who had shot Pen? Of course she had. That definitely defined her as a friend.

But friendship and sisterhood only went so far when one's romantic life was on the line. Lord help the sister that comes between me and my mister. Penelope possessed information about a certain senior FBI agent, and JJ was going to get it. Even if it meant acting totally innocent and listening to her friend rant, rave and suffer. She would ask forgiveness for it later.

Recognizing that if she acted the least little bit interested in Rossi rather than Garcia's embarrassment that she would never get the info she wanted, JJ tried to steer her friend toward the crux of the matter without pushing. At least, without pushing hard. Her intentions were good, at least to her own way of thinking, and she truly was concerned about Pen's situation. Truly.

But once she heard that Rossi had showed up at Garcia's apartment, in the middle of the night nonetheless, JJ felt that her world had shifted off it's axis. And no amount of cajoling or excellent acting skills could persuade her friend to share the details of Rossi's unexpected visit. No, Penelope insisted upon obsessing over the potential fraternization issue and her involvement with a fellow agent. Oh, if the woman only realized that she was preaching to the choir.

From that point on, it seemed as if her day completely moved into an alternate universe, one where normalcy competed with absurd, only to be overwhelmed by the absolute ridiculous. Then, as if to add insult to injury, Prentiss just had to invade the sacrosanct space known as Rossi's office, resulting in an explosion of facts that took them all by surprise.

To say that JJ was surprised by the state of Rossi's office would have been an understatement. If there was one thing that JJ was certain of, it was that Rossi despised chaos. His need for control was as legendary as his shooting skills, and the scattered papers on the floor of his office were a sheer sign of an out-of-control situation. Standing with Morgan and Prentiss, JJ wondered if she really knew the man at all.

Why Garcia chose that moment to share the information to which only she was privy, JJ would never know. But hearing the technical analyst suddenly spew details about a twenty-year old murder case in Indiana, JJ suddenly didn't care that her friend had not revealed all earlier. No, JJ's entire focus shifted to finding a tall, dark-haired Italian who was literally and figuratively making her life a living hell. And fortunately for her, JJ possessed the authority and the skills to make reaching him an easy task.

Throwing out a quick comment about the Bureau jet being available, JJ knew that she had the full attention of both Prentiss and Morgan, their plans sealed before the sentence was even out of her mouth. Rubbing her bare arms as she walked back to her office, her ready bag always waiting for such a trip, she smiled grimly to herself as she imagined what they were about to walk into.

David Rossi was hiding a secret from the entire team. But most of all, he was hiding it and himself from her. And Jennifer Jareau was not about to allow that to happen.

************************

For just a moment, before leaving the Bureau to board the plane, JJ decided to indulge in a small bit of personal business. Making a slight detour to Penelope's inner lair, JJ slipped inside and closed the door before Garcia even realized she was there.

Her eyes still glued on the multiple screens that lit her office, Garcia's voice was bright and cheery as she asked, "Aren't you supposed to be leaving on a jet plane, my little blonde gumdrop?"

Nodding, her blond hair swinging slightly, JJ smiled what she hoped was a calming smile as she answered, "Sure am. But I just wanted to ask a small favor first."

Quickly spinning in her chair, Pen's hair caught up with her head three seconds later. Laughing, she said, "Anything for you, O Keeper of the Chocolate. Which, by the way, surely you want to tell me where you're hiding your stash in your office now. You'd hate for me to go into withdrawals while you're gone, now wouldn't you?"

Recognizing the amazing opening that she had just been given, JJ allowed herself to smile widely. "I'll be glad to give you all of my chocolate, all of it Garcia, if you'll promise me one small thing."

"Name it." Tucking another pen behind her ear, Garcia just waited.

"I know that Rossi's been calling you. Otherwise you wouldn't know what you know." Sitting down on the one extra chair in the office, JJ leaned forward slightly, keeping her voice even as she appealed to her friend. "So when you tell him that we're coming, and we both know that you will, just conveniently leave my name off of the trip manifest."

Raising her well-plucked eyebrow ever so slightly, Penelope just watched her friend's face, taking note of the small bit of pleading evident in blue eyes. Never speechless for long, she leaned back in her chair, her voice pleasant and conversational as she asked, her grin growing by the second, "This wouldn't have anything to do with the little scene in your office the night you so graciously rid the world of a murderous scumbag, now would it, my little chickadee?"

Her eyes widened involuntarily as JJ felt herself losing control of her facial features. She wondered for a brief moment if she would be able to even speak. Swallowing tightly, she kept her eyes on her friend as she whispered, knowing that denial would be futile, especially in this office. "How in the world did you know?"

Tapping her well-manicured nails against her cheek, Garcia merely smiled, enjoying watching the normally unflappable Jennifer Jareau suddenly become…flappable. "Somehow, and I'll just chalk it up to the heat of the moment, you seemed to have forgotten at that exact moment that you have a security camera in your office. Remember that?"

"But how…when…" JJ knew she was babbling, and no matter what she tried, no matter how much control she tried to gain, she still felt her thoughts were literally melting inside her head.

Penelope's words snapped her back into focus, at least for a moment. "Look, JJ, it's not bad. When I came back to work after that entire unfortunate occurrence, I made it a point to watch the vids from that night. I wanted to see for myself how things had happened. You know that we tapped into the feed from my house, but I needed to know more in order to make sense of some things. I just happened to run across your little moment."

JJ looked up quickly, knowing that her friend had suffered greatly during that time. But she also needed to know what her friend intended to do with the information she currently possessed. "Penelope, I don't want you to …."

Waving her hands in a shushing motion, Garcia spoke quickly, her eyes fairly dancing, "Don't even worry about it. That section of the vid was sadly destroyed in a freak surge of electricity that somehow bypassed all of the safeguards that I so painstakingly installed on my system. You know computers. One little thing goes wrong, and suddenly, it's like we're all Luddites."

Exhaling the breath that she hadn't even realized she had been holding, JJ fought back another wave of unexpected nausea, a brief feeling that passed as easily as it came. Smiling tightly, she said, "I owe you. You know that, don't you?"

Using her most chipper voice, Garcia smiled widely as she answered, "Of course I do. What type of friend would I be if I didn't keep you indebted to my considerable powers?"

Standing carefully, JJ moved toward the door, knowing that it would take more than a moment for her to recover from what she had just heard. Almost to the door, she stopped when she heard Garcia's voice, no teasing near her words this time around.

"Don't let him get away, JJ."

Her back to her friend, JJ answered, her voice just as serious, "Trust me, Penelope, I don't intend to." She softly closed the door behind her, then walked down the hallway to meet Prentiss and Morgan, knowing that the jet was waiting to take them to Indiana.

To take her to David Rossi.


	23. Chapter 23

_Thanks to everyone who has been reading and reviewing! I really appreciate it. As always, Tracia has been a God-send, pushing and encouraging me at every turn. Thanks, friend! _

_If you haven't watched the "Damaged" episode, I want to encourage you to do so as soon as possible._

**Mid-Ep for "Damaged" – Season 3**

**Indianapolis, Indiana**

**The Palmer Hotel**

Today had not been a good day for David Rossi. Maybe it was the fact that he had been awake since one AM, nightmares plaguing his sleep. Maybe it was the fact that he had been unable to progress in this case, no closer to solving a double homicide than he had been twenty years ago, Indianapolis not exactly welcoming him with open arms. Or maybe it was the fact that he was currently looking into the glass of his fourth scotch, knowing that no amount of liquor could make him forget this disaster.

Maybe. But most of all, he knew that he was not looking forward to the moment that was coming. A terse phone call with Garcia, earlier in the day, had forewarned him, allowing him to prepare for the coming invasion. Rossi was about to have to deal with Derek Morgan and Emily Prentiss, and while their tenacity was no match for his arrogance, Rossi was just almost too tired, too emotionally drained, to maintain any form of civility for much longer.

But that wasn't the worst part. A part of him, the part that was trying to raise it's weary head, realized that he truly owed Jennifer an explanation and an apology. His voicemail informed him of her various phone calls, and he knew that he was being a fool to shut her out. But, whether she chose to acknowledge it or not, Rossi refused to drag her into the middle of his vendetta, especially following so closely on the heels of Penelope's shooting and their fledging relationship. But, thanks to a loose-lipped technical analyst, he had a feeling that his right to choose to protect JJ had been yanked from his grip.

He would be fooling himself if he thought that Morgan and Prentiss would be coming alone. If his Jennifer knew anything about this, had even the smallest inkling of an idea, then he had no doubt that she would be with them, barreling through the door to the bar any time.

Hearing footsteps behind him, Rossi frowned into his scotch, knowing that his suppositions had been correct. And he didn't need to turn around to identify the people who had invaded his space. Even before they spoke, Rossi knew exactly who was there. Yes, Morgan and Prentiss had made their well-publicized appearance. But his entire focus centered on the one other person, standing within arm's reach. No amount of scotch or fatigue could prohibit him from recognizing her scent, her presence, her very spirit.

Listening to their contrived jovial comments, attempts to break the ice, Rossi kept his eyes focused away from them, away from her. Hearing her voice invade his brain, his first response was to tell her to go home, wanting to protect her, to shelter her, from the pain of this case. From the pain that he was feeling. But when she refused to give up, when she inched inperceptively closer to him, Rossi couldn't ignore the invisible draw any longer, his eyes seeking hers out. And the sheer look of love and understanding that literally flowed from her eyes suddenly cracked the shell that he had built around this portion of his life.

Jennifer Jareau had found David Rossi. And he knew that she wasn't leaving without answers.

******************

Sitting in an overstuffed lounge chair in the hotel lounge, her mind desperately trying to comprehend what she had just heard, JJ allowed her eyes to just stare into space. Paying enough attention to Morgan and Prentiss' conversation in order to make semi-sensible interjections, she felt her mind turning and turning, knowing that it would take days to make sense of the entire situation. But more than that, her heart fairly screamed, hating to see him suffering as much as he apparently was.

For the past half hour, David Rossi had opened his soul in a way that none of the team had ever imagined possible. Dredging up memories from a twenty-year old case, he had allowed the three of them, allowed JJ, a glimpse into the horrors that he held close. Three children suffered still to this day from the deaths of their parents, and JJ truly believed that Rossi suffered more, not being able to provide closure to the children who no longer even returned his calls. Abandonment was not his strong suit, which JJ identified with in ways he would never understand.

His voice interrupted her thoughts, and she glanced up quickly, noticing that he had returned from his private errand. When he had left them a mere ten minutes earlier, all he had said was that he needed to take care of something and for them to wait in the lounge. As if they were going anywhere else.

Stopping beside her chair, Rossi flicked white envelopes across the table to Morgan and Prentiss, dropping another one in front of JJ. "Here's your room keys."

Prentiss exchanged looks with Morgan, then JJ, who just shrugged. "Rossi, we checked in already. JJ made the reservations on the plane earlier, and we got our keys when we first arrived."

Maintaining his even tone, Rossi's voice was steady but firm, his eyes keeping contact with the tall brunette. "Well, your rooms just changed. JJ may be able to make this a BAU case, but the BAU is not going to pay for it. Just take the damn keycards, enjoy the upgrade, and let's all get a good night's sleep, okay?"

Watching Prentiss and Morgan silently acquiesce to the hidden command in his voice, JJ reached for the white packet laying in front of her, knowing full well what she would find inside. While a part of her was slightly surprised, not expecting the emotional wall to be broken so quickly, the other part of her was relieved, her fears sliding back into the shadows for a moment.

A mere two weeks ago, JJ and Rossi had reached a tentative agreement, after much determination on her side and cajoling on his, that their personal and professional lives would remain separate. Sharing a bed when they were together at his cabin or her condo wouldn't change. But JJ needed him to respect the professional barriers she had in place, and he had grudgingly agreed.

But in direct violation of all of the personal rules that they had agreed to, David Rossi had just given Jennifer Jareau the key to his hotel room. And she intended on using it.

**************

Fifteen minutes later, she let herself into his sixth floor room, leaning against the closed door as she heard it click. Staring across the considerable room, she immediately found him, his back to her as he gazed out the large glass window, the city lights flashing below.

Pushing off the door, she kicked off her heels as she moved across the room, the plush carpet soft beneath her feet. She made it halfway to her destination when his voice hit her ears.

"I wasn't sure if you would come." Still staring out the window, Rossi watched her reflection in the glass as she continued toward him.

She knew he could see her, and she used that to her advantage as she slowly slipped off her jacket, laying it on the side chair. "Oh, there was no doubt that I was coming. To Indianapolis and to this room, David. No doubt at all in my mind."

He heard the steel behind the words, and sighed to himself, knowing that she had every right to express her feelings, but also needing her to realize the full situation. Clenching his fist tightly, he mumbled, his eyes gripped tightly shut, "I just couldn't drag you into this, Jennifer."

Taking another step toward him, she slowly removed her earrings, laying them down on the long dresser, then followed them with her watch. Forcing herself to keep her voice even, she asked slowly, "Drag me into what, David? Drag me into your personal life? Drag me into a case?"

Turning quickly, he dropped his back against the window, feeling the cold immediately seep through the glass into his jacket, as he ground out, his eyes flashing, "Dammit, Jennifer, I didn't want to drag you into my nightmare, okay?"

Watching his hands tighten at his sides, JJ realized the sheer emotion that he was hiding, the pain that was no longer hovering beneath the surface. Taking another step toward him, she lowered her voice, forcing his eyes to meet hers. "Maybe you wouldn't be dragging me, David. Maybe I would have come along willingly. Maybe, just maybe, you needed someone in this nightmare with you. Someone who could show you the light."

He shook his head slowly, wanting to clear his thoughts, to remove the cobwebs that seemed to have set up permanent housekeeping. "It just felt like too many years have passed for that to happen."

Her smile was soft as her hand reached up, removing the clip that held her long hair into place. "David, just six weeks ago, six weeks, I seem to remember me dragging you into my nightmares. Nightmares from ten years ago. Remember that?"

Leaning farther back against the glass, he felt his shoulders slump against the cold, cold that seemed to invade his voice. "It's not the same, Jennifer. You were a victim."

Her voice rang out quickly and sharply against his ears. "Explain to me how it's not the same. Explain to me how what happened in my past can be better or worse than what happened in your past? We didn't ask to get involved, David. We didn't ask to have things happen to us that would haunt us for years. But they did." Stopping for a second, JJ caught her breath, searching his face for any sign that she was making progress. Finding none yet, she added softly, warmly, "And you have to let me help you."

Rossi had been many things in his fifty two years, but dependant upon another person was not one of them. No matter how much he tried, no matter how much he wanted to, he just couldn't let go of the past. "Jennifer, there are so many things I could have done differently…

Watching his eyes darken again, JJ quickly determined that the time for patience was over. Taking the final steps she needed to reach the stubborn man, JJ slammed her hand against his chest, her eyes fairly glittering as she stared into his tired face. "Listen to me, David, and listen well. I. Love. You. That means that I want the whole package. And if that package includes your past, then so be it. You once told me that nothing I told you would make you love me any less. I also seem to remember a few words about not letting could haves and should haves rule my life. Do you not think that I feel the same about you?"

His hand raised to meet hers automatically, tightening his fingers around hers, flush against his chest. The flush in her cheeks drew his attention as his eyes met hers, mumbling, "No fair, using my words against me."

"I'll use anything and everything at my disposal if it makes you see the light, David." Shaking her head rapidly, JJ leaned in, her soft hand softly cupping his cheek, gratified for a moment as she felt him lean into her touch. "I get it, David. Really, I do. But you've got to see my side of this, too. If you shut me out, if you hold back, then how are we ever going to have any sort of relationship? You think I couldn't tell that something was wrong? You think I couldn't recognize avoidance techniques over the phone? I do this for a living, too, you know."

JJ watched as his eyes closed tightly, and the raw emotion in his voice seemed to cut to her very soul.

"It's been so long, so long since this happened. I've got to make the screaming stop, Jennifer. If I want to have any sort of future, I've got to make the screaming stop."

His shoulders slumped, just barely, and she watched, almost in agony herself, as his head lowered. David Rossi out of control, even weak, was not a sight that she was accustomed to. Taking a deep breath, JJ did the only thing that she knew to do at that exact moment. Pushing up slightly, she gently pressed her lips against his, offering what comfort she could.

She wasn't surprised when he quickly took control, his emotions relaying through the kiss and through his touch. The fear, the lack of control, the years of disillusionment…they all came through in one crushing blow, one crushing kiss.

Feeling her feet leave the ground as his arms tightened around her waist, his tongue sweeping roughly against hers, JJ simply wrapped her arms around his neck, surrendering completely, giving him the absolute control that he so desperately needed.

As her back hit the mattress of the oversized bed behind her, JJ knew that her life was completely wrapped up in this man, in this man who could drive her crazy with his words and with his touch. This man who was both irritating and irresistible. And she wouldn't have it any other way.


	24. Chapter 24

_As always, I owe a great thanks to Tracia for keeping me focused and sane! And Susan has been a great help! Please read Tracia's stories "Learning to Love" and "Consequences," and Susan's stories "May/December" and "Secrets." They are fantastic JJ/Rossi fics!_

**Mid-Ep for "Damaged" – Season 3**

**Indianapolis, Indiana**

**The Palmer Hotel**

Her eyes snapped open into total darkness, her body tense, nerves at attention. Holding perfectly still, she forced her mind to focus, to determine what interrupted her precious few hours of sleep. Finally adjusting to the darkness, her eyes didn't recognize anything out of the ordinary. Brain on overdrive, JJ was in the process of calming down each individual limb when she heard the moan, and then she remembered exactly where she was and who she was sleeping with.

The bed may have been strange, albeit comfortable, but the man beside her was well-known. Even in the dark and half asleep, JJ knew his body intimately, his arm lying loosely across her hip, his hand warm against her skin.

It was that hand that finally clued her in to what had abruptly awakened her, twitching hard against her leg as he moaned once again.

Snaking her hand toward his, JJ carefully touched his fingers, not wanting to frighten him. Even though he was still sound asleep, his strong hand wrapped around her much smaller one, engulfing her and pulling her flush against him, his body warm under the down-filled comforter.

Feeling his body tighten, a shudder running from his fingers to hers, JJ knew that she couldn't allow him to continue in what obviously building into a full-blown nightmare. Experience was a powerful teacher, and she personally knew the fears that lived in the nighttime brain. And she would do whatever it took to stop it for him.

Flipping her sleep tousled hair away from her face, she scooted up in the bed slightly. Sliding her free hand against his face, she softly ran her fingers down his cheek as she whispered his name, to no avail.

His fingers tightened against hers again, pulling her even closer as his body once again went rigid, his head tossing to the side. Making a snap decision, JJ leaned forward, speaking directly into his ear, sharply, "David, it's Jennifer. You need to wake up."

Within seconds, JJ suddenly recognized the ignorance at that option, finding herself staring up at the darkened ceiling from the vantage point of the floor. Rossi's arms had automatically flipped her, perceiving her as a threat, causing her to tumble. While it was a soft floor, the carpet obviously expensive, her landing still managed to make a soft thud, which apparently was all it took to snap the sleeping giant out of his dream. She could hear him stirring in the bed, his hand banging on the hotel nightstand. The part of her brain that didn't hurt wondered why she just hadn't just dropped something loudly on the floor earlier, if that was all it took to wake him.

The other part of her head, the part that did hurt, just a little, rebelled as a light snapped on, shining directly into her quickly shut eyes.

Something inside of Rossi seemed to shatter as his sleep-deprived mind comprehended what had happened. Comprehended what he had done. Shaking himself out of the fog that seemed to be swallowing him, he forced himself to focus on the blonde haired woman that was lying on the floor at his feet, her eyes shut tightly, a grimace covering her face. And he felt dangerously sick to his stomach as he knew that he had put her there.

"Oh God. Jennifer." His knees almost buckled before he even stood, jerking himself out of bed to drop to the floor beside her, his hands running down her arms quickly. "Talk to me. Say something, Jennifer."

Hearing the raw emotion in his voice, his touch frantic against her skin, JJ opened her eyes slowly, feeling the headache recede as quickly as it came. Staring up into his eyes, she forced herself to smile, not wanting to add any more pain to what she already saw on his face. She whispered, "Hi."

"Are you okay? Tell me what hurts, bella." His voice was rough as his hands slid down her sides, soft fingers feeling for potential broken bones. Raising her hands to his, JJ pulled them back up to her face, drawing his attention upward.

Sitting up slowly, JJ kept his hands tightly captured in hers, not letting loose. "Nothing hurts, David. I'm perfectly fine."

Shaking his head at the sight of her sitting on the floor, Rossi whispered, brokenly, his hands pressing hard against her cheeks, "I am so sorry, bella. Please forgive me."

Dropping his hands to her waist, Rossi carefully lifted her slight body, placing her back on the soft bed as if she was made of highly-breakable china. Within seconds, before he realized what had happened, JJ pulled him down beside her, her warm body pressing against his as they lay sideways across the king-sized bed. Staring into her deep blue eyes, he slowly buried his hand into her long hair, sweeping slowly against her soft neck as he whispered against her cheek, "Jennifer, I am so…"

Her voice was firm but warm as she interrupted him, her tone even as she slowly rubbed her hand against his arm. "Don't finish that sentence, David. It's as much my fault as yours. I knew you were having a nightmare, and I shouldn't have startled you."

Rossi stared in amazement as he watched this woman, this gift from heaven, tell him that she was responsible for his lack of control. How he ever deserved her was beyond his comprehension, and he would spend the rest of this night and the rest of the nights of his life trying to make her understand that.

"You can't take the blame for ending up on the floor when I was the one who put you there, Jennifer." Dropping a gentle kiss against her forehead, then her cheek as he leaned over her, he frowned, his voice worried, "Are you sure you're not hurt? You don't need to go the hospital, do you?"

"No hospital necessary, I promise. All my parts are in working order." Smiling gently into his eyes, she asked, slight curiosity in her voice, "I know you've not been having nightmares before now, David. Do they just come during this week?"

"Yeah." Propping his head against his hand, Rossi frowned again as he reached behind him with his other hand, pulling her pillow toward him. Gently sliding it beneath her head, he slowly fanned her hair, needing to know that she was safe and comfortable. "Sometimes I have them at other times of the year, depending on what's going on in my life at the time. But they're pretty rough this time every year."

Staring up at him, the soft light bouncing off of his face, she asked, "Why this case, David? What made it so much worse than everything else you've seen?

The fan unit kicked on at that moment, a soft breeze of cool air sweeping against their skin. Reaching for the crumpled comforter at the foot of the bed, Rossi slowly dragged it over their bodies as he answered, a humorless laugh in his voice, "Oh, trust me, Jennifer, I've asked myself that very same question. Many, many times."

Pulling up slightly, she matched his pose, propping her head on her hand as she continued to look into his eyes. "And what answers did you come up?"

Dropping his hand under the covers, he slowly ran his fingers against her hip, trailing up her side. He grinned slightly as he answered, "You really want to delve into my psyche at this time of the night, or morning as it may be? I can think of a few other things that would be much more interesting, you know."

"And we did those interesting things earlier, I believe." Placing her hand over his, she slowly squeezed as she held it in place, not allowing him the access he desired as she grinned at him. "And yes, I really want to know, David. Good Lord, I've told you the deepest, darkest parts of my life. So it's your turn."

Rolling on his back, he looked up at her, feeling much calmer than he had just a few minutes ago. Propping his head on her pillow, he returned her grin. "Pushy little thing tonight, aren't you?"

"You bet, buddy." Nodding swiftly, her tangled hair bouncing against her shoulders, she added, her voice suddenly becoming somber, "Have you ever talked to anybody about this case, David? I mean seriously talked about what it's done to you?

"Not really." His shoulders shrugged against the sheets, his head dropping more against the soft pillow, his eyes closing for a second. "I tried to, once, right after it happened. I was married then, first wife. Her name was Maggie, and we had met in college, in sociology class actually. We'd been married about two years when this case happened, and life was already pretty rocky at that time. But I needed someone to talk to, someone who could at least listen."

JJ dropped her hand against his chest, slowly rubbing his firm muscles, sweeping her fingers across his shoulders. "And it wasn't her, huh?"

"No. It didn't help matters that I wanted to have kids and she didn't. Was dead set against it, as a matter of fact. And hearing me go on and on about three motherless kids probably didn't help matters." Sliding his arm under her warm body, he pulled her closer, needing her body to touch his, needing her warmth.

Looking into her eyes, he frowned for a moment as he saw something he couldn't quite identify, a cross between confusion and tenderness. He cursed himself for a moment, realizing what he'd been talking about. Trailing his fingers against her arm, he said softly, "I'm sorry, bella. Does it bother you that I'm talking about an ex-wife?"

JJ looked at him sharply, her eyes catching his and suddenly realizing what he was thinking. "Oh, no, honey. Don't worry about that. She's as much a part of the past as this case is and as my history is." Tracing soft patterns against his neck, her fingers slow dancing with his skin, a smile slowly spread across her face. "I was just imagining you with kids."

Not even stopping to think about why he was telling her things that nobody else even knew, Rossi just spoke the words that came into his mind. "I think that's kinda why this case has always affected me. I've watched these three kids grow up, almost as if they could have been my own. And this past year, when they didn't call me back, it felt like the last twenty years had meant nothing to them."

For a moment, JJ wanted to find three children, who were now apparently ungrateful adults, and explain a few facts of life to them in a manner which would allow them to remember the lesson for years to come. Hearing the emotion, the pain, in his voice caused a knot to twist in her stomach, and she consciously changed her focus, drawing her attention back to him.

"But they meant something to you. Those kids mean something to you." Slowly moving her hand to his arm, JJ continued massaging his muscles, smiling to herself as she felt the tenseness leave his body. Smiling at him again, she added, warmth in her voice, "You would have made a great father. You know that, don't you? You've shown that in how you've taken care of three kids that weren't even aware of everything you've done."

Feeling himself relaxing against her touch, he tightened his arm around her waist, not wanting to let her go. "You think?"

"No, I know that." Dropping a soft kiss to his shoulder, she continued kneading his arms, watching his eyes grow heavier as his body continued to completely relax against her touch.

Yawning slightly, Rossi felt himself relaxing even more, if that was possible, as her touch soothed away the night terrors. "I know it's weird, but I never wanted kids with my other wives. After that whole experience, and all of these years, kids just never entered my thoughts any more. Too many nightmares to think about."

Wondering briefly how they had reached this point in their conversation, his openness almost taking her by surprise, JJ whispered, not even knowing where the questions came from, "What if this whole thing actually went away? What if we do solve this case this week? You think your thoughts might change then?"

Rossi heard her words, his mind almost completely shut down as her fingers continued their gentle persuasion. His eyes closed, he turned toward her voice, toward her warmth. His voice seemed to float out of nowhere, seeming far away even to his own ears. "My thoughts have already changed. I got you now, don't I?"

JJ's fingers seemed to stop in their tracks, frozen against his skin as she looked at his face, watching him fall quickly into a deep sleep. His words seemed to touch her very soul, quickening inside her in a way that no other words had ever done before. The mere fact that he trusted her enough to fall asleep in her arms seemed to be as earth shattering as what he had just said.

Her mind suddenly stopped, all coherent thought leaving, as she realized that he trusted her. Somehow, someway, she had succeeded. In an upscale hotel room in a Midwest city, Jennifer Jareau had broken through his defenses and had captured David Rossi.

And he had captured her.


	25. Chapter 25

_Thanks to everyone who has been reading and reviewing! It helps to know what people are thinking. As always, Tracia has been a rock, keeping me sane and coherent. Thanks, my friend!_

**Post Ep for "Damaged" – Season 3**

**Indianapolis, Indiana**

**The Palmer Hotel**

JJ woke suddenly, the small shard of sunlight that slid through the curtains apparently aiming directly into her eyes. Tightly squinching her eyelids shut, she willed the sun to disappear, to move to the other side of the universe. Carefully opening one eye, she frowned, reluctantly acknowledging the fact her will was not greater than the universe's largest heavenly body. Oh well. She tried.

Lying still for a moment, she closed her eyes again, just taking a moment to revel in the fact that she could remain right where she was, snuggled between a warm comforter and an even warmer body. The plane wasn't returning to Quantico until noon, and she had made Rossi promise her the night before that they would not be getting out of bed before eight at the earliest. A few well-dropped comments to Morgan and Prentiss had ensured that they would not be looking for reasons to invade either hotel room for any reason.

Smiling into the quiet room, JJ remembered the events from the previous day, feeling a sense of accomplishment and peace settle around her. Yesterday had been very successful, both for the case in question and for David Rossi personally. JJ was very pleased that she had been a part of this success, knowing that finally solving this case would bring an entire new freedom to his life. The lack of nightmares last night testified loudly to that fact. And knowing that he was no longer weighted by the past was the best gift she had ever received.

Her smile grew slightly as she felt his arm pull away from her. He rolled to his side and let out a soft snore, a sure sign that he was sleeping soundly. Good. She was fairly certain that he had not been sleeping well for the past week, and she wanted him to catch up as much as possible.

Speaking of playing catch up, JJ felt her smile slowly fade as she remembered that she needed to do a bit of that herself. Her paperwork from this case needed to be updated, and she knew better than to try to wait to finish it on the plane. Rolling to her side, she let out a sigh as she resigned herself to spending an hour completing redundant forms that would be read by redundant people. But it was for a worthy cause, she reminded herself firmly. She was the one who had said that she could make any case a BAU case, paperwork being the key.

Gently pushing the comforter to the side, she slid her feet to the floor, careful to not move too quickly. Mornings had not been her friend for the past week, striking her with random waves of dizziness, and she was not taking any chances with this one, either. Chalking it up to the horrible week-long seminar and then a quick trip to oh-so-much-fun Indiana, JJ vowed to start taking her vitamins again. Maybe she should try to sleep more than three or four hours a night. Surely that would probably fix everything and make her feel like normal again.

But her best laid plans failed her once again, and the moment she stood up straight, the room suddenly joined the circus, spinning her around in circles. Grabbing tightly to the nightstand, she waited out the dizziness, knowing from a full seven days experience that it would leave. Yes, she definitely needed just a few more hours of sleep.

Glancing back at the sleeping man behind her, ensuring that he was actually asleep, she smiled. He looked so peaceful, so calm, his dark hair stark against the white pillowcase. Maybe he could feel like that more often now, the case closed and the family settled in a new home. As far as she could tell, there had been no nightmares last night. Hopefully, there would be no more in the future, either. Hopefully.

Making her way to the bathroom, her mind focused on planning the day ahead, dividing out her time and prioritizing the items that needed to be accomplished before they returned to Quantico. Quickly brushing her teeth, she was still thinking about the forms that needed to be completed when she realized that the toothpaste tasted awful. Surely this wasn't the same she used yesterday. Checking the tube, as if it could have been magically replaced without her knowledge, she verified that it was, in fact, the exact same tube. Shaking her head slightly as she questioned the side effects of sleep deprivation, she continued brushing her teeth. But a mere ten seconds later, she realized that was definitely the wrong decision. Her stomach rebelled against the taste and smell of mint, and she found herself unexpectedly ill. Desperately ill.

And she suddenly realized that maybe her body needed more than just a few hours sleep.

***************

David Rossi liked to awaken slowly, carefully, taking small steps to enter the new day. Each sense came to attention, unhurriedly, as his mind and body stretched, independently and cooperatively.

His sense of touch stirred first, his hand reaching out, hoping to encounter a warm, willing body that would help awaken the rest of _his_ body. But his plans were thwarted as he encountered a cool pillow instead. Carefully cracking one eyelid open, he stared at the pillow in question. Nope. No Jennifer for sure.

Dropping back against his own pillow, he closed his eyes again, still feeling the throes of sleep trying to draw him back into slumber. Almost on the verge of surrender, his mind suddenly identified an out of the ordinary sound, and all of his senses went on high alert, now wide-awake.

Raising his head, he listened intently, quickly determining the direction of the noise, which he now realized was an honest-to-goodness moan that quickly faded into a whimper. Throwing the covers back, he was out of the warm bed immediately, his long legs eating the distance to the bath in record time.

It didn't take but a second to analyze the scene in front of him. JJ was hunched next to the wall, her body half leaned against the edge of the bathtub, her face paler than the porcelain. Stepping into the small space, Rossi reached her in two steps, catching her body against his as she completely lost her balance. Pressing his lips against her forehead softly, her cold, clammy skin quickly clued him in to her current dilemma.

Looking into her wide eyes, he asked quietly, noticing the darkened circles that enveloped her eyes. "Problems this morning?" He hadn't recalled her eyes looking that hollow last night, and that worried him.

She nodded carefully, not wanting to rattle her body any more than necessary. "Must have been what I ate last night. I'm sure it'll pass."

Rossi's eyes narrowed slightly as he considered her response, his mind recalling their dinner in the hotel restaurant with Morgan and Prentiss. "We ate the same thing, Jennifer, and I feel fine."

His voice didn't sound convinced, but for the moment, she really didn't care. Her entire being focused on just stopping the rocking and rolling that seemed to have overtaken her stomach. Dropping her head against his chest, she mumbled, "Maybe I picked up a bug somewhere. I've been tired…." Her words trailed off for a moment as her eyes closed, fighting the waves of nausea once again.

Rossi just held her, waiting not so patiently, until her eyes opened once again. Tilting her chin slightly, Rossi asked, his voice calm but his words blunt, "What else, Jennifer? How long have you been sick?"

"Just the last few mornings. It'll pass in a few minutes. It always does." Her voice still weak even to her own ears, she whispered, "I just need a minute, David, and I'll be fine. I need to work on the paperwork for this case before we head back home."

Frowning into her hair, he muttered as his arms tightened against her sagging body, "Good try, but not gonna happen. You can barely stand up straight, so I doubt that you're going to be able to focus on crunching numbers."

JJ opened her mouth, a retort on the tip of her tongue. But before her well-chosen words came out, the room suddenly rotated, and she couldn't tell which way was up for a few moments. It only took a second for her to realize that he had literally taken matters into his own hands, and she was quickly placed back in the still-warm bed.

Her mind wanted to complain, but her body seemed to actually feel better now that she was flat on her back. Closing her eyes tightly, she felt the cool sheet cover her legs, and she couldn't stop the sigh that escaped her lips. JJ truly hated it when her plans were interrupted, especially by her own weakness. All she hoped at that exact moment was that whatever was causing this would pass soon.

Rossi eased onto the edge of the bed, watching her clenched face. Sliding a gentle finger against her cheek, he softly commanded, "Go back to sleep, Jennifer. It's okay, I've got you."

Hearing his words, JJ wanted to complain more about her lack of control, but she couldn't seem to find the words. The unease in her stomach slowed tremendously as she felt his finger sweep against her cheek, and the last thing she remembered for a while was his hand pushing her hair out of her face. Then a restless sleep mercifully took the nausea away.

Slipping in next to her, careful not to startle her, Rossi slid his hand to her neck, burying his fingers into her hair. And he just stared at the sleeping beauty in front of him.

David Rossi was an observant man. His entire professional career was based upon his ability to read other people, to determine their thoughts by their actions. Years of experience had given him a sixth sense about things, almost an extra ability to suddenly comprehend facts and reach a verifiable conclusion within seconds.

This sense rarely failed him, actually serving as a great help in the field and in questioning suspects. Having relied on it many times in the past, Rossi had honed this skill to an exact science. From serial killers to local witnesses, he observed not only what was being committed and but also what was being omitted.

Apparently, his field of expertise had just expanded without his comprehension. For as he watched the petite blonde woman curled next to him, her face far paler than normal, his instincts kicked into high gear. Pieces to the puzzle started falling into place, and his mind recalled certain events and words from the past few weeks. And it helped that he had seen the same thing in both of his sisters many times. Many times.

A startling thought crept its way into his mind, and Rossi allowed it to take root, knowing that the facts as he knew them supported this theory. If he was a betting man, and he was, he'd stake his considerable wealth that he knew beyond a shadow of a doubt exactly what was causing her to feel this way.

Jennifer Jareau was pregnant with David Rossi's baby. And he was betting that she didn't realize it yet.

****************

Time seemed to pass without measure as David Rossi contemplated that very thought. Leaning his head heavily against his pillow, he just gazed at the sleeping woman in front of him, her face finally relaxed instead of holding that grimace of pain.

His mind traveled every twist and turn imaginable. If he was right, and he knew he was, then his future was going to be far different than he had imagined. As he analyzed that feeling, the control freak inside of him was almost shocked to realize that the thought didn't distress him. He wasn't angry. He wasn't filled with dread. As a matter of fact, he actually felt a small glimmer of something he could only describe as hope.

But he was also realistic. The sleeping woman, who was more than likely the mother of his unborn child, may not feel the same. His gut was telling him that Jennifer's reaction would be considerably more emotional. And he couldn't blame her. She would carry the brunt of the load, physically, emotionally, and professionally.

But while his mind acknowledged those facts, his heart refused to dwell there. Instead, he felt surprised optimism mixing with eager expectation. If someone had asked him yesterday, he would have said that closing this case and helping those three orphans were probably the best things that had ever happened to him. And he would have been horribly wrong.

Slowly slipping his hand to her still flat stomach, he laid his palm gently against her skin, letting his mind imagine how she would look and feel in just a few months, his child growing inside of her. He knew he was grinning, and he was extremely glad that she was still asleep, not able to see his reaction.

This was his last chance, and he knew it. He had been given a final opportunity at happiness with this gorgeous, intelligent woman, and he was not going to mess it up, the Bureau and its rules be damned. No matter what it took, no matter what he had to do, he vowed to protect his woman and his child with every fiber of his being, unwilling to lose either of them now that he had found them. Dropping a chaste kiss to JJ's forehead, he pressed his lips to her skin, sealing his promise in the only way that he knew how.

And, at that precise moment, in a hotel room in the city that had once stolen his peace of mind, David Rossi felt true serenity for the first time in well over twenty years. No matter what happened, he would always remember this moment in time, arms wrapped around the woman he loved. This exact moment that he fell in love with his unborn child.


	26. Chapter 26

JJ knew her body well. Any semi-intelligent woman who had managed to make it to her thirties usually had a good idea of what felt good and what didn't. And for JJ, control freak that she was, the not-so-good feelings usually elicited a corresponding not-so-good feeling of anger. Which was why she was currently fighting a battle on two fronts, the physical holding war with the emotional, and both of them determined to win. No matter what, Jennifer Jareau just absolutely did not "do" sick.

But for the last few days, that was exactly what she had been doing, or so it seemed, off and on at certain times of the day. Thinking that the few episodes that she experienced in Indianapolis were isolated occasions, she had felt fine once they returned to Quantico. Sure, she still had a few moments of queasiness, but she was certain that viruses could last for days. That was her story, and she was sticking to it.

But managing to convince her self-appointed protector of this fact had proven to be far more difficult. If she had thought that David Rossi could be difficult to handle under normal circumstances, she hadn't seen anything yet. Her minor virus could apparently push him over the edge, and likely take her with him. Ever since Indianapolis, his hovering skills had suddenly risen to new heights, much to her dismay and increasing anger. Steadily increasing anger.

And it didn't help that at this very moment, sitting on the private jet that she usually loved, that she feared a relapse of the virus that should have left days ago. Or maybe she had a sudden case of motion sickness. Either way, something was wrong, and someone was going to pay for it.

It hadn't been her original plan to take another case so soon, but the case detective had stubbornly pushed his way to the top of her list, his brother one of the victims. And Rossi, acting in Hotch's place, had agreed to take the case. Her grumbling mind questioned Hotch's oh-so convenient timing at taking a personal day.

So, in her slightly befuddled mind, JJ truly believed that she could blame her current state of despair on the bearded senior agent. If Rossi had not chosen to take the team to Pennsylvania, then she would have never been on the plane. And if she had never been on the plane, then she was certain that she wouldn't have what had to be motion sickness mixed with twinges of that pesky left over virus.

It didn't matter that she had never had any form of travel illness before in her life. Apparently it could manifest at the oddest moments, or so she had once heard. Therefore, she was dead set in her belief that David Rossi was totally responsible for this form of torture that she was currently experiencing.

Even with her eyes closed, JJ tried to listen to the conversation around her, truly she did. Batting her lids open every now and then, just enough to stay engaged, she hoped she was fooling the other occupants of the plane. Morgan's voice was still belligerent, his desire to prove himself right showing up in every single word. And Prentiss's words were calm and measured, her counterarguments well developed and logical. But it was that other voice, that deep controlled tone, that got her attention. She knew that voice well, in it's many forms, and it overrode all others on the plane as he pushed his point home. Even in her current state of misery, she recognized Rossi's reasons as valid. Apparently the rest of the team came to the same conclusion, files closing as their conversation turned far more neutral and friendly.

JJ let her head drop back against the leather seat, then quickly regretted that decision. Sudden movement was not her friend. Mentally counting to ten, she called upon all of her will and determination to keep her stomach from violently rebelling. Feeling the seat next to her rock slightly, she gritted her teeth at the vibration. And at the man that she knew was sitting there. The same man that just had to take this case. The same man that just had to put her on an airplane.

She conveniently ignored the fact that she had told him just a few days ago, in no uncertain terms, that her queasiness was just a virus that would soon go away. At this point, her mind moved to the devious and malicious, and she hoped he got her insidious little bug and suffered just as much as she was. She loved him. Truly, she did. But misery loved company, also.

David Rossi had gotten her into this mess, and by God, JJ was going to make sure that he got her out. Or at least suffered alone with her.

***********

After two days in Pittsburgh, JJ truly wished that she had a clone. Maybe two or three. If she was wishing, she might as well wish big. One clone could cover the current case, and another one could handle the sickness that still overwhelmed her. The last one could be in charge of dealing with David Rossi and his dictatorial tendencies. Then maybe, just maybe, the original JJ could finally get some rest.

Their arrival at the police station had not been a welcome sight. She wasn't expecting streamers and balloons, but she also wasn't expecting the cold shoulder treatment that the entire team received from the police force. The only bright spot was Detective Baleman, who had originally called her. But JJ feared that he might prove to be a liability, his judgment colored by the fact that his brother was apparently one of the victims.

She had spent yesterday with the detective, his attitude belligerent and confused as he questioned every decision she made. Then today, the death of the young mother overwhelmed her day, another victim to fit into their profile. And they were no closer to finding their unsub.

Her argument with Rossi earlier today hadn't helped matters. For some strange reason, he was treating her with kid gloves, not allowing her to do more much more than basic investigation that any rookie could handle. She could still hear that calm, patronizing voice, his words playing in her mind. Stay at the station, Jennifer. Don't strain yourself, Jennifer. Don't forget to eat, Jennifer. If you're not feeling better, get some sleep, Jennifer. Somehow or another, the man had apparently forgotten, probably deliberately, every rule that she had set in place to keep their professional lives separate from their personal lives. As if that should really surprise her.

Dropping her head to the desk, JJ pressed her cheek against the cool wood, not bothering to even care if anyone saw her. Like that would happen. She was practically alone in her corner of the Pittsburgh police station, the hour late. Very late. The last time she looked at her watch, the big hand and the little hand were competing for the same double digit number. And her brain competed with her emotions for what little mental aptitude that she had left, losing rapidly to her desire to sleep.

With a deep breath, she jerked her head off the desk, knowing that she couldn't sleep yet. Turning her focus back to the laptop sitting on the desk, JJ took another deep breath, then threw herself back into the press release, tuning out all distractions in order to complete this one vital task.

Maybe that's why she didn't hear the approaching footsteps.

****************

David Rossi was on a mission. And he intended to be successful. He only hoped that he didn't kill his target first.

Reaching the glass doors of the police station, he jerked them open, anger evident in every action. Not even bothering to check in at the front desk, he glared at the sergeant on duty, who fortunately had enough sense to recognize the FBI badge. Rossi was not stopping for anyone or anything, especially bureaucracy in any form.

Measuring his steps carefully, Rossi walked through the station, having a very good idea of his final destination. Just a mere thirty minutes prior, he had knocked on JJ's hotel door, to no avail. Her cell phone went unanswered, which was an unpardonable sin in the universe in which David Rossi ruled and reigned. A quick phone call to his now favorite technical analyst had revealed the final piece of the puzzle, the GPS locator in JJ's phone leading him here.

Reaching the infinitesimally small cracker box of an office, tucked away in a remote corner of the station, Rossi just stood at the doorway, feeling himself getting angrier by the moment. And the object of his anger was still unaware of his presence, her pale face focused on the shadowed computer screen.

Taking a deep breath, he stepped into the room, immediately reducing the available space by half. His words were sharp as he ground out, his hands slamming against the desk, "What in the hell do you think you are doing?"

Her neck jerked involuntarily as she jumped, a Pavlovian reaction to the violent sound. Her breath coming quick, JJ forced a smile on her face, and somehow managed to keep a civil tone to her voice. "I'm sitting at a computer at a desk in a police station, writing a press release. In some worlds, this is called working. Does that surprise you?"

Glaring down at her, Rossi leaned forward, resting more of his weight against his palms as he responded, his voice growing in volume with every word. "Oh, I'm surprised. Definitely surprised. Just imagine my surprise when I found your hotel room empty. Of course, I knew that, surely, you would not still be working. Not when I called it quits for the entire team two hours ago. Two hours ago, Jennifer."

In the three months that she had known him, JJ had only seen him this angry once before, and that time had also occurred late at night in a local police station, the Montana mountains serving as the backdrop then. Glancing quickly over his shoulder, JJ was extremely glad to see that they had not yet gathered an audience, no thanks to him. "No need to bellow, David. I heard you the first time."

Shaking his head, he ground out, no happier than he was before. "Well, you might have heard, but you didn't listen. It's 11 PM, Jennifer. It's becoming abundantly clear that you apparently can't tell time, either."

A part of him realized that he was overreacting, but at this point in this ballgame called life, he no longer had time to play by the polite rules. He had kept his thoughts to himself for the past few days, but he had watched her closely. The woman was a menace to herself, her health at risk, and he wasn't about to let her work herself into the ground. And take their child with her.

Feeling her shoulders stiffen as her eyes narrowed, JJ stood quickly, slamming her hands against the desk, her pose a mirror image of his. "What is your problem today, Rossi? You've been on my case in one way or another for two days. Ever since we left Indiana, you've hovered with the precision of an Apache helicopter. For God's sake, David, let up!" Pushing off the desk with her hands, JJ straightened, intending to turn back to her computer, choosing to ignore him if he was going to ignore her feelings.

But her best laid plans failed her once again, and the quick turn that she attempted to execute was suddenly halted by another damned wave of dizziness. As her hand reached for the desk, automatically seeking support as her world spun, she knew that the worst part was still coming. For she was certain that that infuriating man had seen this very act of weakness.

She was correct. As Rossi watched her pale face grow even paler, his anger merged with a deep concern, his feet rounding the desk before she could even speak. In less than five seconds, his arms were around her waist, her back firmly pressed against his chest.

Even though she was still quite mad, she had to admit that it felt wonderful to just be held for a moment. Her traitorous body collapsed against his, and her mind suddenly lost the energy to continue the battle.

His words were calm in her ear, the angry words from earlier suddenly forgotten. ""Did you eat today?"

Damning her body for failing her once again, JJ nodded slightly, still resting her head against his shoulder. "I got something earlier when we were out."

Mentally calculating her schedule for that day, Rossi tightened his grip against her waist, lowering them both into the hard wooden chair that she had just vacated. Cradling her body against his, he asked, forcing himself to keep his voice calm, "You mean when you and Reid interviewed that couple before lunch?"

Okay, so she had to acknowledge that it felt good to just be held for a moment, words not necessarily an option. "Uh huh."

His hand cupped her chin softly, tilting her face so that he could check her response. "Jennifer that was at 10 AM this morning. You mean to tell me that you've not eaten for over twelve hours?"

Sighing deeply, JJ felt the urge to just close her eyes and ignore him. But she was fairly certain he would still be there, no matter what. Sighing deeply, she said, "David, I've just not been hungry. Between that stupid virus and this case, it's…"

For one of the few times in his life, Rossi's mind failed to catch his words, and his thoughts just spilled out of his mouth without being filtered. "Dammit, Jennifer, if you're not going to think about yourself, at least try to think about the baby."

To his credit, he realized his mistake the moment the words were spoken. But realization didn't change facts, and all he could do was stare at her face as her eyes widened, pupils dilating rapidly.

Her hands clutched against his chest, violently crumpling his shirt as she asked, confusion shadowing her words, "Baby? What baby?"


	27. Chapter 27

_Thanks to everyone who has been reading and reviewing! I really appreciate your comments, and hope that you are still enjoying this little world. As always, Tracia deserves a great deal of thanks for keeping me sane and focused! This story wouldn't be possible without her!_

**Mid Ep for Higher Power, Season 3**

**Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania**

David Rossi did not normally misspeak. He said what he meant, and he meant what he said. Over a half-century of life on this earth had taught him not to parse his words, bluntness his friend and regret rarely entering his vocabulary.

Until today. Staring into the widened, confused eyes of the petite blonde sitting in his arms, Rossi suddenly wanted to withdraw his words, to reach out and snatch those careless sentences that he had just thrown out into the air. It wasn't that he didn't believe what he said, but he desperately wished that he had chosen a better time and place to deliver the news.

But he hadn't. For some unknown foolish reason, his mouth got the better of him, committing him to finishing a conversation that he had not originally planned to start.

Taking a deep breath, Rossi decided to take control back while he still could. Dropping his hand to hers, he ignored her question as he pulled her up slowly, tucking her next to his body. Glancing at her, he asked quietly as he reached for the laptop, "How do I shut down your programs, Jennifer?"

JJ could not do much more than just stare at the dark haired man, wondering if he was slowly losing his mind. Blinking rapidly, she shook her head slowly, her mind still attempting to process the last few minutes. "Wait, David. Go back to what you just said."

Rossi knew better than to meet her eyes, keeping his focus on her laptop and on holding her up. "Laptop right now, Jennifer. Then we'll talk once we get to the hotel."

Recognizing the tone of voice, JJ grudgingly conceded, the soft sigh that escaped her lips the only sign of protest. Throwing a glare his way, she shifted away from him slightly, only to find that his hand wasn't leaving her waist. In less than sixty seconds, she had the offending laptop closed, and her notes packed into the waiting bag.

Her mind stayed as busy as her hands, mulling over everything that she had seen and heard, especially those most recent words. Words about a baby. Words about taking care of herself. As if the two were connected somehow. His words kept playing over and over in her mind, the word baby beginning to take root in her thought processes. The only baby that she had seen in days had been the child of the latest victim. But she was beginning to have a sneaking suspicion that David Rossi wasn't talking about the unknown child of an unknown victim. Even her tired brain recognized the fact that he was far too emotionally involved, his words seemingly blurted out in exasperation.

And standing in the middle of a strange police station, staring up at the man that she had blamed earlier for her motion sickness, Jennifer Jareau suddenly realized that she might have been right. David Rossi just might be responsible for how she was feeling, but not in the way that she originally thought.

As quickly as that thought came into her mind, she forced it out, submerged it as far as possible into her internal psyche. It was wrong. Wrong. Wrong.

He was wrong. Surely he was wrong.

Opening her mouth, she quickly closed it, her words dying on her tongue. There were no words that could be used at this moment in time. JJ wasn't even sure that she possessed the power of speech any longer.

Watching the sheer shock that passed through her eyes, Rossi felt her body shiver for a moment, his hand still tucked against her waist. Sighing softly to himself, he shook his head, halting any protests that she might think of making, and he silently led her out of the station to his waiting SUV.

Traveling through the darkened streets of Pittsburgh, Jennifer Jareau wanted to push for answers, her fears gnawing at the pit of her stomach, but she was truly afraid that she didn't even know the right questions to ask.

Staring straight ahead, her body slowly began to relax as the gentle swaying of the vehicle rocked her, slowing her thoughts. Her intuition told her that the silent man next to her was intently watching her, but she couldn't stop herself from just closing her eyes. Just for a moment. Her mind screamed loudly, logic fighting with firm denial. But JJ lost the battle as her body finally succumbed to the sleep she so desperately wanted.

But her last coherent thought did not go unnoticed. As she felt his hand slip against hers, his fingers tightening, JJ returned the touch, the connection strengthening her resolve. If it was the last thing Jennifer Jareau did tonight, she would prove to David Rossi that he was wrong.

There was no way that she could be having a baby. His baby.

****************

JJ just stared at him. Her mind heard the words that he said, but refused to comprehend them, jumbling them in her thoughts. So this is what it feels like to have a stroke, she thought absently. Shaking herself again, she then wondered if she was still sleeping, the small nap in the car having just confused her even more.

Forcing herself to ignore the sinking feeling in her stomach, she swallowed, not sure that she would be able to speak. But she had to at least attempt it if she was going to get to the bottom of this. "I don't think I heard you correctly."

"I said that I think you're pregnant." Rossi watched the blonde very carefully, his eyes focusing on every emotion that crossed her face. From the moment they had entered her hotel room, he had been walking on eggshells, and he knew it. And David Rossi was not known for treading lightly.

For the second time that night, JJ opened her mouth, but nothing came out. Staring across the room at the man casually propped against the wall, she could do nothing more than stand there, gaping like a fish out of water.

His eyes narrowed even more as he took a step toward her, her lack of a reaction beginning to seriously worry him. But he had only taken a few steps when her hand went into the air, a pale stop sign on his road to reaching her.

"No, David. You're wrong." Finally finding her voice, JJ watched him stop at the edge of the extra bed, his knees almost touching the generic bedspread. Her mind whirling, she attempted to slow down, needing to focus on something to help her regain her equilibrium. And denial would serve that purpose well. "Why would you even think such a thing?"

Casually taking another step forward, Rossi kept his voice calm, making a conscious decision to tone down his approach. He could recognize a spooked victim at twenty paces, and right now, Jennifer was falling into the same category. "It's a reasonable assumption, Jennifer."

JJ latched onto the one word that would help her maintain control, help her verify her doubts. "Prove reasonable."

Rossi stopped in his tracks, his eyes meeting hers as he heard the firm tone in her voice. "You want me to lay it all out on the table?"

Her legs suddenly felt tired, as if she had just completed a full blown marathon. Sinking against the edge of the bed, JJ sighed as her legs curled beneath her, her doubts beginning to niggle in the back of her mind. "I guess I do, David. You're wrong, but you think you're right. There's a hole in your theory somewhere, David, and I'm going to prove it to you.

David Rossi was not a novice at presenting a well-prepared case for a disbelieving defense, and he knew that the frail woman in front of him was no match for his well-honed trial skills. If it was incontrovertible proof that she wanted, then that was exactly what she was going to get. Forcing his voice to remain calm and reasonable, he started his case. "You've been sick for a week, Jennifer…"

But apparently the defense was not going to take his arguments without objection. JJ piped up immediately, her voice firm as she propped up against a pillow. "I've told you, it's just a virus."

"You wanted my proof, so let me give it to you." Taking another step toward her bed, Rossi pointed a finger at her, his voice firm. "In addition to that, you're specifically sicker in the mornings, when your hormones are more active."

JJ sat up slightly, her eyes flashing as she watched him move closer to her bed. "David, don't even think about bringing my hormones into this discussion, 'cause if you want to see hormonal…"

Taking a deep breath, Rossi maintained his focus, his goal clear. "Jennifer, my turn to speak. Remember?"

Dropping back against the pillow, she rolled her eyes, wondering how long he was going to continue this charade. There was no possible way that what he was saying could be true. No possible way. "Continue, then, o great one."

Finally reaching the opposite side of her bed, Rossi stopped at the edge, knowing that he had saved the best for last. His voice was soft as he added, "And we've not exactly been safe all the time, bella."

As soon as the words came out of his mouth, JJ was shaking her head, her counterargument ready. Staring up into his black eyes, she blurted out immediately, "But I'm on the pill, David. Remember that little piece of pertinent information?

Rossi smiled slightly, not taking his eyes off of hers. He had already considered that argument, and, with a bit of thought, had detected the fallacy in it. "And I seem to remember a few days when Penelope was in the hospital that you forgot to eat, let alone probably swallow a little pink pill. Am I right?"

JJ felt her stomach lurch even more at those simple little words, his proof beginning to take root inside her. As much as she hated to admit it, she had forgotten at least two doses during that horrible time. Two simple pills were left in a round container in her purse, all patterns in her life completely thrown out of kilter during those horrendous days.

If she had the energy, she would reach up and smack that handsome but smug face. But denial was still the name of her game as she said, her voice sounding unconvinced even to her own ears. "Be that as it may, these little shards of so called evidence do not make me with child."

Rossi sat down slowly on the edge of her bed, not moving any further toward her. His voice remained calm as he asked, "Jennifer, are you telling me that you won't even consider the option that you might be pregnant? Is it so hard to see the possibility strongly exists?"

Her smile was forced, and he knew it. He knew all of her emotions intimately, and he could see the doubt creeping into her eyes. Still, she had to continue with her refusal, and he let her. "David, a little bit of dizziness and nausea does not a pregnancy make. I think you're chasing zebras here."

"And you're ignoring hoofbeats, Jennifer." Rossi slid up against the extra pillow on the bed, his legs stretching out next to hers. But he still didn't touch her, knowing that she wasn't ready. Not by any stretch of the imagination. Lowering his voice, he spoke deeply, emotion finally breaking through for a moment. "Look me in the eyes, Jennifer, and tell me that you're absolutely certain that you're not pregnant. One hundred percent certain. Tell me that, and I'll drop the entire thing."

JJ tried to force the words out of her mouth, but her brain finally recognized the futility of her arguments. And denial no longer seemed to be possible as the pieces to the puzzle started falling into place, a shred of horror crossing her face as she stared into his eyes. Swallowing tightly, she whispered, "Oh God. I can't deal with this right now."

Rossi slowly reached out his hand, tracing a finger down her arm. Her eyes were drawn to the touch, and she simply watched his hand leisurely draw circles against her skin. His words floated against her ears as he almost whispered, "Well, you're gonna have to deal with it at some time. If you're pregnant, then…"

That one word seemed to break through her thoughts, and her voice was sharp, biting even, as she ground out, her eyes tightly slammed shut. "Quit saying that. Quit saying that I'm pregnant. I can't be pregnant."

His hand never left hers. "Why not?"

JJ tried to control her voice, her feelings, but she knew that the task was too great. Her voice fairly shook as she whispered, "Do you understand what you're saying? If I'm pregnant, and I'm saying it's a very big if, then everything changes. Every damn thing in my life changes."

Rossi wanted to look into her eyes, wanted to see her thoughts reflected in those baby blues. But she wasn't cooperating, and he wasn't going to push her too far. Her hand fairly shook in his, and he was well aware of the ramifications of this piece of news. Answering her softly, he said, "My life changes, too, Jennifer. Do you think I'm just gonna leave you alone to deal with this? You think I'm going to jump ship at this point in time?"

Shifting away from him, her body turning slightly, JJ kept her eyes closed, needing to close out the world for just a few more seconds. "David, you're at a totally different point in your professional life than I am. You've proven yourself and got the reputation to back it up. I'm just now getting settled. Hell, we've only been together for a few months."

Rossi examined his feelings, knowing that he wasn't about to let her sink their future because of a few insecurities. Raising his other hand, he pressed a soft touch against her cheek, willing her to look at him. "And that changes nothing. I loved you yesterday, bella, and I'll love you tomorrow."

Her heart answered even though her brain was still reeling. "I love you, too, David. Really I do." Her eyes opened slowly, finally staring into his. "But I need some time to think. Alone."

Rossi felt her pull her hand away, leaving his fingers feeling cold when her warm touch left him. Watching her eyes, he saw the fears mixed with a resolve. He wasn't about to let her run from him, but he was willing to give her the space that she needed. For a little while. His jaw clenching, he nodded tightly as he whispered, "This changes nothing, Jennifer. Absolutely nothing. I'll give you some time, but I'm not leaving and you're not running. Do you understand me?"

JJ merely nodded, almost holding her breath as she felt him move off of the bed, his steps firm as he moved toward her door. His shoulders squared, he reached the door quickly, and she heard the door open and close. Dropping her head back against the fake headboard, JJ allowed her hand to creep to her stomach, her palm resting against her shirt. Drawing her legs up against her stomach, she trapped her hand, pressing it even tighter.

Staring at the closed door, she suddenly wondered, for a brief second, if she had just made the biggest mistake of her life.

As Rossi walked down the dimly lit hotel hallway, he had the sudden feeling that his hopes for the future were slipping from his tightly clenched fist. But he wasn't about to allow that to happen without a fight. And David Rossi always won his battles.


	28. Chapter 28

David Rossi had been wrong. Figuratively and literally. JJ was running, hard and fast, her mind as quickly as her feet. And she had no intention of stopping any time soon.

Fortunately for her, it was a beautiful day in Virginia, the sun shining brightly above her as she pounded against the pathway. A well crowded park in a populated area could be her friend, and she appreciated the opportunity to spend time outside rather than on a treadmill once again.

Her thoughts ran rampant in her mind with every step that she took, the events of the recent days jumbling together and refusing to be separated. Her feet on autopilot, having traveled this path many times before, JJ tried to make sense of all of the information that she had been forced to comprehend, knowing that she could no longer live in the land of denial. Even though she wanted to. Her worries far outweighed everything else, the weight against her shoulders growing by the second.

At least the week off from the Bureau would allow her to theoretically formulate a plan. The moment they had arrived back at Quantico, JJ had grabbed the forms that she needed and made her way up a set of well used stairs. Hotch had merely raised his eyebrows when she had requested the personal leave, and the look on her face had discouraged any questions that her chief might have considered asking. JJ remembered standing in his office, her arms crossed over her chest, her gaze firm as she waited for him to sign off on her request. And to his credit, Hotch had done just that, and wished her well on her time away from the Bureau.

The assurance from her doctor that she was, indeed, pregnant seemed to have solidified everything. She hadn't even bothered with a home-pregnancy test, not wanting to trust her future or her thoughts to a potentially false result. Those simple words spoken in a sterile office in a non-descript office building had irrevocably changed the rest of her life. Somehow or another, knowing that it was scientifically true overrode all of her well-thought -out objections. She wasn't even sure that she had heard the rest of what the woman had said, her mind still wrapping around the fact that there was a life growing inside of her. A life that belonged to her and one other person.

Of course, his face immediately came into her mind, his voice invading her thoughts. Stumbling for a second, JJ forced herself to reestablish her pace and rhythm, her feet suddenly becoming sure once again. Thinking about him definitely threw her off her game, and she needed to maintain control if she was going to determine a path for her future. She had watched him watching her on the plane back to Quantico, the case in Pittsburgh finally solved. And she had known that he was upset, giving her space but not understanding her actions. But he had had more time to come to grips with the situation, and she needed him to give her that same consideration.

Feeling the air becoming a bit cooler against her skin, JJ slowed for a moment, pulling the jacket that was tied around her waist over her arms. Slowly regaining her speed, she soon passed the monument on the edge of the park, the one item that she used as her distance marker. Veering off the path, she sidestepped around an older couple who had stopped suddenly, apparently intent on finishing a conversation in the middle of the road.

And then, surprised, JJ abruptly stopped, her feet almost tangling beneath her as she just stared at that couple, her back landing against the cold marble statue.

The salt-and-pepper hair of the man seemed a strong contrast with the pale hair of his companion, her head easily fitting under his chin. His craggy face smiled down at something the woman must have said, and he nodded, a silent sight to JJ, who was too far away to hear the discussion. But JJ didn't have to know the words in order to read the sentiment or to notice the way that his hand never moved from the woman's back, pressing her closer as a bicyclist passed too closely. He protected her without her even knowing it, his eyes never leaving hers as he shielded her body.

Shaking her head rapidly, JJ blinked her eyes against the sunlight, trying to clear her mind, wondering if she might be oxygen deprived from her short run. But no matter what she tried, she couldn't tear her eyes from that older couple, watching them for what seemed like hours, but was merely minutes, as they moved farther into the park, finally out of her view.

Her jog completely forgotten, JJ slowly retraced her steps, her mind still focused on what she had just seen. And one thought suddenly overcame everything else, one desire that she desperately tried to tamp down.

JJ had just seen the future. Her future. And she had to choose if she wanted it.

***************

JJ did not do well when she was awakened abruptly, especially after midnight. As a matter of fact, she was downright violent when this happened, and she had been known to threaten irreparable harm in past situations. She was considering that option once again, as she marched to her front door, intent on silencing the loud banging that was coming from the other side.

Her hand wrapped around her service pistol, JJ peeked through the peephole, muffling a curse as she recognized the face on the other side. Yanking open the locks, she grabbed the doorknob and slammed open the door, coming face to face with her best friend.

Penelope Garcia smiled brightly, the hour not affecting her attitude whatsoever. Breezing past the sleep-dishelved petite blonde, Garcia fairly beamed as she said, "Guessed I might find you here, sugar."

Almost slamming the front door, JJ rolled her eyes as she followed in Garcia's wake, headed toward the barely-lit kitchen. "Well, since it's my home, I guess that's an accurate guess."

Smiling widely, her lips painted hot pink to match her sweater, Garcia flipped on the overhead light, then settled herself on one of the barstools, twisting slightly as she pointed one well-manicured finger toward the sleepy woman. "See, I knew you were a wise woman with a keen grasp of the obvious."

JJ merely sighed, recognizing the futility of trying to understand the phenomena that was sitting at her kitchen counter. Placing her pistol on the side cabinet, JJ resisted the urge to yawn as she plopped on a matching stool. "Penelope, you want to let me know what you're doing at my house at midnight? It's not that I don't love you, but some of us do sleep every now and then."

"You know, it's strange that you brought up the topic of sleeping, gumdrop." Garcia's eyebrows raised slightly, her smile growing larger. "It seems that a lot of people's sleeping habits seemed to have changed over the past few days. I mean, I've always been given to late nights and early hours, but I've seen others begin to imitate me in this area. I don't normally recommend it, trust me."

Finally giving in to the urge, JJ yawned softly, propping one elbow up on the counter. If Penelope wasn't one of her best friends in the world, there was no way she would be giving up precious sleep to listen to what apparently was a rambling dissertation on insomnia. Stifling another yawn, JJ attempted to gain control of the conversation. "Garcia…."

But the woman was not to be deterred from her task. Garcia continued talking, just as if she had never been interrupted. "For example, take Agent Rossi. Up until recently, very recently I might add, he seemed to enjoy coming in at a decent hour and leaving at a decent hour. But imagine my surprise when I realized that he actually beat me to the office this morning. And I was logging on to my first search at a little after five. Five AM, sunshine."

JJ felt her eyes widening as she stared at her friend, the urge to sleep suddenly leaving her as soon as the other woman had mentioned that certain name. Shaking her head slightly, JJ forced a faint smile on her face as she said, calmly, "Garcia,, I don't know where you're going with this, but…"

"Oh, my little story gets better, baby doll." Garcia's eyes fairly glittered in the harsh overhead lights as she maintained her focus. "It seems that your schedule might have changed, too. At the exact same time as our favorite senior agent's did. Once again, imagine my surprise when I found out you took a few days personal leave without telling me, your supposed bestest friend in all of the world. Now, spending time with all of these brilliant profilers might have just rubbed off on me, but when I see two people who once kept the same schedules no longer doing so, it confounds me and makes me want to get to the bottom of the situation."

Frowning once again, JJ pushed a stray hair behind her ear as she muttered, denial still being the name of her game, "Good Lord, Garcia.. It's not the end of the world if…"

But once again, the technical analyst refused to be stopped. Waving her hand for emphasis, Garcia said, "Now, I could have just popped on up to Agent Rossi's office and attempted to get him to explain his actions. I'm sure he would have just opened right up to little ole me! But in addition to his change in office habits, it appears that he has become extremely disheartened over the past few days. Almost depressed." Garcia stopped, her eyes almost glaring across the counter. "Almost as if he has lost someone..or maybe more than one someone..that he loved dearly."

Sitting in her very own kitchen at the god-forsaken hour of midnight on a cold Tuesday, JJ knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that Garcia knew her secret. How, she would never know, but that no longer mattered. And, slightly shocked, JJ also suddenly realized that she was okay with that. Straightening her shoulders, she asked carefully, "Penelope, you want to tell me the real reason that you showed up on my doorstep at midnight?"

Garcia smiled softly, her tone no longer jovial but still kind. "No special reason, precious. Being the good friend that I am, I knew that you would want to know that your doctor's office called this afternoon to remind you to make another appointment soon. Of course, I had to take that message for you. And also, I just thought that if you considered becoming an early riser on, oh, say tomorrow morning, you might want to know where you might find some talk, dark and handsome company. And I can guarantee you that your company wouldn't be rejected." Popping up from the stool, Garcia breezed by her still-seated host, patting JJ's shoulder. "Don't worry about seeing me out, my little night owl. I'll lock the door behind me."

JJ closed her eyes for a brief second, allowing Garcia's words to sink in. She wasn't sure how long she sat in her quiet kitchen, alone, hunched at her kitchen counter, her mind rolling over everything she had heard and thought over the past few days.

Finally dropping her forehead to the hard surface, she felt her mind slowly begin to clear, and a plan start to fall into place.

Yes, she still had some doubts. She still had fears. And she still didn't know what the future would look like. But she also knew that she never intended to hurt David or to cause him to doubt her love. Or to doubt their future.

She didn't know all the answers, but she did know one thing for sure. She loved David Rossi, and she was going to have his baby. And for the first time in over three days, JJ felt a smile cross her face as she dropped her hand to her stomach.


	29. Chapter 29

_Thanks for the reviews and PMs! I appreciate everyone who is still reading! As always, Tracia has kept me going, throwing out ideas and encouragement at every turn!_

He prepared for the siege with the expertise of a five star general, his military plan far surpassing anything that NATO could have devised. Covering every possible contingency, David Rossi carefully mapped out a failproof method to prove to Jennifer Jareau that her pregnancy was not the end of the world as she knew it. His ammunition was solid and lethal, and he spared no expense or resource.

He needn't have bothered, for her surrender came without a single shot being fired.

On the fourth day after they returned to Quantico, the case in Pittsburgh a fading memory, Rossi stepped into his office at the god-forsaken hour of five AM, intent on getting a head start on the day. After all, his nighttime activities had been reduced to merely sleeping for the past three days, and the thought of staying in bed no longer had the added incentive that it once had. Waking suddenly from his dreams, finding that the nightmares had returned, left him feeling cold and alone in his own bed.

But as he stood inside his doorway to his office, he suddenly realized that he was not alone.

Flipping on his desk light, Rossi stared into the blue eyes of Jennifer Jareau, who had made herself right at home in his comfortable leather chair. Merely raising one eyebrow, Rossi took a good look at the beautiful blonde, hoping against hope that what he saw in her clear blue eyes was not a mirage.

For her part, JJ smiled slightly, seeing the faint hesitation in his eyes. His face was impassive, eyebrows slightly raised, his normal attentive expression. But she could see what was behind that, what he was holding close to his heart. She knew that she had put him through hell for the past three days, and she couldn't change that. But she could change the future. Her voice was soft in the semidarkness. "You were right."

Rossi stood stock still, still keeping his entire focus on her face. "About what?"

JJ knew that he deserved more than a mumbled sentence, but the time for explanations would come later. Right now, he would have to be satisfied with a few words and a heartfelt display of affection. She was fairly certain that he would agree. Standing slowly, she moved around the desk to stand next to him, her words almost whispered, "About everything, David. Absolutely everything."

David Rossi was not a slow man, and he quickly recognized the beautiful gift standing next to him. Not even caring that they were in the middle of the Federal Bureau of Investigation, Rossi grinned widely as his hands immediately found a home on her hips, pulling her tight against him. And the time for words suddenly passed.

And that was enough for now.

**********************

From the moment that he had seen her sitting in his office chair, David Rossi knew that Jennifer Jareau was finished running. And he also knew, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that he would make sure that she never had a reason to try to run again.

After kissing her senseless in the middle of the empty Behavioral Analysis Unit, Rossi had quickly decided that neither one of them needed to spend any more time anywhere near the government office and the ever present security cameras. And she had quickly agreed with his assessment of the situation. Quickly agreed.

He hadn't bothered asking her which house they were going to spend the next few days in. And she didn't offer an opinion, her hand firmly encased in his, following his lead as they made their way to the parking garage, only fifteen minutes after he had just arrived. Placing her in the passenger seat of the SUV, David Rossi had to firmly resist the urge to once again kiss her, her face just begging him to touch her. For her part, JJ had just smiled sweetly as he buckled her seatbelt for her, his hands lingering against her still flattened tummy.

And by the time he made it to his cabin, beating his record time by at least seven minutes, David Rossi was more than ready to take Jennifer Jareau to his bed. And possibly never leave.

*************************

He kept to his plans, spending the majority of the rest of the day in his large bed, showing her exactly what she had been missing for the past seventy two hours plus.

Later that evening, curled up tightly against his very warm body, JJ felt herself finally begin to relax, tightened muscles slowly loosening against his touch. The mental stress from the last few days finally started to fade, and she felt herself smiling. Truly smiling.

Rossi's voice rumbled against her ear, vibrating from his chest. "I take it you're happy?"

Snuggling deeper beneath the soft down comforter, she raised her head to meet his eyes, smiling. "Uh huh."

His words were simple but full of meaning. "I'm glad."

Flexing her legs backwards just a bit, JJ smiled even wider as she felt his legs chase hers, his foot capturing hers beneath the covers. Dropping her chin back to his chest, she stared up into his darkened eyes. "You wanna tell me again how you managed to convince Hotch that we just couldn't be in the office today?"

Raising his eyebrows slightly, Rossi felt his smile matching hers, and he couldn't stop it even if he had wanted to. "Is it my fault that our Unit Chief might be suffering under the misbelief that I have a sudden onset of a rare case of the flu? Enough that it might keep me at home for the next two days? Which I believe is just the same amount of time left in your personal leave."

JJ rolled her eyes, but didn't move from his arms. She might never leave his arms again, having learned her lesson well. "You don't think Hotch will see through that? He is a profiler, after all."

Nodding, Rossi agreed with her, his voice solemn but his eyes glittering. "Yes, he is. And Jason Gideon and I taught him everything he knows. But we didn't teach him everything that _we _know, so don't worry about it."

At those very simple words, JJ felt a sudden surge of peace come across her, and it had nothing to do with her boss or his misconceptions. Looking up at the man that she loved, the man that held her tighter than she ever thought possible, she said softly but surely, "I'm not worried."

For the rest of his life, Rossi would remember the way she looked at that exact moment, her eyes heavy from an afternoon filled with passion, her blond hair messed up but gorgeous. Looking directly into her eyes, seeing the trust reflected there, he smiled back at her, slowly sliding a hand down her bare back. "I'm glad, Jennifer."

Her hand slid up his chest, moving to cup his cheek, his beard rough against her skin. Her smile faded slightly as she whispered, "I didn't mean to make you think that I didn't want you or the baby, David. I really didn't."

"None of that matters anymore, bella." His hand mirrored hers, his thumb sweeping against her lips, wanting to bring the smile back. "But no more trying to deal with things on your own. Agreed?"

"Agreed." Nodding against his hand, she felt his touch to her very soul. Sighing softly, she whispered, "I saw my doctor yesterday morning."

Raising his eyebrows slightly, Rossi asked, "And?"

"And it looks like I'm about six or seven weeks along." She smiled again as his fingers moved against her stomach, tracing a sweeping pattern against her sensitive skin. "So we've got quite a few months ahead of us."

David Rossi had absolutely no doubt when their child had been conceived, and he truly believed it had happened the first time he had made passionate love to this beautiful woman. Merely smiling, he shifted his hand again, dropping a tight palm against her hip as he slowly shifted her body over his. Wrapping his arms around her, he pulled her up, his lips meeting hers in a slow, passionate kiss. Feeling her arms wrap around his neck, he smiled into mouth, knowing that he had Jennifer Jareau exactly where he wanted her.

And he planned on keeping her.


	30. Chapter 30

_Thanks again for reading and reviewing! And I owe a debt of gratitude to Tracia and Susan for their continual support and encouragement!_

**Mid-Ep for Elephant's Memory, Season 3**

**Little Creek Reservoir, Virginia**

From the time that she decided to escape for college, Jennifer Jareau had realized the importance of a well-developed plan. Her skills had only grown in this area throughout the years, and her talents at devising the best and worst case scenarios ranked right up there with the commanders in the fields in the Middle East.

She normally left no stone unturned and no avenue uninvestigated. From resources to time issues, she covered every possible wayward circumstance, determined to make the best decision based on the best information available. Her present and her future depended upon these pertinent choices.

So, it was no surprise to her that she decided to apply the same logic to her current situation. Except this time, she was also considering the choices of the man who was currently sharing her life and sharing her future. And, fortunately for him and her, David Rossi was readily agreeing to her plan, his only stipulation that she implement her plan within the next month.

JJ was inclined to agree with him, if for no other reason than the fact that she wasn't sure that David Rossi could keep his mouth shut any longer. She knew he watched her constantly, those dark eyes fairly glittering, that small secret smile on his lips, and she just knew that he was thinking about their baby. Their baby. The thought brought a smile to her face, too.

So, knowing that she didn't want to hide from their team much longer, JJ Jareau agreed to tell their boss and their team after the next two or three cases. That would give her long enough to have a perfect plan in place and all contingencies covered. She and Rossi would have a private meeting with Hotch, explain the situation, then have a casual dinner with the rest of the team. JJ even planned the menu for the dinner, taking into account each team member's favorite food, knowing that each little thing could help put everyone in a good mood. She could handle things much better if everything went according to her terms and her plan.

In a perfect world, this might have happened. But Jennifer Jareau and David Rossi did not live in a perfect world, and neither did their team.

And Jennifer Jareau soon remembered that pertinent fact, realizing that her plan had missed that one piece of information.

*****************************

Rossi heard the phone ringing, but he was doing his best to ignore it, weaving the tone into his current dream, a little background music. But when the ringing continued far beyond the dream, his mind finally moved back to reality.

But reality was better than the dream, for he had JJ wrapped in his arms in his bed, her long blonde hair tickling his neck. He felt her stirring, the ringing apparently waking her, too. And he was glad, for it was her phone that was ringing.

JJ awoke quickly, her mind already attuned to her phone. Knowing that was her work tone, she clenched her eyes tightly, letting out a deep breath. And felt strong, warm arms wrap tighter around her for a second. At least that brought a smile to her face. For a moment.

One arm still wrapped tightly around her, Rossi reached across and grabbed the cell phone, his sleep-heavy voice whispering, "You better answer it. They'll just keep calling back." The bright red numbers on the bedside clock glared at him, letting him know that it was only eleven pm. They had only been in bed for an hour.

Her eyes adjusting to the darkness, she could just make out his whiskered face, the slight smile crossing his lips. Nodding, she forced her eyes open as she felt the still-ringing phone pressed into her hand. Throwing off the nice, warm comforter, JJ sat up on the side of his bed and checked the display on the phone. It was the BAU main line, and that meant that they had a case.

Watching her shoulders hunch, her words growing in strength as she continued waking up, Rossi sighed. Their night was apparently over, or she would have already disconnected the call. And knowing that his Jennifer did not like being awakened so soon after drifting off to sleep, he had a fair bit of sympathy for the person on the other end of that phone call.

Shifting his back against the headboard, he leaned over and switched on the bedside lamp, continuing to just watch her for minutes. Even with her back turned to him, he could imagine her facial expressions, her work game face going into place. Her shoulders hunched tighter for a moment, and he frowned, wondering exactly what she was hearing that would cause this.

He didn't have to wait long for his answer. As she disconnected the call, he watched her lay the phone down and just hang her head. That he did not like.

Reaching out his hand, he turned her shoulder, forcing her to face him as he pulled her slight body to his. "Tell me what's happened, Jennifer."

Looking into his eyes, the lamplight glittering off of her face, she answered softly, "Cops just got killed in Texas, and they don't know if it's terrorism or not. We're gonna have to head in."

Nodding his head slowly, Rossi slowly traced his finger against her cheek, noticing the fatigue that was still lingering around her eyes. "You gonna be okay?"

Smiling grimly at his words and his tone, she answered softly, "Just still tired. And your baby doesn't appreciate plane flights, so I'm not exactly looking forward to a redeye to Texas."

He felt his eyes narrowing at her answer, and he knew that she wouldn't like what he was about to suggest. But he had been considering this option for a few days, especially after her morning sickness seemed to be getting worse by the day. "Look, Jennifer, maybe you should consider staying…"

If the ringing of his cell phone hadn't stopped his words, the glare that she gave him would have. Sighing, he gave her one last look then reached for his phone, knowing that this was the same call that she had just received. The mattress shifted as they both moved, him to answer the phone and her to grab her clothes.

As he answered the call, his eyes followed her around the room, watching her grab the items that she would need, her actions methodical and planned. Over the past week, she had invaded his bedroom in more ways than one, and he honestly believed that she had more clothes here than he did. And he wanted to keep it that way. Sighing silently, he sent up a silent prayer to whatever deity was listening that they could get through this case and get back home in one piece.

For this was the first time that David Rossi would willingly send his love and his unborn child into the field of fire. And he suddenly realized that he didn't like that plan at all.

****************************

Pushing her hair out of her face for what seemed like the tenth time in the past ten minutes, JJ leaned against the wall of the small bathroom, her legs curling beneath her on the floor. Closing her eyes, she pushed against the counter, doing her best to try to stand up once again, hoping against hope that the plane remained steady for just a few more minutes. Just long enough for her to get her bearings.

Finally standing up straight, JJ took a good look at herself in the mirror, not at all impressed with what she saw. White face, hollow eyes…not a good look for her. Unless the nausea passed soon, there was no way that she would be able to hide her pregnancy, and she knew it. But her plan was to hold off for a bit longer, to just get through the first three months. Surely she could do that. Surely. And that's what she kept telling herself as she leaned against the wall once again, waiting for the nausea to pass.

Rossi had watched her make a mad dash for the bath, the plane barely leveled off before her seatbelt smacked the wall. For the first few minutes, he had forced himself to stay seated, ignoring the raised eyebrows of the team as they apparently wondered about their blonde teammate. Rossi had no doubt what was happening. But sitting idly by while his love suffered was not part of his plan, and after ten minutes, David Rossi had reached his boiling point.

Ignoring the looks of the team once again, Rossi stalked down the small aisleway of the plane, his intention clear. Reaching for the knob of the bath door, he jerked it open without knocking, knowing from experience exactly what he would find. He had held her head many times over the past few days, and he was prepared to do it again.

JJ heard the door open, but for the life of her, she couldn't even open her eyes at that moment. But she had a fairly good idea who had just invaded her space. And a part of her, the part that was violently ill, was glad.

Watching her pale face leaning against that fake plane wall, her head limply pressed against the surface, Rossi bit back a muffled curse as he moved to her. "Damn it, Jennifer. Why didn't you call for me?"

Feeling his arms wrap around her, JJ allowed him to take her weight, to let herself rest against him completely. Her voice sounded weak, and she hated that. But she had no choice. "I thought it would go away. It always goes away."

"The nausea might go away, Jennifer, but the plane won't." Pressing a soft hand against her paler-than-pale cheek, Rossi murmured in her ear, pushing her hair away from her face. "What can make it better right now, bella?"

"Nothing can, David. Nothing." Her breath hitched in her chest, and she couldn't stop the tears that started making tracks down her cheeks. Her voice wavering, she moaned, "It's this damn plane and getting woke up in the middle of the damn night and this damn morning sickness that doesn't even recognize that it's not morning. And I hate it when I cry!"

Pulling her closer, Rossi carefully swept his fingers against her cheeks, drying her tears as much as he could. Holding her perfectly still with both arms, knowing that movement would make her worse, he said evenly, "Go ahead and cry, bella. I think you've earned the right."

Giving in to her emotions was not what JJ normally did, but at this point in time, somewhere in the dark air over the United States, hearing him call her bella in that tone of voice, Jennifer Jareau felt her resolve crumbling. And she was extremely glad that he was the only one to see it, knowing that at least he had seen her lose it before. Dropping her forehead against his chest, she let the tears fall, trusting him to catch her if she fell.

And he did just that. Rossi held her, strong arms wrapped around her fragile body, mentally cursing himself for putting her through this. Looking over her shoulder, he watched them in the small bath mirror, her blonde head tucked tightly into the crook of his neck, his arms crossed over her back. She seemed so frail, so dependent, the harsh light of the tiny bath illuminating every detail. And his mind reminded him that this was just month two. He wouldn't change the outcome, but he damned sure wished that he could change the process. Finally feeling her body begin to relax, her tense shoulders dropping slightly, he whispered, "Any better?"

At her slow nod, Rossi shifted her slightly, tucking her against his side. Reaching behind her, Rossi grabbed a cup and filled it with water, pressing it into her hand. "Just a sip, Jennifer, and then you need to lie down."

Pulling an unsteady hand to her face, JJ smiled weakly as she took the water. "Lying down sounds really good." Finishing with the cup, she dropped it back into his waiting hand.

"Glad you agree with me." Keeping his arm firmly around her waist, Rossi took a good look at her face, the circles under her eyes seeming to have grown in the past few minutes. And his determination grew, also. Keeping his voice as even as possible, he carefully tilted her chin, making sure that he had her attention. "And I need you to agree with me on something else, Jennifer. When we walk back into that plane cabin, we're going to tell the entire team exactly what is going on. And when we get to Texas, you're going to stay in that damned police station if I have to cuff you to your chair. And when…"

Even with her body not cooperating fully, JJ's mind was still sharp. And it didn't take but a few words for her to recognize what he was attempting to do. Careful not to jar her body, JJ interrupted, her tone low but sharp, "David, don't do this. Don't force us to mess up the plan. This was just a temporary anomaly. I'll be fine once we…"

His eyes flashing, he matched her tone, pulling her body even closer. "You'll be fine once you quit trying to deal with everything on your own. I know that I agreed to that damned plan, but circumstances change, Jennifer. Do you honestly think that our team, that team of renowned profilers, isn't out there putting two and two together right now? Hell, I'm just surprised that one of them hasn't already invaded this tiny room, demanding to know exactly what is going on."

At the mention of their team, JJ tightly closed her eyes, her mind telling her that he was completely right. Taking a deep breath, she let her eyes open again, staring into his. "I just hate this. I hate not being in control." Her hand twisted his black shirt tightly, her fist clutching him closer.

Knowing that she was finally agreeing, Rossi said, voice clear and strong, "Trust me, bella, you've not lost control. I won't ever let that happen. Not now and not ever." Guiding her one step toward the door, he opened it, and they stepped back into the cabin of the plane. To face their waiting team.


	31. Chapter 31

_And once again, I owe a great deal of thanks to Tracia for her continual support and encouragement. She and Susan have been wonderful! And thanks to everyone who has been reading and reviewing. Please let me know what you think!_

The moment the bath door opened with a click, every eye on the darkened plane had turned toward the couple. And JJ felt their stares. Oh, how she felt their stares. If it hadn't been for David's hand pressed firmly against her lower back, she was fairly certain that she would have tried to escape. Surely this plane had a parachute. Or an escape pod. Either would work at this moment.

But escape was not an option, and Jennifer Jareau knew it. Closing her eyes for a moment, she willed her stomach to unclench, knowing that this was definitely not the time to deal with any more morning, day, or night sickness. Feeling Rossi press a bit harder on her back, she took a deep breath as she took the hint, and stepped forward.

Prentiss was the first to speak, her voice kind but inquisitive, her dark eyes taking in everything at once. "Everything okay, JJ?"

Smiling weakly at the older woman, JJ answered, her voice as calm as she could make it, "It will be as soon as we land this plane, Em."

As if the pilots had heard her words, and ignored them, the plane took a slight dip to the right, and JJ's stomach moved along with it. Suddenly, without warning, the plane shifted even further, taking everyone by surprise, most of all JJ.

Losing her balance completely, JJ felt herself falling, the edge of the seat in front of her suddenly slamming into her side. Closing her eyes against the pain, she grimaced tightly, her words rushed as she tried to breathe. "Oh, that hurt!"

The moment he had felt her body leave his side, Rossi was already moving toward her, ignoring the continued bouncing of the plane as he reached for her bent form. Hearing the pain in her voice, he ignored the fear that clawed at his heart, his only goal reaching her, and quickly. Seeing her clenched face and the hand pressed against her stomach, he spoke sharply, not bothering to hide the concern in his voice, "Are you okay, Jennifer? Did that hurt the baby?"

Neither JJ or Rossi noticed the looks that they were receiving, first compassionate and worried, then otherwise when the team realized that JJ would be okay. Or rather, they both chose not to pay attention to them. But if they had noticed, they might have seen Emily and Morgan exchange a wide smile. Hotch, not given to public displays of emotion even in the seclusion of the plane, merely smiled down at his notepad, while Reid suddenly remembered the birth rate for the commonwealth of Virginia. Fortunately, the young genius kept that information to himself.

Closing her eyes tightly against the waves of discomfort once again invading her stomach, JJ automatically reached out her hand, finding that Rossi was already reaching for her, his arms wrapping tightly around her.

As much as she wanted to deal with the entire situation herself, JJ was intelligent enough to realize that that possibility no longer existed. Turning her body into his, pressing her face into his whiskered neck, she mumbled quietly, "I've got to lie down, David. Please."

Not even bothering to look at the other team members, David Rossi focused his entire attention on the woman in his arms. Half carrying and half leading her, he carefully helped her onto the bench seat, his eyes on her face the entire time. Even in the dim interior light, he could tell that she looked paler than she had before. He heard Morgan say something behind him, but his mind was nowhere near dealing with anybody else but the woman he loved. Smoothing her hair away from her white skin as he knelt next to her, he asked, keeping his voice even, trying to hide the fear that was invading his thoughts, "Any better yet?"

Her voice still weak, JJ whispered slowly, "Some. It helps to be flat, I think."

"Then flat you will remain." Rossi watched as her eyes closed again, his entire focus on her completely. Feeling a hand touch his shoulder, he looked up, surprised, to find Prentiss standing beside him.

Smiling softly, Emily pressed a cool wet cloth into his hands. "I thought this might help. It always seemed to help my sister."

Raising his eyebrows slightly, Rossi merely nodded and said, "Thanks, Emily." Turning his attention back to the blonde love of his life, he pressed the cold cloth against her forehead, hearing her moan slightly.

Narrowing his eyes, Rossi asked, his voice low and soft, "Too much, bella?"

Her eyes still tightly closed, JJ murmured, "No, that feels wonderful." Taking a deep breath, she whispered, "Emily knows, doesn't she?"

Smiling softly at the nervousness in her voice, he said, his tone even and calm, "I'd say that's a fair assessment."

A strong male voice interrupted their not-so-private conversation. "You know we can all hear you, don't you?"

Feeling JJ's hand clench tightly against his, Rossi's thumb caressed her fingers as he answered, not bothering to turn toward the other man. "Not exactly trying to keep you from it, Hotch."

Still flat on her back, her eyes closed, JJ forced herself to focus, the queasiness beginning to slowly leave as the plane seemed to quit shaking so much. Staring at the inside of her eyelids, JJ took strength in Rossi's touch, feeling his warm hands slowly sweep against her skin. She could feel him now sitting next to her on the long bench, his hip grazing hers. Gathering her wits, she tried to make her voice sound like a professional FBI agent, not a weak sickling. She was half-way successful. "Look, Hotch, this wasn't exactly how we planned to share the news."

It wasn't Hotch that answered, but the velvet smooth voice of Morgan, a slight tinge of humor in his words. "Which news would that be, little sister? The news that you and Rossi are definitely fraternizing or the news that you apparently have a bun in the oven?"

This time, Emily's voice cut in, and JJ could definitely hear the gentle laughter in her voice. "In case you missed it, Morgan, I believe both pieces of news are intertwined."

Her mind cleared enough to process the voices and the tone. And it was evidently apparent that her two teammates knew the news before she told them. Her voice suspicious, she asked carefully, eyes still tightly closed, "Emily, when exactly did you and Morgan manage to become so attuned to my life?"

Once again, Morgan's voice broke in, this time a full-fledged laughter accompanying it. "JJ, if you and Mr. World's Greatest Profiler hadn't wanted us to know, then maybe you should have covered your tracks better at the hotel in Indianapolis."

"Don't blame JJ, Morgan. Rossi couldn't have been any more protective of her on the plane ride back to Quantico." Emily's voice matched Morgan's in humor. "It didn't exactly take a genius to see that there was more than a colleague relationship happening, JJ."

So her entire team knew that she and David Rossi were together. So much for flying under the radar. Slowly opening one eye, she squinted up at the smirk that was on the face of the father of her child. "Seems that we weren't so careful after all, huh?"

"Told you, bella. They're smarter than they look." Rossi merely raised one eyebrow, his eyes smiling down at her. Slowly removing the cool cloth from her forehead, he laid it to the side as he smoothed her hair. "Now, I believe we discussed you sleeping for a few minutes."

Her mind considerably calmer than before, JJ decided to do just that as she closed her eyes once again. Feeling him pull a blanket over her legs, she surrendered to the sleep that would take away the nausea.

Her plans had changed. Drastically. And she was going to have to adjust to the new plan. Even though she would still have to deal with her coworkers reactions, and with Rossi's protective streak, she could handle that when she awakened. Right now, she and the baby inside of her needed to rest. As her mind slowed to a dull roar, Jennifer Jareau started to reluctantly accept the fact that her priorities just might be changing.

And change was not necessarily a bad thing.


	32. Chapter 32

**_As always, thanks to everyone for reading and reviewing. And Tracia and Susan have been God-sends! _**

Sitting across from her, his eyes half-closed in the dim light of the airplane cabin, David Rossi considered everything that had just happened. To his credit, he didn't try to analyze the entire situation, the early hour contributing greatly to that decision. But psychoanalysis aside, he was well aware of the fact that there would be several hurdles still to be crossed, the first coming very soon. For he was certain that the mother of his child had no intentions of sitting out this case or any case in the near future.

But her intentions aside, he might have something to say about that. Hearing the pain in her voice when she fell against the seat had alarmed him. And the thoughts of her placing herself in a possibly dangerous situation, which was the definition of their jobs, didn't lessen that feeling of alarm. And watching her sleep, her face now calm and free of pain, he once again felt that repeating feeling of wanting to keep her that way.

The movement of the seat next to him broke him out of his reverie, but Rossi kept his eyes almost closed, knowing exactly who had sat down without even looking. His voice dry, he asked, "So how long have you known, Hotch?"

"I had my suspicions that first time you met JJ in my office, Dave." Glancing sideways at the older profiler, Hotch raised his eyebrows slightly as he said, "You weren't exactly subtle in your perusal that day."

Shrugging his shoulders as he settled further in the leather seat, Rossi answered, "Didn't intend to be subtle."

"Glad to see you succeeded then. And watching you the night of the shooting at the BAU pretty much solidified my thoughts. You weren't exactly subtle that day, either." His smile fading, Hotch pursed his lips as he continued, "I don't have to tell you that this is not going to be easy. You of all people know the uphill battle that you'll be facing."

Rossi had been expecting these comments, and he wasn't surprised by the line of thinking that was coming from the Unit Chief. "I think what you're trying to say is that Jennifer will be facing an uphill battle. But we both know that I won't let her have to choose between the Bureau and me and the child."

"No doubt you've got this all planned out already." Crossing his legs, Hotch waited for the other man to respond, already having a fairly good idea of what that response would be.

"You're damn right I've got a plan. The moment there's a whiff of a problem, Erin Strauss better be updating her resume." Rossi's tone was calm but his words were filled with heavy meaning.

"You ever going to share exactly what it is that you have on our not-so-beloved Section Chief?" Hotch really didn't expect an answer, but it was worth trying. He had always known that David Rossi possessed far more power than almost anyone else in the Bureau, and he respected that. Hotch had played the politics game for years, but his connections were but a pittance when compared to Rossi.

"Probably not." Rossi glanced a the younger agent, wondering briefly if Hotch had any clue that he had pulled strings long before he returned to the Bureau, effectively silencing Strauss when she was trying to sabotage the careers of not only Hotch but also the rest of the Unit agents. Rossi had carefully watched Aaron Hotchner's career for years, knowing that the younger agent had both the natural instincts and the political connections needed to become a powerful asset to the Bureau. More than that, though, Rossi trusted and respected Hotch. When he had found out that Erin Strauss was attempting to damage Hotch, to limit his ascension and his growing power, Rossi had quietly and carefully called in a few favors, essentially nulling any threats that Erin Strauss had made.

Deciding that the younger man was unaware of what had happened behind the scenes, Rossi nodded toward the sleeping blonde, his eyes softening as he said, "Let's just say that adjustments are sometimes necessary, no matter how well planned you think your life is."

"Things have a way of changing when you least expect it." Memories of previous losses colored his words and his tone, and Hotch knew it. But he also knew that he had a friend in his senior profiler, and that he could speak freely.

Rossi heard the unspoken thoughts in those words, and he knew that this was probably not the time to discuss Hotch's lack of family. Lowering his voice, he replied, "I think you said something like that right after you introduced me to Jennifer months ago. I guess we've both experienced that first hand over these past few months."

His voice turning deadly serious, Aaron Hotchner turned and looked David Rossi in the eyes. "I hope it goes without saying that you're not going to mess this up."

Rossi merely looked at the younger man, his eyebrows furrowing. After a few moments of marked silence, Rossi murmured, "She's it, Hotch. Jennifer is the one woman that I've been looking for all these years. The thoughts of losing her …well, let's just say that I don't allow myself to go there. That woman has changed my life in ways that I didn't think was possible."

Aaron Hotchner pondered the information that he had just received, knowing that David Rossi didn't speak in that tone of voice about just anybody. After a few moments, Hotch merely nodded, not bothering to respond or to comment.

Rossi understood the response, and appreciated it. The time for words had passed, both in this conversation and in other areas.

His eyes still trained on Jennifer Jareau, her sleeping form a beautiful sight even in the dim light of the cabin, he let his mind wander for a moment. Yes, their lives had drastically changed, and would change even more in the future. He still had questions about the horrible event that she had faced ten years ago, and he still planned to find the answers to those and many other inquiries.

The near future, however, took precedence in his thoughts. Somehow, someway, he and that stubborn woman would have to come to some sort of agreement concerning her continued involvement in the field. Her independence and determination both thrilled and chilled him, his respect of JJ's abilities and skills at loggerheads with his desire to see her protected.

A light went on at the back of the cabin, and the slight flash bounced off JJ's blonde hair as she turned slightly in her sleep. Rossi was immediately taken to the past, the sight of her leaving Hotch's office months ago, blonde hair swinging, once again filled his mind. And recalling his thoughts from that exact moment, he smiled as those words came back to mind, his eyes now firmly on her beautiful face.

Change was in the eye of the beholder, and, damn, he liked what he saw.

**Okay, my friends, this is the last chapter in Change...but the sequel is coming quickly, I promise! Thanks to everyone who has still been reading this little universe, and especially Tracia and Susan, who have kept me sane. The sequel is "A Happy Chance" and I'll post the first chapter quickly, I promise.**

_"We are not the same persons this year as last; nor are those we love. It is a happy chance if we, changing, continue to love a changed person." William Somerset Maugham_


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